


Hard Candy

by 64907



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Barebacking, Bondage, Collars, Community: shoexchange, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Gags, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Orgasm Control, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10052765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/64907/pseuds/64907
Summary: On most days, Sho is a librarian who alternates as a research assistant. On Saturdays, he is Jun’s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cielmelodies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmelodies/gifts).



> Written for Sho Exchange.
> 
> Disclaimer regarding the summary: Sho doesn't do a lot of library work in this fic; what he does instead is to get laid a lot.
> 
> About the tags: this fic has D/s that was explicitly discussed by the characters beforehand. There’s a scene with them getting carried away, but one character calls it off as soon as he realizes it. The relationship in this story shouldn’t be a basis for any actual practices since there are stuff in here that has them bending the rules to their favor.
> 
> Thank you to lapetit-chou who spotted some of my mistakes. Any mistakes left (probably a lot) are mine.

A glance to his left told Sho that it would be another slow day in the archives; the clock on his desk had been on 9:25 for what already felt like hours.  
  
He stretched, hearing his joints pop.  
  
“Does anybody still use libraries?” Aiba asked, leaning against the countertop.  
  
Sho liked Aiba. Aiba was an industrial chemist, working for a pharmaceutical company that wanted clinical trials for their latest innovation. But Aiba was careful; instead of agreeing to the proposal, he had headed to the public library to ask for Sho’s help.  
  
“People like you,” Sho told him, smiling in front of his monitor as he waited for the database to provide the most recent journals they had on the catalogue.  
  
Aiba smiled. He was always a cheerful one. “I like it here. It’s quiet.”  
  
“Unless you’re chatting me up,” Sho joked. He jotted down the control numbers for each article in Aiba’s very specific search (double blind studies for toxicities of some compound Sho couldn’t pronounce) before handing Aiba the piece of paper. “Second floor, then turn left.”  
  
Aiba laughed, accepting the paper with a tiny bow. “You’re the best, Sho-chan.”  
  
Sho simply waved him off, relaxing in his seat as Aiba trudged away with a noticeable bounce in his steps. Sho wouldn’t mind a co-worker like Aiba; his enthusiasm was infectious.  
  
Instead of a cheerful coworker however, what Sho had was an L-shaped desk with stacks of binders underneath. There was another desktop to his right, the one the head librarian used. Sho was only the assistant head librarian, but that meant that he spent more hours surrounded by shelves, books, and files than his superior.  
  
His phone beeped, causing a tiny vibration that Sho felt in his pocket.  
  
Out of habit, Sho looked around to check if anyone was watching him. It wasn’t taboo to use his phone during work hours; it just happened to be ingrained in him even before he had gotten the job.  
  
The patrons of the library were all minding their own business and despite the quiet chatter Sho could hear in the background, the sounds emitted by his phone with each cautious tap still seemed louder.  
  
_Tomorrow, I’d like to meet at 8 PM._  
  
That was the message. For a brief moment, Sho stared at the bonsai icon, wondering what would be an appropriate reply.  
  
He keyed in _Not 7?_ and tapped Send.  
  
The response was almost immediate, his phone vibrating in his hands. _It is Friday today._  
  
Sho couldn’t help a tiny smile at that. He considered sending an apology, but ultimately decided with a simple _Understood_ for his reply.  
  
There were no subsequent messages after that, but Sho kept rereading the first message, the fiery knot in his stomach still present.  
  
Jun always had that effect on him.  
  
\--  
  
The website had been Ohno’s idea.  
  
Ohno was one of the library’s regular patrons. He worked in the café across the archives, and he made these delectable treats and appealing lattes with his skilled hands.  
  
Ohno often visited the library to take a nap during his breaks. He became Sho’s friend when he became a familiar face, more so when he gave Sho a free latte when Sho visited the café.  
  
Good food, more than anything, easily wins Sho’s heart.  
  
Soon, Ohno became one of the few people Sho could talk to about anything; the man mostly just listened and hummed in agreement whenever Sho would vent a little in front of him. Ohno was the type who either didn’t mind or just spaced out too often. Either way, he was an adequate companion, a comforting presence regardless of the constant stresses in Sho’s life.  
  
There had been many things Sho mentioned to Ohno in passing; he honestly didn’t think Ohno was actually listening. But one day, after Sho had let out his frustrations over his most recent hookup ending in a catastrophe, Ohno slipped a piece of paper in the saucer of his next coffee cup.  
  
The URL had been the only thing scribbled on that paper. No explanations or addendums—just Ohno being Ohno.  
  
Sho had checked out the website out of curiosity, when Tinder had yielded nothing but dick pics that didn’t pique Sho’s interest in any way.  
  
_In the Room_ was the site Sho had gotten from Ohno, and upon opening it, Sho had realized that perhaps, all his one-sided conversations with Ohno weren’t really one-sided after all.  
  
It was a social networking site that had the same features as Tinder, finding people of the same preferences in nearby areas. That part had been the easy one to digest for Sho.  
  
But _In the Room_ also asked for predilections and kinks unlike Tinder. Sho was admittedly inexperienced in that department, but he had always been curious and open to possibilities. There were things he had trouble addressing, but they were all the things that he was willing to try.  
  
He had made his account, filled in his profile, and when he had reached the text box asking for what he wanted, he’d decided to fill it out honestly.  
  
For Sho, who worked as an assistant head librarian of the oldest public library in a corner of Tokyo, having someone else in charge wasn’t something new. He had a superior, someone he respected and listened to often. He was used to being asked for things, to accomplish tiny favors and receive monetary compensation for his efforts.  
  
But what was it like to not receive monthly bank notes for his efforts, instead garner favor, appreciation, and perhaps genuine gratitude? That was what Sho wanted to know, to find out. There had been that nagging feeling that _In the Room_ could perhaps help satisfy his curiosity.  
  
As he had filled out the kink list, he had ticked all of the kinks he was into, even the ones that were up for negotiation. When he had reached the bottom, it had only three choices for him.  
  
Choice A had read, _I like being in charge._  
  
_I prefer someone else being in charge_ had been choice B.  
  
C had been a combination of the ones that had preceded it: _I’m fine with either._  
  
Sho had clicked B.  
  
For weeks, there was nothing. Sho wasn’t particularly hooked to the site; he had catalogues to check and to look over from time to time. Lunch dates with Ohno had the man asking if Sho had visited the website, and Sho simply nodded.  
  
Then Sho received the email, that he had a personal message waiting for him in _In the Room_ ’s messaging system. He got it when he was in the middle of his latte, some of the foam sticking to his philtrum.  
  
Without wasting time, despite Ohno being still in front of him and munching into the croissant he had made with his own hands, Sho logged on and checked the message.  
  
Sho’s username was Zeus, and he had received a message from someone who went by Lucy.  
  
_Zeus-san_ , the message went, _you seem like a very honest person to me._  
  
Sho immediately tapped onto Lucy’s icon, which was a diamond. Lucy’s profile stated that he was a bisexual man, a year younger than Sho but also residing in Tokyo, and he was open to pretty much anything but hardly interested in just anyone.  
  
The profile also said that Lucy liked being in charge.  
  
“They’re calling you back?” Ohno asked, wiping crumbs that had stuck to his jaw.  
  
“No, it’s not work,” Sho answered with a dismissive wave, already distracted.  
  
“Date?” Ohno asked again, giving Sho this hopeful smile. He was Sho’s confidante regarding his failures to have something concrete and stable—he must have deduced it from simply looking at Sho’s face.  
  
“Something like that,” Sho said after giving it a bit of thought. “Maybe,” he added.  
  
“Best of luck,” Ohno said, taking a huge bite out of his croissant once more.  
  
“Thanks,” Sho murmured, his fingers already hovering on the keyboard, his eyes fixed on the blinking cursor.  
  
_Who doesn’t like honesty, Lucy-san?_ he typed, and after rereading it, he tapped Send.  
  
Ellipsis appeared a few seconds after Sho had sent in his reply, and his breath hitched.  
  
Lucy was currently logged on to the website.  
  
_Point,_ Lucy’s message said, followed by another set of ellipsis. Sho waited, and the next message for him read, _Your profile gave a very earnest impression. I like it._  
  
There was a plunge in Sho’s gut as he read those last three words. _I like it._ Lucy, whoever he was, liked Sho’s bold declaration that he was inexperienced but willing to learn.  
  
_You read all of it?_ Sho sent. His profile was three paragraphs long, and _In the Room_ had listed his kinks in another tab.  
  
_I found it interesting_ , was Lucy’s reply. _I’m assuming it is your lunch break so I won’t waste your time anymore. Are you interested?_  
  
Straight to the point, perhaps the impatient kind. Sho had met men like this before, but aside from a diamond icon and a very particular dating profile, he didn’t know much about Lucy yet.  
  
_I’ve never done this before_ , Sho sent, followed by _Not like this, I mean._  
  
_No rush, no pressure. You did state you are inexperienced. But you didn’t answer my question._  
  
Sho held his breath, that churn in his stomach feeling too hot for a moment, like he’d been caught red handed and whoever did was displeased.  
  
_I am_ , Sho keyed in, deciding to be honest. His honesty had piqued Lucy’s interest; his honesty would probably lure Lucy back in.  
  
_For future reference, Zeus-san, I don’t like repeating myself. Now what do you say to a round of question and answer?_ was what Sho received.  
  
If Sho hadn’t been interested in Lucy before, he certainly was now. He checked his watch and saw that he had fifteen minutes left. He looked up and met Ohno’s eyes from across their tiny table.  
  
Ohno was smiling. “I know that background,” Ohno said, pertaining to Sho’s phone. “You finally got one?”  
  
Ohno always spoke of things like they were as simple as fishing (his favorite hobby)—set a bait, wait, reel in your catch.  
  
“It’s probably nothing,” Sho said, shrugging. He typed a quick _Sure_ and sent it. “We’re just conversing.”  
  
“Better than Tinder though,” Ohno said, stretching. “I’ll clean up. I’m up for the next three hours.”  
  
“Thanks, Satoshi-kun,” Sho muttered as Ohno began clearing away their used plates and cups. He turned back to his phone, letting the intermittent sounds of porcelain hitting utensils serve as background music.  
  
_You’re free to ask a question of your own, provided you answer mine. If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. Just say it. I’ll begin: what’s your daily atmosphere like?_  
  
Sho wasn’t expecting that question. He spent a few seconds pondering on what to answer, then he went with _Books. Folders. Files. Mostly books. There’s a café across my workplace. I frequent it._  
  
_I like books_ , Lucy’s first message read, followed by a prompt: _Your turn._  
  
_Why Lucy?_ was what Sho sent as he left the café and made his way back to the archives. It’d be another slow afternoon from the looks of it; not a lot of people go to the library on weekdays unless they were university students.  
  
Or industrial chemists like Aiba, trying to find answers before his deadline.  
  
_I like The Beatles. It’s one of their songs that I like. Hey Jude is another one_ , was Lucy’s reply, something Sho read when he was finally back on his desk. _Favorite color?_  
  
Sho replied _Red_ and tapped Send, before keying in his question. _What’s the view from your window, Lucy-san?_  
  
Their messages went back and forth (Lucy’s reply to the window question being _Buildings and buildings. Sky Tree. Like Tokyo in a snowglobe_ ). By the time it was early afternoon, Sho learned that Lucy liked soba, had a bonsai at home, and wanted to watch a soccer match in Barcelona.  
  
Work ate up the following hours, so Sho politely excused himself and explained his situation, that there were theses that he had to look up for some students. He also had to help a university professor locate a digital copy of an atlas, one that wouldn’t be available for public download until the next month. After that, Sho had to sort out library cards and renew some library passes for a group of young researchers.  
  
He returned to his desk and found a message that said, _You like helping people out._ Sho didn’t miss that it wasn’t phrased as a question.  
  
_I’m a librarian, Lucy-san. It’s part of my job,_ he keyed in, figuring it was best to give his new friend a few details about what he did for a living.  
  
Sho’s phone vibrated, and he read _Is that why you registered for this site?_  
  
_Tinder was becoming predictable and uninteresting._  
  
Sho was surprised when he received a laughing emoji for a reply. Lucy never gave Sho the impression that he was easy to please. _Personally,_ Lucy told him, _I only go there when I want a quick fuck or I’m too drunk that I no longer care._  
  
Before Sho could come up with a response, Lucy sent him another message: _I wasn’t judging you. In case you thought I was._  
  
Well, that was a relief. _What do you do for a living, Lucy-san?_ was what Sho decided to send. He’d rather know more about Lucy than ponder on the true meaning behind his previous messages.  
  
Sho instantly received a smiling emoji for a reply, followed by ellipsis that were quickly replaced with _I’m a business consultant, right now in the middle of a meeting I’d rather have not attended. You’re keeping me entertained._  
  
Entertained? Sho quirked an eyebrow at that. He was just replying to Lucy’s messages, and most of them were answers to Lucy’s questions.  
  
_Entertained is an interesting word for it._  
  
_I wasn’t lying when I said I was interested in you._  
  
That made Sho draw in a quick breath. It had been a while since he received that from anyone, unless he was in some swanky bar in Nichome and the night was turning late. _Why the interest then? Which part of my profile convinced you to send a message?_  
  
A set of ellipsis popped up, only to disappear before popping up again. Lucy was choosing his words carefully, and now Sho was absolutely glued to his phone as he waited.  
  
_I liked your honesty. I value honesty, Zeus-san. I think it’s an irreplaceable element in every relationship._  
  
Sho’s hands moved quickly, typing out _Are you looking for a relationship?_ without rereading it.  
  
The reply was instantaneous, only taking a couple of seconds. _Aren’t you?_  
  
Sho flipped his phone, the screen facing his palm. Why did he sign up for _In the Room_? Sure, Tinder was becoming tiresome, but if he only wanted to get laid, Lucy was right—Tinder did the job.  
  
Which meant that Sho was looking for something more. Not in the relationship sense that he wanted stability, but something more to one night stands and drunken hookups at a bar.  
  
Sho had this feeling that he and Lucy were on the same page, that they weren’t pertaining to a relationship that consisted of dinner and movie dates, of afternoons spent at an amusement park or by having a picnic somewhere.  
  
_I’m inexperienced_ , Sho keyed in, knowing Lucy liked his honesty above all else. _But I’m willing._  
  
For the next five minutes, there was nothing. The messenger system didn’t have any Seen notification that would at least give Sho an idea if he’d scared Lucy away or if he’d sounded too desperate for Lucy’s tastes. Sho busied himself with scrolling through Lucy’s profile, seeing that the man’s kink list was at least thrice of what Sho was into. It was very detailed, arranged from what turned Lucy on the most to the least. The section for the kinks that were up for negotiation was sparsely populated, but arranged in the same manner.  
  
Lucy was someone who had been through something like this before, perhaps for multiple times in a year. Sho scrolled up and saw that Lucy had been a member on the site since its establishment in 2010.  
  
Someone with a seven-year experience (or perhaps longer—Sho was now under the impression that Lucy didn’t exactly keep his predilections a secret) had voluntarily sent Sho a message because he’d apparently been interesting enough. _In the Room_ didn’t offer profile photos, so Lucy hadn’t been piqued by his looks or by any part of his body. It had been Sho’s words that had grabbed his attention, and Sho couldn’t figure out how. He’d made his account only a month ago.  
  
His phone vibrated, and Sho tapped on the messenger icon that had a tiny red callout for a notification.  
  
_I have a proposal, Zeus-san_ , was all Lucy’s message said.  
  
But before Sho could confirm that he was listening (or reading, it didn’t matter), a set of ellipsis popped up, followed by _I’d like to institute a probationary period of a month._  
  
Probationary period? Sho blinked. It sounded like he was applying for a job.  
  
_I won’t be asking for something troublesome. If you accept, we’ll start small and gradually work our way until the end_ , was Lucy’s next message. _Your profile said you like someone to be in charge. I like being in charge. I want to know if it’ll work out between us._  
  
Sho sent _And if it does? If I pass your probationary period, Lucy-san, what happens?_ with steady fingers.  
  
The ellipsis that had appeared were gone after Sho blinked, instead replaced by a message that made Sho’s heart race.  
  
_Then I was right about you._  
  
\--  
  
That was how it started. Sho accepted the probationary period offer, and Lucy’s next proposal was that they move their conversation elsewhere. He asked for Sho’s LINE ID and email address (the one Sho used for his account in _In the Room_ ) and in minutes, Sho received the LINE notification that someone added him.  
  
Sho was expecting Lucy, but instead he got someone whose LINE ID was Massan.  
  
Massan’s photo was that of a bonsai.  
  
He accepted the request, and soon, he was greeted with a message. _Shoyan?_  
  
_It’s one of my nicknames_ , Sho explained. _The -yan is the affectionate bit, or so I’ve been told._  
  
_Sho_ , was the next thing Sho read from Massan, and his eyes widened. Reading it felt like he heard it from the man personally, despite not knowing how the person he was talking to looked like. _I like your name. Better than Zeus._  
  
_Will I ever know yours?_ Sho asked. In his head, there was Lucy whom he’d met in Ohno’s suggested website, and now there was Massan who was apparently the same person but seemed more real than Lucy had been for reasons Sho couldn’t name.  
  
_Jun_ , was the prompt response.  
  
Sho mouthed the name repeatedly, trying to get used at it. Jun. Jun. Jun with the bonsai icon. Sho stared at it, at the circle that showed a rectangular pot which housed a tiny tree that seemed to be in full bloom. It must be the real thing, the one that Lucy—no, Jun—owned.  
  
_You don’t have to work for anything_ , was what Jun sent to him next, followed by a clarification that made Sho’s cheeks heat up a bit. _Not yet, at least._  
  
Sho looked around, seeing some students sleeping and some cramming, but no one was approaching his desk. The head librarian was still on her vacation, and all security cameras were directed at the long tables for the patrons.  
  
No one was seeing Sho text, and what he was doing with Jun felt all the more...secret.  
  
It thrilled Sho.  
  
_So how does this work?_ Sho asked, anticipation churning in his gut for what he was signing up for.  
  
_What’s your work schedule like?_  
  
_I work eight hours every day on the weekdays and five hours on a Saturday._ The weekends usually had the bulk of visitors in the library, and Sho’s superior liked more interaction and preferred a lively atmosphere. She had the rest of the weekend and shared half of the weekdays with Sho.  
  
_And in those hours you spend at work, do you usually have the free time to have a conversation as long as the one we’re having?_  
  
_Yes_. Sho had a feeling that Jun liked direct answers; he seemed like the person who would ask for an explanation if he wanted it. Sho prided himself with being smart enough to pick up on subtle hints, and even if he hadn’t seen Jun in person, Jun gave off the feeling of someone who only liked details that were necessary.  
  
Jun’s reply was longer than what Sho had been expecting. _That’s good to know. Here’s how the probationary period works: for a month, I’ll be sending simple orders in this thread. You reply as per instructions. The time limit is specified for every order, but considering your line of work, I’ll be giving out hours instead of minutes. However, they will decrease according to how fast you respond._  
  
The challenge was evident with how Jun had phrased that message, and a part of Sho wanted to prove that he was up for it. He wouldn’t have agreed to it if he wasn’t.  
  
Sho settled for a simple _I understand_ for a reply, and he remained seated on his chair, waiting.  
  
This time, Jun’s response was quick. _Do you have any questions?_  
  
Sho sat there, considering his options. He had no idea what were the limitations to what he could ask. Was Jun pertaining to the setup of the probationary period? His explanation had been clear and concise. There was nothing to clarify.  
  
Before he could come up with anything, Jun had sent another message. _You’re free to ask anything._  
  
_Is that an indefinite offer?_ Sho sent, wanting to be sure first.  
  
_It is. In order for this to work, I need you to be honest. And I will reciprocate._  
  
Sho decided to ask the one thing he had been curious about since Jun’s first message to him as Lucy. _Why are you doing this?_  
  
A minute-long pause, then Sho could read _Clarify._  
  
Sho took a deep breath. The fact that Jun couldn’t see his face and didn’t know anything aside from his given name gave him the bump of courage. _All of this. Going through all this trouble. I’m inexperienced, and yet._  
  
_Same reason as you_ , was Jun’s reply, sent almost immediately, like he had been expecting Sho’s query. _I’m looking._  
  
_Looking?_  
  
_For someone who can give me what I need._  
  
_And I seemed like that someone? What exactly were you looking for?_  
  
_Someone honest. Intelligent enough to read between the lines but respectful enough to never assume. Someone who can confidently admit what they’re lacking in and not feel ashamed, instead having the desires to improve. Someone eager to learn._  
  
To Sho, that read like a job description. Except that it wasn’t. It was Jun being honest with him, answering his question and satisfying his curiosity.  
  
Did Sho’s profile have that much substance? He wasn’t aware.  
  
_Does that answer your question?_ was Jun’s followup message.  
  
_It does. May I ask another one?_  
  
_You may. And thank you for asking first._  
  
Sho’s fingers hovered over the phone keyboard for a moment, before he typed _Can I thank you, should the situation call for it?_  
  
He was looking a bit far into the future with that one, but he truly wanted to know what Jun’s preferences were for that sort of thing. Did Jun expect gratitude as early as now or would they work their way towards that slowly?  
  
Jun’s reply was as direct as the ones before it. _I want you to thank me only when you feel like it. When you truly mean it._  
  
Sho’s breath hitched; he wasn’t expecting that. Jun had given off the impression of someone controlling, someone who steered the conversation wherever he felt was appropriate. Sho had expected a simple yes or a no for an answer, but instead he had been given the freedom to do as he wished.  
  
He figured that expressing his gratitude was one of the very few things Jun would allow him to do whenever he pleased.  
  
After a brief moment of silence, his phone vibrated again. _Do you have any more?_  
  
Sho thought about it. _None at present._  
  
_All right. We will begin your probationary period tomorrow. Until then, Sho-san._  
  
Sho was uncertain on what to reply, but there was an indication on the side that would show Jun that he had read the message.  
  
He opted not to say anything. Jun did say “until then”, and until tomorrow, Sho supposed he’d get nothing in their thread.  
  
He tucked away his phone just in time; a student with kinky hair was on his way to approach the desk to check out a title. Sho stretched his legs and went back to work, his phone forgotten.  
  
\--  
  
Unlike yesterday in which Sho had received Jun’s first message while he had his lunch with Ohno, he got Jun’s latest message for him when he was in middle of checking out reference titles that were now obsolete since there were newer editions that had been delivered this morning.  
  
The front desk was manned by Fuma, an intern whom Sho took a liking to since he was respectful and did his job seriously. Sho wasn’t worried about any happening despite the number of visitors today: Fuma was capable enough to handle checkouts and requests for theses in the library database.  
  
Sho checked his phone, not bothering to hide what he was doing since he was alone.  
  
_Time limit of an hour. Take a photo of three of your favorite books using the option in this app. Send them to me from your most favorite title to the least._  
  
Sho hesitated only for a moment, then he set aside the iPad that had the reference titles he was checking in Excel to head for the back room, his phone in his hand.  
  
Locating his favorite titles ate up more than thirty minutes, but he was able to find them and gather them all in one place that had adequate lighting. He took a picture of Faust, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and The Five People You Meet in Heaven and he sent them in succession.  
  
The Read notification appeared seconds after Sho had sent the last one, and he waited.  
  
_Twenty-three minutes left on your time. Well done._  
  
The last two words of Jun’s reply sent a rush of elation in Sho. He had done well. He had done well enough that Jun was pleased—there was no way he wasn’t; he had promised honesty from the very beginning. It was a shame Sho couldn’t see Jun’s face; he wanted to know if Jun had sported a tiny smile as he received Sho’s reply.  
  
Sho tucked away his phone after, picking up the books he’d collected to place them back in their shelves. He went back to work, pulling out five obsolete editions and making a record of them in the database.  
  
The rest of that day passed without any further orders from Jun. It made Sho feel like his work day dragged on and on.  
  
On his way home aboard the train, while he was checking out which restaurants to call for a takeout, he received a LINE notification from Jun.  
  
_Time limit of three hours. Give me the two most recent personal photos from your photo library, excluding the ones you’ve sent earlier. None of the photos you’ll be sending must have your face or any part of your person, but must be personal nonetheless._  
  
An addendum popped up a few seconds later: _You are not to take any photographs right now._  
  
Sho switched apps and checked his photo library, finding a bunch of selfies. His face with that delicious shoyu ramen from the other day. His face with that minced meat nabe that had been Ohno’s recommendation. His face with Aiba’s signature mabo tofu from last week’s visit to the guy’s family restaurant.  
  
Selfies, selfies, and more selfies. Sho kept scrolling, and all he saw was his face. Jun didn’t ask for his face.  
  
By the time he got home, forty-six minutes had already passed from Jun’s time limit. The instruction was very specific, and Sho didn’t want to bend the rules in his favor. He could easily crop one or two photos, edit out his fingers or his hand from the shot, but that would be cheating.  
  
He didn’t want to cheat. He wanted to be honest.  
  
Sho took a seat on his couch, determined. He began to painstakingly checkout each folder, which ate more than an hour and a half of his time.  
  
Time check, and he realized he only had thirty-nine minutes left.  
  
He settled for that photograph of the knitted scarf he had received for Christmas and for a photo of the view from his hotel room from the time he’d been to Dubai for a vacation.  
  
He sent them and was immediately rewarded with a response from Jun.  
  
_Thirty-seven minutes left on your time. Was it that difficult?_  
  
Sho was about to reply, but there was another message from Jun.  
  
_Yes or no._  
  
_Yes_ , Sho sent.  
  
_The scarf. Gift from a boyfriend?_  
  
Sho had to laugh at that. _More like knitted by my grandmother._ It was one of the few things she’d made but hadn’t been able to pass to Sho at the right time. _They found it in Gunma a week after the funeral._  
  
_I’m sorry_ , was Jun’s immediate response.  
  
_Don’t be._  
  
_The city view. Saudi?_  
  
Close enough. Sho smiled. _Dubai._  
  
_Spectacular view. Excellent work._  
  
Sho shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Not out of relief but out of happiness, the tiny tendrils of which were creeping up his form, making him bite his bottom lip to suppress a smile. He was itching to ask if he’d pleased Jun, but decided on typing out the one thing he hadn’t yet, meaning every word.  
  
_Thank you._  
  
Jun’s reply came after a beat. _You’re welcome._  
  
Sho held his phone in both hands, allowing this momentary feeling of floating consume him even just for a while.  
  
\--  
  
The following days passed by in a similar manner: Jun would send simple orders, mostly about him asking for photos that didn’t include Sho’s face. Sho had to send photos of borrower’s slips, catalogue cards, Ohno’s latte art for that day, of the signboard for free portraits written in liquid chalk he had seen at the park on his way back home.  
  
Overall, they were simple, easy to follow orders. The time limits varied, but they were all reasonable. The most difficult one (in Sho’s opinion, so far) was Jun asking for a photo of a homemade dinner.  
  
Sho sent his own version of a dress omurice as a reply.  
  
Jun’s response arrived nearly five minutes after he’d sent the photo. _What is that?_  
  
_Dress omurice_ , Sho replied, still taking pride in his work. It tasted fine; it was edible. He’d nearly cut himself while mincing (or was it dicing?) the onions, but it had turned out fine. He was prepared to defend it.  
  
_I’ve never seen dress omurice look so mutilated_ , was what Jun sent in their thread.  
  
Mutilated? Sho was offended. _It’s good. Don’t let appearances fool you!_  
  
He was surprised when instead of a rebuff, he received another instruction.  
  
_Time limit of three minutes. Take photos of your hands. Show me the back of each, then your palms, and your fingertips. Include your wrists, too._  
  
Sho scrambled to follow—he only had three minutes. He took each photo in succession and sent them in the order Jun had specified. His hands were shaky, his heart leaping to his throat when he hit Send for the last one and saw that three minutes had passed.  
  
Did he make it?  
  
His phone was silent for the next couple of moments, and Sho held it in combined worry and anticipation. He’d never asked what would happen if he didn’t make it on time. Would Jun dole out punishments? Was that how this worked, even if he was still on probationary period?  
  
His phone vibrated, and he cautiously unlocked it to check.  
  
_Right on the dot. Good job._  
  
The relief was momentary, almost instantly replaced by curiosity. In the past days, Jun had never asked for any photos of his person—not until tonight. _May I ask a question?_  
  
_You may_ , was the immediate reply, like Jun had been expecting him to say that.  
  
_Why now?_ Sho had a feeling Jun would understand what he meant; in their conversation so far, Jun was coming out as someone perceptive and sensitive.  
  
_I wanted to know if you’ve hurt yourself while you made that rather grotesque version of dress omurice._  
  
Instead of being offended, Sho was surprised and...touched. Granted, Jun didn’t even bother to mask the insult (rather grotesque—he didn’t just settle for grotesque), but the concern was palpable in his message. The order made sense, and it made Sho’s gut feel funny.  
  
_It’s not grotesque_ , Sho retorted as a reply, not knowing how to express what he was presently feeling.  
  
_No. That’s why I said rather._  
  
That made Sho shake his head in disbelieving laughter. He’d never win against Jun, would he? _I’ll have you know that it’s good._  
  
_Consider this as me knowing. But don’t be too ambitious next time._  
  
Sho felt his cheeks warm at that. Was Jun reprimanding him? Did he displease Jun with his choice of dinner? _Was it that unsatisfactory?_ he sent after minutes of contemplating it.  
  
The phone vibrated with a message. _No._  
  
Sho waited, and Jun sent another one. _But if it can endanger you, I’m against doing it._  
  
_You’re making it sound like I’m a hazardous element in a kitchen._  
  
_Your omurice gave that impression. Don’t try something too advanced next time._  
  
It sounded like a reprimand, except there was also the underlying feeling of Jun being concerned, perhaps a bit worried if Sho wanted to push his luck. Right now, Sho badly wanted to know how Jun looked like, just to see if his gut feeling was right.  
  
_I understand_ , Sho sent. An apology felt out of place since Jun didn’t really seem very displeased with him.  
  
_That being said_ , was Jun’s next message, followed by _do you bite your fingernails?_  
  
Sho checked his nails and the photo he’d sent, comparing them. Jun would have had to zoom into the photo and examine it carefully to be able to notice such a thing.  
  
Was Jun really that meticulous? _Yes,_ Sho admitted, _when I’m nervous._  
  
_Time limit: indefinite. Do away with that habit._  
  
Before Sho could type out a question, there was another message. _Your honesty and confidence despite your inexperience drew me to you. I want you to be more confident._  
  
Sho took a deep breath at that, releasing it in a rushed exhale. As an employee, he liked it when his superiors pushed him to his limits. He knew his own limitations but he had always been driven to get past them in order to excel. As a person, he’d always aimed higher, always wanted more, always viewed his limitations as merely barriers he could overcome someday if he worked harder.  
  
To him, this was Jun making him go past his limits, for him to become a better person.  
  
_I understand_ , was what he chose to send.  
  
_Beginning tomorrow, you are to send to me photos of your hands with your palms spread on any flat surface so I can see if you’re doing it or not. I won’t be specifying an hour, but you are to send those to me before the day ends._  
  
_Okay._  
  
Jun’s reply this time made Sho’s breath catch, heart hammering inside his ribcage. He froze, feeling his blood rush south as soon as he read it.  
  
_Good boy._  
  
\--  
  
Apart from the additional instruction of daily photos of Sho’s hands, the subsequent weeks passed in the same manner: with Jun giving out orders that were answerable by photos, sometimes videos. He’d asked for a video of the night sky that Sho could see from his apartment, specifying a duration of ten seconds. Jun’s comment for that one had been _Seems chilly. Keep warm tonight._  
  
Sho had slept with his kaimaki on and his blanket covering his body that night.  
  
Before Sho even realized, his probationary period was up. Jun’s only message for him on the day after a month had passed was _Wait for my email tonight_ , which wasn’t helpful or informative and just made Sho nervous.  
  
He lifted his fingers to his mouth but froze as soon as his fingertips made contact with his bottom lip. He clenched his hand to a fist and lowered it to his side.  
  
To get rid of the nerves, Sho focused on his work. Today was archiving day, which meant he had to begin checking books that had come out in series and evaluate their condition. Lately, there had been more titles that he had to file as a reference book, meaning they couldn’t be checked out anymore since the bindings on the pages had started to give way.  
  
Sometimes, the people who borrowed the books didn’t take care of them in the way they deserved. Sho hated it. He liked his job; he liked being surrounded by books while caring for them at the same time.  
  
The hours passed by with him being engrossed in inputting details to their database. He ended up doing an overtime until he started hearing (or imagining) noises since it was only him and the nighttime security guard left in the archives.  
  
That served as Sho’s signal to head home, but he opted to stop by an izakaya first as a reward to himself.  
  
It felt strange, not receiving orders from Jun. The probationary period had passed all too quickly, and before Sho knew it, he had gotten used to receiving instructions. Throughout today, he’d check his phone and would feel a pang of disappointment when there had been nothing for him. At first, he couldn’t define it. Then it had gradually sank in, that he’d been waiting because he’d gotten accustomed to waiting.  
  
He had a bottle of beer against his mouth when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He absent-mindedly pulled it out, eyes widening when he saw an email with a diamond emoji for a subject.  
  
The sender’s email address read as ‘jun.m’.  
  
Sho slipped a couple of bills across the table as payment and moved to leave, wanting to be home before he opens the message. He wanted to be somewhere private; all of his interactions with Jun so far had been secret. Ohno only knew that Sho was in constant communication with someone, but nothing more. The orders, everything Jun had asked from him so far—he and Jun were the only ones who knew.  
  
As soon as he got the door of his apartment closed behind him, he began reading the email.  
  
_Sho-san,_  
  
_You’ve been honest, earnest, and very attentive to everything I’ve asked for in the past month. Your inexperience is undeniable, yet you’ve been expressive enough that I was able to see the willingness in you. Frankly, you were impressive.  
  
If you are amenable, I’d like for us to meet and share a couple of drinks this coming Saturday at 9 PM. I’ve attached the address of the establishment and will be waiting for your response. This Saturday will mark our official meeting, in which we’ll be discussing how to proceed from here. I’d like for you to hear my proposal in person.  
  
Should you be willing to proceed, you may reach me through this email. Please let me know no later than tomorrow evening.  
  
Regards,  
  
Jun_  
  
Sho reread it again, then once more until he could see the words when he closed his eyes. Jun said he was impressive. It was nothing like getting a compliment while he was doing his job—this one felt more...personal.  
  
A part of Sho wanted to jump at the opportunity of meeting Jun, to finally have a face to attach to the phantom feeling of having someone he was in constant communication with. Someone who had given him nothing but instructions but equally praised his good work.  
  
Someone who had been in charge of him.  
  
But there was a side of him that hesitated because he had expectations. His current image for Jun was someone who looked older despite being younger in age, someone in a suit 24/7 and had a fancy car with keys that he didn’t allow to jingle because it irritated him.  
  
It wasn’t concrete, but still, expectations were expectations. He wondered if Jun had some of his own too, regarding Sho. What did Jun imagine he’d look like? Had Jun even imagined, ever thought of it?  
  
Did Jun think of him as much as he thought of Jun in the past month?  
  
Questions were gnawing at Sho, and he decided to let the email gel for the next few hours. He’d have a bath, think about it, and perhaps get himself another can of beer from his fridge. Whatever he decided on, it’d be a beginning of something. Something good, something bad—he couldn’t tell yet.  
  
But as he sat there, later when he’d finished his bath and his second can of beer, he made up his mind.  
  
He had to find out.  
  
He waited until midnight before he tapped on the Reply option.  
  
_Jun-san,  
  
I’ve read your email and am agreeable. I didn’t see the point of making you wait when I would still give you the same response. I’m pleased to have read your honest evaluation of my performance and grateful for your feedback._  
  
He paused, wondering how to express that he was looking forward to meeting Jun without sounding too desperate and overly curious. He never had the impression that he’d annoyed Jun in their past correspondence, but there was always a first time for everything and Sho wanted to tread carefully.  
  
_I look forward to Saturday._  
  
Sho ended the email with his usual signature and sent the message.  
  
\--  
  
The address Jun had attached to his email led Sho to a bar in Nishi-Azabu, one that had private booths. Jun had apparently reserved a booth for them beforehand, and Sho had been instructed to give Jun’s name upon query.  
  
He did, and he was led to a booth in the back, one that didn’t have a lot of patrons. From the looks of it, the bar was members-only, and Sho was only granted entrance because Jun had arranged for it.  
  
When he slid into the booth, he was offered a menu that consisted of expensive drinks. Nothing out of Sho’s budget, but something he’d normally go for only when he felt like rewarding himself.  
  
“Matsumoto-san said to give you anything you wanted, in case you’d be early,” the waiter told him.  
  
Matsumoto? Sho blinked. He never knew Jun’s surname until now. Matsumoto Jun. Knowing his full name made him all the more real, and Sho let it sink in for a few moments.  
  
“I’ll have scotch, thank you,” he said, handing the menu back.  
  
The waiter politely excused himself, and Sho relaxed in the booth, leaning back and stretching his legs. He had been early only by two minutes, and checking his watch revealed that it was exactly 9:00 PM at present. The booth had a glass door that allowed Sho to see the corridor, and he kept glancing at it every time he’d see a shadow color the walls outside.  
  
The waiter came back with his drink and excused himself once more, and Sho nursed his drink while he stole glances at the direction of the door.  
  
9:05.  
  
9:08.  
  
9:10.  
  
His fingers were tapping against the table surface as a way to calm himself. He wasn’t bad with waiting—he’d spent the past month waiting for instructions from a man who had a steadily blooming bonsai for an icon—but Jun had said 9 PM.  
  
9:11.  
  
9:13.  
  
9:15.  
  
His scotch was halfway finished now, and he was contemplating on getting another one when the glass door swung open, a man wearing a fedora and a red jacket entered the booth.  
  
Sho stared at the stranger, at the casual way he slid into the booth, sitting right across Sho before lifting his head. His hat hid half of his face in shadows, and Sho could only see his chin.  
  
Before Sho could open his mouth, the waiter returned.  
  
Jun—Sho was assuming it was him; who else could it be?—lifted his hand even before the waiter could speak. “Wine. Red, the one you were recommending earlier when I came in. Make it two.”  
  
Jun’s voice had a certain aura to it, nothing like the deep rumble that Sho’s had or the airy, lighthearted feel Aiba’s possessed. No, it was suave and smooth, and it already had Sho’s attention.  
  
Sho hardly noticed the waiter depart.  
  
“Apologies for the wait,” Jun said, tilting his head. He still had the hat on, and Sho was considering the idea of asking him to remove it. Was he free to make requests? They just met. “I had some problems with the printer.”  
  
“Printer?” Sho asked before he could help it.  
  
Jun’s face under the hat moved the slightest bit, but Sho saw enough that it was unmistakable: Jun was smiling, the brim of his fedora hiding it from view. “I did say I have a proposal. I wanted it on paper.”  
  
The waiter returned with two glasses of wine, and after he set it in front of them and left, Jun extended a hand towards Sho in a wordless gesture for him to sample the wine.  
  
He did, finding its rich taste and fruity odor too sophisticated for his tastes.  
  
“Well?” Jun asked, his own wine glass in hand as he sniffed the contents inside. “How is it?”  
  
“A bit spicy,” Sho said honestly. “Tastes expensive.”  
  
To Sho’s surprise, he was rewarded with a laugh. It was manly, a rushing intake of air that ended in a chuckle, producing a sound of genuine amusement. “I haven’t tried this one before.” Jun took a sip of his drink, and Sho watched his tongue dart out as he appeared to lick his lips. His mouth glistened despite being hidden under his hat. “Tastes old.”  
  
“That’s a strange word for it,” Sho commented.  
  
“A good kind of old,” Jun clarified, setting his glass down. Then he lifted a hand to remove his hat, and Sho held his breath.  
  
Jun ran a hand through his hair before looking up once more, and Sho wasn’t expecting the glasses. Thick, large frames, the edges of which rested right on Jun’s high cheekbones. He had prominent eyebrows that made him look intimidating, and without the hat obscuring his face, Sho could see the leftover marks of acne all over his cheeks, the imperfections that lined his jaw.  
  
There were three beauty marks surrounding his mouth and Sho’s eyes were drawn to them. They looked like dots that were waiting to be traced, perhaps by a finger or...something else.  
  
His eyes snapped back to Jun’s, and Jun’s lips curled in amusement.  
  
“Not what you expected?” Jun asked, lifting his wine glass to his mouth once more.  
  
“No.”  
  
Jun’s eyebrows lifted the slightest bit. “The good kind of unexpected or the bad kind?”  
  
“The good kind.”  
  
Sho couldn’t deny it. Even behind the huge glasses, Jun was attractive. Strong face and striking features, but that made him more compelling and appealing to Sho.  
  
This was the person who’d asked for photos of his everyday life—the kind of food he’d eaten, the lattes he’d drunk, his favorites, his surroundings. The person who’d prohibited Sho from giving in to his mannerisms and had urged him to have more confidence.  
  
It felt surreal to be able to put a handsome face to all of that.  
  
“That’s good to know,” Jun said, pushing his wine glass to the side. He leaned back in his seat, inclining his head to reveal a long, pale neck. He said nothing, just looking at Sho, until Sho couldn’t help squirming in his seat.  
  
“Uncomfortable?” Jun asked.  
  
Sho was accustomed to answering questions with just yes or no, so he went with the truth. “Yes.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“You’re...staring.”  
  
“I like what I’m seeing.”  
  
Sho had to look down at that, feeling warmth from his neck travel upwards. He resisted the urge to touch his cheek and feel the heat spread.  
  
“Not what you expected?” Sho asked, remembering Jun’s words from earlier.  
  
Jun smiled, catching on. “Exceeded my expectations, in fact. For someone without experience, you’ve been doing that a lot.”  
  
“You said you had a proposal,” Sho prompted.  
  
“Getting impatient?”  
  
“Is that a bad thing?”  
  
“There’s a proper place for it,” Jun answered, but he reached into the pouch he had brought with him. “But I’ll let it pass for now.”  
  
When Jun faced him once more, he had sheets of papers with him. He slid it across them, and Sho accepted it with the briefest tilts of his head.  
  
It was his profile in _In the Room_ as well as Jun’s, particularly the section of their kinks.  
  
Sho had an inkling that tonight would be about upping their...arrangement, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of direct approach.  
  
He liked it. It made things easier, and the lack of embarrassment from Jun’s side was helping assuage his nerves. He hadn’t had sex for months and hadn’t dated for longer. He was determined to have something promising come out from tonight, and it made him more conscious of his actions.  
  
He looked up and met Jun’s expectant gaze.  
  
“My proposal is far more lenient in schedule compared to what we’ve had in the past month,” Jun began, and Sho turned all his attention to him. “Your probationary period was structured as such because I wanted to assess the willingness in you as you followed my orders. What I propose is something long-term, for as long we both want it.”  
  
“I’m listening,” Sho said.  
  
“Simply put, I will have your Saturdays. I understand that you work for a half a day in the archives during Saturdays. Which is why only your Saturday evening until the midnight beginning Sunday will be your time with me.” Jun gestured to the paper in front of him. “I’ve read that for more times than you can imagine. I’ve compared the kinks you’ve listed to the ones I’m into and had them printed out for clarification. I want to do that now if that’s okay with you.”  
  
Sho slid both papers back towards Jun as a response.  
  
“Just give me a yes, a no, or negotiable,” Jun said, and Sho gave a quick nod. He knew what he wrote, but he appreciated Jun taking the time to confirm things with him first. “Praises?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho answered immediately. He liked being complimented. It wasn’t a secret.  
  
“I noticed,” Jun said with a smile. He held a pen in his right hand and Sho watched him put a tiny check beside the kanji. “I can give it if you’re deserving of it.”  
  
“Do I have to earn it?” Sho asked, then he exhaled. “I’m sorry. I should have asked for permission first.”  
  
“No, not yet,” Jun said, waving his hand in dismissal. “We haven’t reached an agreement yet. Whatever applied in your probationary period is nullified for now unless you agree to my proposal. And to answer your question: yes, you have to earn it.”  
  
“I understand,” Sho said with a nod. “Please continue.”  
  
“Bondage?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You like being restrained,” Jun stated.  
  
“Yes,” Sho answered. He didn’t miss Jun’s smile.  
  
“How about spanking?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Slapping?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho replied, holding his head high. He wouldn’t be ashamed. He wouldn’t have listed it if he was ashamed of it. Admitting it outright was just another step he had to overcome.  
  
“With rings on?” Jun asked, lifting his hand for emphasis. Sho could see a large, studded silver ring on his middle finger. He imagined that making contact with his cheek, creating tiny indentations.  
  
“Negotiable,” Sho said.  
  
Jun made these notes on Sho’s paper before moving to his own, scribbling in tiny kanjis that Sho couldn’t read given their distance.  
  
“Breathplay?” Jun asked, and Sho noticed Jun was looking at his own printed profile.  
  
“No.”  
  
Jun immediately drew a strikethrough over the word, moving to the next one. “Orgasm denial?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“How about delay?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Orgasm control?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
The tiny checks appeared on both papers, and Jun moved to the next. Sho’s answer to “gags” was another yes, but he said no to crossdressing. He answered negotiable for toys, and when Jun asked for clarification, he went with “Depends on what they are.”  
  
“I have a lot in my collection, Sho-san. If we proceed with this, we’ll have to go back to this bit,” Jun said, making notes on both sheets once more. He had to push his glasses up his nose from time to time, and Sho couldn’t help smiling at the sight. Jun looked so serious, so focused and dedicated.  
  
“Sensation play?” was Jun’s next question. That wasn’t on Sho’s, so he assumed it was Jun’s.  
  
That earned Sho’s another “no”.  
  
“Just out of curiosity, why not?”  
  
“I’m ticklish,” Sho admitted.  
  
Jun laughed. “Very well.” He drew a line over the word and moved to the next one. “Sensory deprivation?”  
  
That one was in Sho’s list of negotiables and that remained true to this day. “Negotiable.”  
  
Pen scratched paper, then Jun read the next one on his own. “Service?”  
  
Sho blinked, thinking about it. “Negotiable.”  
  
The tiny quirk of the corner of Jun’s mouth was hard to miss.  
  
They went with the rest of list in the same manner until they managed to cover all of it and Sho’s wine glass was nearly empty.  
  
Jun pushed the papers once more in Sho’s direction. “Review them in case I made mistakes.”  
  
Sho did, committing Jun’s handwriting to memory. It wasn’t as messy as his own, and Jun had written in smaller characters. Sho read _make a list to go over_ beside the toys part, just as Jun pressed the buzzer on their side to call for a waiter and order two more glasses of wine.  
  
They waited for the drinks to arrive and for the waiter to leave before Sho passed the papers back to Jun.  
  
“All good?” Jun asked.  
  
Sho nodded.  
  
Jun steepled his fingers in front of him, making Sho straighten up in his seat. “Very well. The second half of my proposal then. As I’ve said, your Saturdays after work will be the time you will spend with me. We can work over the details should you choose to accept, but as an overview: we will meet at my home, where I have everything we will need. Should there be something that we will need that’s not in my possession, it’s not your problem. It’s mine. Since the setup is for us to only meet on Saturdays, the rest of the week becomes our time to prepare.”  
  
“Prepare for what?” Sho asked.  
  
There was a shift in Jun’s expression, but it vanished in an instant. “I will be drafting scenarios for our meetups. In the time you’ll be spending with me, we will both act according to the scenario we agreed on. I have from Sunday until Wednesday of the week to email you that scenario in order to give you time to agree and to prepare. You are free to make requests before Saturday, and I will seriously consider them and perhaps even agree to do some of them, depending on what they are. Does that answer your question?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho said with a nod.  
  
“That’s basically it,” Jun said, leaning on his elbows now. “Does it sound doable or do you want to back out?” Jun inclined his head to the side, studying his face. “I won’t hold it against you. If you don’t want to proceed, tell me. We’ll enjoy our drinks and go our separate ways. No hard feelings.”  
  
“I accept,” Sho said with conviction, staring into Jun’s eyes across the table. “I accept your proposal.”  
  
Jun shut his eyes briefly, then opened them to look at Sho’s hands.  
  
He was examining Sho’s nails, Sho realized.  
  
Sho had to resist the urge to clench his hands to fists. “I didn’t send a photo today.”  
  
“No matter; I can see it for myself,” Jun said, and seeing him actually pleased felt like a drug rush to Sho.  
  
It was as if he could get high on Jun’s responses alone, on whether Jun was pleased with him or not.  
  
“Since you’ve accepted, I have some rules,” Jun suddenly said, eyes darting back to his face. “I expect them to be observed for as long as we are in this arrangement.”  
  
“Of course,” Sho said. He knew what he was signing up for; he had more than just an idea how it would go.  
  
Their arrangement was starting now.  
  
“The first one is that right now, I will have your safeword. It’s absolute. Once you say it, we stop, no questions asked. We can perhaps talk about the aftermath should there be a time that you might have to say it, though I will try my best not to give you reason to.” Jun’s expression was serious now. “I know you don’t know much about me, Sho-san. Which is why as soon as you give me your safeword, you are free to ask anything about me.”  
  
Sho thought about the one thing that he hated; it was easier when a word had negative connotations to it. Something he disliked was tantamount to a hard refusal.  
  
“Cilantro,” Sho said.  
  
Jun’s eyebrow quirked. “Explain.”  
  
“I don’t like cilantro,” Sho responded.  
  
Jun let out a chuckle. “That’s funny. I don’t like it either.”  
  
“You don’t?”  
  
“The smell is irritating. Too overwhelming. It’s nothing but a disgusting grass,” Jun told him.  
  
Sho laughed, hiding most of it behind his wine glass. “I can’t stomach it.”  
  
“Very well, cilantro it is. Your question?”  
  
Sho thought about this. He licked his lips to savor the remnants of wine. “Your other rules?”  
  
Jun straightened in his seat, giving him an amused look. “You may only address me as ‘Matsumoto-san’ if you feel that I deserve it.”  
  
That surprised Sho. He frowned.  
  
Jun continued, “Which brings me to the next rule: respect is our utmost priority as well as honesty. I will respect your limits—” he waved his hand over the sheets of paper in front of him, “—in the same way you’ll respect mine. I will be honest with you with what I can and cannot do, with what I can and cannot give, and I expect you to be the same towards me.”  
  
Sho was about to nod, but there was a question threatening to spill from his mouth. He looked at Jun and tried to express it with a look.  
  
“You may ask a question or tell me whatever you have to say,” Jun said. “For future reference, you only need to ask for permission if you’re in my place on a Saturday, right in the middle of whatever it is we will be doing.”  
  
“You don’t know my name,” Sho told him.  
  
Another lift of Jun’s eyebrow. It was an intimidating look. “Your LINE information has it, _Sakurai_ Sho-san.” Jun emphasized his surname. “Unless you put in a fake one?”  
  
“No,” Sho denied immediately. He honestly didn’t remember that his LINE had his real name. Jun’s didn’t and he didn’t bother to check his. “I forgot I put in my real name in there.”  
  
“I appreciate it regardless,” Jun said. “Next rule.”  
  
Jun reached into his jacket pocket and Sho’s eyes widened at the sight of him sliding a key across the table.  
  
“That is a key to my apartment. You are to use it only when it’s a Saturday and we’ve agreed to meet. I’m expecting no cancellations unless something urgent comes up, about which I promise to inform you beforehand. Should there be a need to cancel from either of us, it must be no later than the morning of Saturday. I won’t ask for explanations so I expect you not to do it either. Whatever we had to cancel will commence on the following Saturday.”  
  
“I understand,” Sho said shakily, placing his fingers on top of the key. The metal was still warm from Jun’s touch, and Sho felt a heady rush at the idea of having something Jun owned, to be given this amount of trust on first meet.  
  
He didn’t want Jun to regret any of this.  
  
“The key is yours, then,” Jun said. “Now that that’s settled, I will have your number. While I have enjoyed our LINE conversations, I prefer texting in cases I’m in the middle of a boring meeting.”  
  
“To be less suspicious?”  
  
Jun tilted his head. “I do have a reputation I have to maintain; I can’t be seen exchanging messages on LINE unless I’m on my lunch break.”  
  
“May I borrow your pen?” Sho asked.  
  
Jun pushed both the pen and the copy of Sho’s list of kinks in Sho’s direction.  
  
Sho scribbled his number there and returned the items to Jun once more.  
  
Jun read his handwriting once. “Final rule.”  
  
Sho nodded.  
  
“We won’t communicate unless it’s about our arrangement. I won’t ask about your day unless it’s Saturday. I won’t be giving you orders unless it’s almost Saturday or it is Saturday. As we’ve agreed on, your Saturdays are mine. The rest of the week is yours. However you spend it is entirely up to you.”  
  
“I’m aware of that,” Sho said.  
  
“Then,” Jun said, offering an outstretched hand across the table, “keep me in your favor, Sakurai Sho-san.”  
  
Sho reached for Jun’s hand and gave it a firm shake, taking note of the man’s tight grip and his warm touch.  
  
“Likewise, Matsumoto Jun-san.”


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the night passed with them sharing drinks and more about themselves as they became more and more inebriated. Sho earned more of Jun’s laughs the more alcohol Jun consumed, learned more about Jun as Jun learned more about him in equal measure.  
  
They parted when it was almost five in the morning, with Sho reiterating that he was looking forward to next Saturday.  
  
Monday came, and Sho was having another lunch with Ohno, who created a latte for him with an egg-shaped creature with a man’s face on the froth.  
  
“You seem...different,” Ohno said as Sho sampled the latte with an alien design.  
  
“Different?”  
  
“Did something good happen?” Ohno’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve got a date?”  
  
What Ohno knew about Jun was superficial, that there was someone Sho was in constant communication with. The nature of their conversations was a secret, and Ohno never pried. Sho hummed in thought. “It’s not really a date.”  
  
Ohno frowned in question.  
  
“More like a fixed arrangement,” Sho said with a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
“Not saying I understand, but you look happy with it,” Ohno told him.  
  
Happy. Did he seem that way? “We haven’t actually started with the arrangement yet,” Sho said with a laugh.  
  
“Are you excited?” Ohno asked knowingly, flashing him that tiny, crooked smile.  
  
“Yes,” Sho admitted.  
  
“Then it’s something stable?”  
  
“It can be.”  
  
Ohno grinned. “Best of luck.”  
  
Sho raised his latte cup in a mock toast, returning Ohno’s smile. He proceeded to eat the rest of his lunch (it was mushroom soup with sliced white bread on the side, one of Ohno’s test creations) while browsing for news in his phone.  
  
Until it pinged with an email.  
  
Sho tapped on the notification and straightened in his seat as he read it. It was from Jun and it was a digital copy of everything they had agreed on in the bar.  
  
Along with an addendum that both parties were allowed to see other people as long as it wouldn’t compromise their schedule, a reiteration that Sho’s Saturdays were Jun’s and no one else’s.  
  
That made something warm settle in Sho’s gut.  
  
He kept scrolling until he reached the second part of the email, a draft of the scenario this coming Saturday, arranged in chronological order of events in bullet form.  
  
The first bullet indicated that Sho was to show up in Jun’s place (the address was specified) at 8 in the evening, to use his own key to enter the apartment.  
  
The rest of the instructions were as specific as always, and Sho read through each carefully.

  * _There will be slippers provided for you at the genkan. Wear the beige ones._
  * _If you’re wearing a jacket, remove it and hang it on the coat hook before you enter the apartment. Use the third one from the left in the rack._
  * _We will have dinner first before we proceed._
  * _You are not to enter my bedroom without my permission._
  * _You are not to touch me unless ordered to._
  * _You are not to kiss me unless I tell you to or unless I initiate it._
  * _You will be wearing the handcuffs I will provide as soon as we’re done with dinner._
  * _You are allowed three strikes, with the third one resulting to punishment._
  * _Your safeword applies at all times; should you see reason to use it, say so in a loud voice._
  * _When we’re done, I will bring you home with my car. Reply with your address._



The set of instructions was followed by a very short list of the items they’d be using on Saturday, and it only had handcuffs. Sho was expecting more (cock rings or vibrators or gags), but all it had was the handcuffs. He wondered about the material—were they made of metal, were they fuzzy or padded leather?  
  
He kept reading and saw that Jun wanted his response no later than Wednesday.  
  
Sho was surprised when he scrolled to the end and read the postscript: _Your hands, any time today. Do not forget._  
  
He exited the email app and set it on camera, handing his phone to Ohno who looked at it with a puzzled expression.  
  
Sho spread his palms on the table surface. “I need you to take a photo of my hands. Especially my fingertips.”  
  
Ohno got into position, but he still had that questioning look on his face. “Getting a manicure?”  
  
Sho laughed just as Ohno took the shot. Ohno handed the device back to him and he accepted it with a nod of thanks, opening up his LINE thread with Jun. “Maybe,” Sho said jokingly.  
  
He sent the photo and couldn’t help smiling when he immediately received a reply.  
  
_Are you having lunch with someone?_  
  
_With the one who makes these good lattes but does weird-looking art on the foam._  
  
Sho was certain he’d talked about Ohno to Jun several times in the past, whenever Jun had asked for photos of what he had for lunch.  
  
_I see_ , was Jun’s subsequent reply. _Work hard today._  
  
That made Sho crack a smile.  
  
“You are happy,” Ohno said from across him, making him look up. “I hope it all turns well for you.”  
  
“Thanks, Satoshi-kun,” Sho said sincerely, tucking his phone back in his pocket. “Can I have another cup?” He raised his empty cup for emphasis.  
  
Ohno stood up and made his way back to the café counter, but not before giving Sho an earnest smile.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
\--  
  
With Sho looking forward to the weekend (he had sent his agreement to Jun’s email on Tuesday night), naturally, it felt like the days leading to Saturday were dragging on purposefully. Sho kept himself preoccupied with handling database searches himself. It would be faster if he delegated some of the work to Fuma, but he wanted to accomplish each task on his own just so he wouldn’t have any idle hours to spend thinking about the weekend.  
  
On Saturday, Aiba returned to the library to request for three published research titles. That ate up most of Sho’s shift, helping Aiba find what he needed and signing photocopy forms so Aiba would have what he needed.  
  
By the time he made it out of the archives, it was three hours past noon. His phone remained silent all this time—no further reminders from Jun after he’d given his yes to the email—which meant that Jun had no further instructions.  
  
With five hours to himself, Sho opted to reread the email again and commit all the instructions to memory. There was no room for error and he wanted to surpass Jun’s expectations. They would obviously go with something light for tonight, but if Sho wanted a repeat experience, he’d have to prove that he was worth it.  
  
Was it too early for him to already want the next Saturday? He didn’t know what Jun exactly had in mind yet. And _yet_ , Sho trusted that Jun would honor his promises.  
  
Jun’s key inside the pocket of his jeans was the proof he needed regarding the trust Jun had given him.  
  
Sho’s inexperience stemmed from not dabbing into his inclinations until he felt comfortable enough. In a way, _In the Room_ had helped him address these certain needs, the ones that he would never get from any random hookup on Tinder.  
  
At 7:30, Sho took the train, flipping Jun’s key in his palm just to give himself something to do. He watched the city change through the train car’s windows, going from one station to another until he reached Toshima. According to the map on his phone, it would take him a five-minute walk to reach Jun’s apartment building.  
  
The neighborhood was busy, which coincided with Sho’s expectations since Jun did say he worked as a business consultant. Jun had given the impression of someone who lived in a fixed schedule, with work eating up most of his week and his time.  
  
It was a wonder Jun had all that time to spare during Sho’s probationary period. Either he coincidentally had a relatively free schedule that time or he was simply meticulous and dedicated.  
  
Sho walked slowly so he’d arrive on time, and when he reached the floor of Jun’s apartment, he only had a minute left till 8.  
  
At exactly 8, he inserted the key into the slot and twisted it, hearing the door unlock.  
  
And so began Sho’s first Saturday as Jun’s.  
  
\--  
  
The beige slippers were there as promised, and Sho hung his coat on the designated hook, taking note of the jacket and the scarf that were also on the rack. Jun’s apartment was spacious and clean, and Sho entered the place in quiet steps.  
  
“I hope you didn’t have trouble finding the place,” Jun said the moment Sho crossed the threshold. Jun was wearing a dress shirt without the tie, the first two buttons undone. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and he wore pinstriped slacks that showed off his thick thighs. His hair was styled, not as messy as it had been the last time they’d seen each other, but he still wore glasses.  
  
Did Jun just come home from work?  
  
“No,” Sho said, looking up at Jun’s face.  
  
“Good. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” Jun pointed to the chair on Sho’s left. “Sit.”  
  
Sho obeyed, and he watched Jun go around the kitchen island. He could hear something being stirred, the sounds of a ladle hitting a saucepan piercing the silence between them. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it made Sho’s heart race.  
  
Everything in Jun’s apartment spoke of Jun, if that made sense. Sho didn’t know much about Jun yet, but he felt as if he was seeing a side of Jun as he took in the place: the color of the curtains, the expensive leather of the sofa in the living room, the assorted pots and pans that hung in the kitchen and glinted under the light.  
  
It was a home of a bachelor with a lot of money.  
  
Sho heard the stove being turned off, and soon, Jun joined him on the dining table. He was carrying two plates of pasta, setting one in front of Sho and the other in front of his seat.  
  
“Go grab the wine and two glasses from the shelf,” Jun told him.  
  
Sho followed, returning to Jun seated and watching him.  
  
“Pour us a drink,” Jun instructed, and Sho did. Sho hoped he wasn’t trembling from anticipation; awaiting Jun’s commands felt exhilarating. It was one thing to read them in a LINE convo and another thing to hear it in person.  
  
“Take a seat,” Jun said.  
  
Sho did, and he saw Jun’s smile for the first time that night.  
  
“How was the archives today?” Jun asked, extending his palm as a gesture for Sho to eat.  
  
Sho told Jun about Aiba needing help with his research, with the patency that he was pushing for despite the deadline looming over his head. He told Jun about his superior who’d given him more work before letting him go, about the mistake in the delivery of Newsweek that he had to fix.  
  
“You are friends with this Aiba-san.” It wasn’t a question.  
  
“I am,” Sho said.  
  
“He’s not the one who makes the lattes with odd-looking creatures, is he?”  
  
Sho was happy that Jun remembered what he’d only mentioned in passing. “No. That’s Ohno-san.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
They had a light conversation after that, with Jun navigating the topics they were talking about. Jun asked about the latest variety show he’d seen on TV, his latest restaurant discoveries (if he had any), and the latest movies he’d seen.  
  
By the time they were done with dinner, Sho’s loosened up and was content with watching Jun wash the dishes.  
  
Jun rejoined him not too long after, wiping his hands with a dishcloth. He rounded the kitchen island once more, and Sho eyed what he held in his hands.  
  
Handcuffs made of padded leather.  
  
“Stand,” Jun told him, and he did. “I want you to strip down to your underwear.”  
  
Sho’s hands moved to the hem of his shirt, but Jun’s sudden “Ah, ah,” halted his movements.  
  
Jun had a finger raised in warning. “I didn’t tell you how to do it yet.” His eyes narrowed. “Strike one. You’ve only got three.” Jun approached him but maintained a respectable distance between them. “Start with the jeans. Unbuckle your belt slowly, unbutton your jeans and unzip them, let them fall to the floor. When they do, pick them up and fold them neatly, and leave them on the chair you just rose up from.”  
  
The series of complex commands had Sho moving carefully; he didn’t want to make a mistake.  
  
He did as he was told to, standing in Jun’s dining room with his shirt and underwear on. Cool air hit his legs and he struggled not to tremble in place.  
  
“The shirt next, but do it slowly. Left arm out before the right and fold the shirt as well as soon as you have it off.”  
  
Just following these commands was enough to make Sho’s blood head south, and he could feel himself stirring. He shifted a bit; his boxers felt a little tighter than it had been a while ago.  
  
When he faced Jun once more, he saw Jun looking at him from head to foot.  
  
“Stretch your arms behind you.”  
  
Sho did, and his breathing turned heavier as Jun circled him, examined him.  
  
“Very good,” Jun said, and Sho bit his bottom lip in response. He felt Jun attach the cuffs to his wrists, clasping them shut before Jun’s fingers ran up the sides of his forearms, tracing his elbows and making him gasp.  
  
If Jun heard it, he gave no indication.  
  
Sho was guided to the couch, and Jun stopped him with another raised finger. He remained there, standing in front of the sofa as Jun took a seat, spreading his legs.  
  
Sho felt warmer the longer Jun stared up at him without saying anything. He was beginning to redden, feeling self-conscious at being openly ogled.  
  
“That mark on your navel, what’s it from?” Jun asked, and there was no mistaking the husk in his voice.  
  
“Piercing,” Sho answered.  
  
“From when?”  
  
“When I was eighteen.”  
  
“And you took it out because?”  
  
“I got over that phase.”  
  
Jun snorted in laughter, smirking at him. “Interesting.” Jun patted his thigh. “Come sit on my lap. Facing me.”  
  
Sho exhaled in a rush, eyeing Jun’s thick thighs. He did as he was told, placing one knee on the couch followed by another, gradually lowering himself until he was straddling Jun. His erection was pressing right against Jun’s thigh, but he couldn’t feel any of Jun’s hands on his person.  
  
“You’ve been good at following everything I asked of you so far,” Jun told him, and he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering as the words hit him. “Aside from that display of impatience earlier, everything else is satisfactory.”  
  
Jun ran his knuckles against Sho’s cheek, and Sho leaned into his touch on instinct. Jun sounded pleased with him, his eyes mostly black when Sho met his eyes.  
  
“You’re doing good,” Jun told him, and he let out a breath.  
  
Jun began tracing his jaw, grasping his chin to bare his neck. Jun leaned forward and Sho stilled, but instead of feeling Jun’s lips, he felt Jun’s breath ghosting over his flesh.  
  
“You smell good,” Jun said. Sho tried to ignore the pang of disappointment at not feeling Jun’s mouth on his skin. Maybe he didn’t earn that privilege yet.  
  
Jun grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled lightly, but enough to make him gasp in surprise. With Jun’s ringed hand, he followed the curve of Sho’s mouth, lingering on Sho’s bottom lip.  
  
“Do you use lip creams?”  
  
Sho nodded.  
  
“I can’t hear you.” Jun was still tracing the shape of his lips, pressing lightly.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“I want you to continue using them.” There was the unmistakable satisfaction in Jun’s voice, as if he allowed himself to be sufficiently transparent for Sho to gauge his genuine pleasure. “Say you understand.”  
  
“I understand,” Sho said against Jun’s fingers.  
  
“Suck,” Jun suddenly ordered, and Sho opened his mouth obediently, allowing Jun to shove two of his fingers inside his mouth. He couldn’t help moaning around the fingers, the metal of Jun’s studded ring giving the inside of his mouth a rough and foreign sensation, but not an unpleasant one.  
  
He sucked Jun’s fingers up to the knuckle, gasping by the time Jun pulled his fingers free. Threads of his saliva clung to Jun’s fingertips, and Jun ran his fingers down Sho’s chin to his collarbones, leaving a damp trail that soon turned cold when the air inside the room touched Sho’s skin.  
  
Sho shivered.  
  
He struggled to maintain his balance on top of Jun, putting his weight on his knees so he wouldn’t topple over. Jun kept scattering fleeting touches of cold on the skin of his neck, making him tremble, and by the time Jun took his fingers away, Sho’s thighs were shaking in an effort to keep himself up.  
  
Jun hadn’t done much to him yet, but he was already hard, his cock swelling inside his boxers and making it uncomfortable. He shifted, moaning a bit at the friction.  
  
“Open your eyes,” Jun said, his voice coaxing and gentle. “Look at me.”  
  
Sho did, finding Jun looking at him in combined lust and elation, and a pleased sigh escaped from him as a result.  
  
“Tell me what you want.”  
  
Sho’s cock twitched in its confines. “I want…” he tried, lowering his head as he felt himself redden all over. “I want to come.”  
  
Jun clucked his tongue and Sho lifted his head immediately. “ _Look at me_ ,” Jun ordered, his tone changing. “I will not repeat myself again.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sho said immediately.  
  
“Are you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Jun’s eyes glinted, the angle of lips curving to one side. “Prove it.” Jun leaned back, his body hitting the backrest of the couch. “Show me how sorry you are, and maybe I’ll let you come.”  
  
Sho knelt there, motionless on Jun’s lap, keeping his eyes on Jun’s.  
  
“Are you sorry?” Jun asked once more.  
  
“Yes,” Sho replied softly.  
  
“Do you want to come?”  
  
“Yes, but—”  
  
Jun’s eyebrow arched. “But?”  
  
“But only if you’ll let me,” Sho continued, thighs shaking in an effort not to roll his hips.  
  
“Beg me,” Jun said, examining his cuticles. “If you want to come, beg me.”  
  
“Please,” Sho muttered quietly, but it ended in a hiss when Jun shifted in his seat, his thigh grazing Sho’s erection. “Please, please.”  
  
Jun’s eyes widened fractionally, his mouth parting slightly. “Very well.” Jun straightened, and Sho pursed his lips in a quiet moan when Jun’s thigh rubbed against his crotch once more. “Make yourself come.”  
  
Sho’s breath stopped, his eyes growing wide. Jun was watching him now, head tilted to the side. Jun’s hands were nowhere near Sho, instead spread on the top of the backrest like he didn’t have a man straddling him and was instead enjoying a baseball rerun on the TV.  
  
Sho weighed his options. He wasn’t gagged, and if this was too humiliating for him, he could utter cilantro and they would stop. Jun would take him home as per agreement, and perhaps they’d talk about tonight the following morning.  
  
But he didn’t want to say cilantro.  
  
He wanted to come.  
  
Sho shifted, adjusting his knees on either side of Jun so he could lower himself further, could have his cock that was straining in his boxers touch Jun’s thigh. He hissed through clenched teeth when his clothed crotch made contact, and he closed his eyes as he tried to steady his breathing in order to get to it.  
  
He moved.  
  
He began with small pistons of his hips, biting his bottom lip. The friction felt good but was inadequate, and he thrusted faster now, rubbing himself on Jun’s thigh as far as his hips could go while maintaining his precious balance.  
  
“Does that feel good?” Jun’s voice pierced through his haze like an arrow shot through the air, and Sho couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped from him.  
  
“Yes,” he gasped.  
  
“Look at you,” Jun said as Sho continued moving, faster now since his precome started soaking the material of his boxers, making it easier to rub himself against Jun. “So desperate for it. So needy.”  
  
He was—Sho really was. His entire body quaked, Jun’s words feeling like liquid fire coursing through his veins, sweltering his insides.  
  
“If someone can see you like this, do you know what they’ll say?”  
  
Sho shook his head, movements turning erratic. The friction was too good, too good—  
  
“They’ll call you a slut,” Jun said, and Sho felt his heart in his throat.  
  
He shook his head fiercely, in denial. “I’m not a slut.”  
  
Somehow, despite his haze, he could hear Jun’s smile. “Of course not. Do you know what you are? What you really are right now?”  
  
Sho shook his head once more, gasping. He was close, so close, just a bit more—  
  
“You’re a good boy.”  
  
Sho let out a groan, undoubtedly audible in the silence of Jun’s apartment.  
  
“And like a good boy, you’re going to come for me.”  
  
That spurred Sho into snapping his hips, pressing his erection shamelessly against Jun’s thigh, not caring anymore how he must look. He wanted to come, he needed to come. Jun wanted him to come, and he had to.  
  
He was Jun’s.  
  
“Come, Sho. Come for me.”  
  
And Sho did, shuddering as his orgasm washed over him, the insides of his thighs tingling. He’d never come like this before, just from words alone combined with the knowledge that someone was watching him, someone was waiting for him to come. None of his orgasms felt as intense as this, and he found himself not caring about how out of it he must look.  
  
Sho eventually lost his balance on top of Jun, but he felt a hand press right on the small of his back and push him forward, his body collapsing against Jun’s form. He found himself catching his breath against Jun’s neck when he could open his eyes.  
  
This close, he could smell Jun’s cologne with the hints of sweat, proof that he’d been wearing the cologne for the entire day now. This close, all Sho would have to do was to tilt his head and he could kiss Jun, but he remembered the rules.  
  
He felt fingers tangling in his hair and combing the wet strands. Soon, Jun was massaging his scalp, helping him descend from his high, and Sho resisted the urge to hum in satisfaction.  
  
“Good boy,” Jun said in between his soothing touches.  
  
Sho buried his face against Jun’s chest, basking in the contentment just for a little while.  
  
\--  
  
After, when Sho started to feel his knees aching and legs numbing, Jun guided him to a sitting position and unlocked the cuffs.  
  
He watched as Jun examined his wrists, Jun’s touch shifting from front to back, fingers gliding over slightly reddened skin. There were marks left by the padding around the bony area of Sho’s wrists, but he was confident they’d fade away come morning.  
  
Jun’s touch moved to his knees, and Jun gave him a questioning look. “Does it hurt?”  
  
“It’ll pass,” Sho said, knowing it to be true.  
  
Still, he was surprised when Jun began massaging the back of his legs. “Still numb?”  
  
“A little,” he replied honestly. He could feel Jun’s touch in increments, and he sat there, allowing Jun to knead on the muscles until he felt he could stand on his feet once more.  
  
“Take a shower. You can use the spare towels in the bathroom,” Jun said, standing. Sho didn’t miss the damp spot on Jun’s slacks, one that mirrored the one on Sho’s boxers.  
  
He had done that. He had been the one who left that on Jun as per Jun’s orders.  
  
Sho bit his lip to keep himself from smiling.  
  
His underwear was sticking to him uncomfortably as he walked, but before he could get the bathroom door closed, there was Jun extending a hand from outside the door.  
  
“Off,” Jun said, eyeing his boxers with distaste. “You are not wearing that.”  
  
Sho began removing them, but he stopped just before handing them over. Jun eyed his lower half unabashedly, making him blush.  
  
“I—” he tried, remembering that he’d brought nothing with him when he’d left his house. He was thinking of washing his boxers so he’d at least have something. “I didn’t bring any extra.”  
  
“I know,” Jun said, still with his fingers extended. “Go without.”  
  
Sho’s cheeks felt warm at that, hand tightening to a fist around his boxers.  
  
Jun smiled. “We’re going to Donki before I drive you home. You can’t use those anymore.”  
  
“I’ll wash them,” Sho said instead.  
  
“Are you attached to that underwear?” Jun asked, eyebrow quirking.  
  
It was one of Sho’s favorites. He called it one of his lucky ones, too. “This one’s been with me for a long time.”  
  
Jun sighed. “Fine, have it your way. But we’re still going to Donki before I take you home. And you’re still going without once you’re done with your shower.”  
  
Sho blinked, swallowing a lump in his throat.  
  
“It’s still Saturday,” Jun added as a reminder.  
  
Sho nodded, and finally, Jun let him have his shower.  
  
For some unknown reason, using Jun’s soap and shampoo felt as intimate as Jun watching him hump Jun’s thigh. Sho didn’t miss that Jun had an erection of his own by the time he’d come down from his high and the world had seemed normal again, and he wondered what Jun would do about it.  
  
He wasn’t instructed to lend a hand.  
  
He cleaned up, somehow thankful that he had a really good orgasm and couldn’t get hard again so soon. He didn’t have to jack off in Jun’s bathroom, but he was positive that what had happened tonight would keep his imagination ongoing for the next few days.  
  
Until the next Saturday.  
  
When he was done, he wiped himself off with a towel. Sho looked around his surroundings, getting rid of the hair he’d left on the drain (it might anger Jun—the bathroom had been spotless before he’d used it) and taking care not to leave puddles on the floor.  
  
He trudged back to the living room to find Jun in a t-shirt that was a size too small for him, his broad shoulders and muscular chest prominent under the material—a proof that he was working out regularly. Jun was wearing jeans, and he was leaning against the kitchen island, looking at Sho from head to foot.  
  
Sho only had the towel around his waist. His clothes, the ones which he’d folded neatly, were still on the chair he’d sat on when they’d had their dinner.  
  
He grabbed his clothes and spun on his heel to head to the bathroom, but Jun’s voice stopped him.  
  
“Get dressed here.”  
  
Sho faced Jun’s direction, placed his clothes on top of the table, and stood there.  
  
Waiting.  
  
Jun smiled, one that reached his eyes.  
  
“Start with the pants. Right leg first before the left, and when it’s up to your thighs, turn around and show me your back.”  
  
Sho obeyed, giving Jun a view of his bare ass as he took care not to have the zipper touch his cock. When he was done, he waited for the next set of instructions.  
  
“Don’t bother with the belt,” Jun said, his voice low and sending pleasurable spikes up Sho’s spine. He wondered if Jun’s voice would always have that effect on him. “The shirt, and start with the left arm followed by the right. Then face me.”  
  
He did as he was told, and when he turned, he found Jun eyeing the way his pants barely clung to him, revealing his hipbones and the fact that he wore no underwear.  
  
Jun dragged his eyes away from Sho to check his watch. “A little over eleven.” Jun began making his way out of the apartment. “Shall we?”  
  
Sho followed Jun to the parking lot, and he had to laugh when he saw that Jun drove a BMW.  
  
“Not what you expected?” Jun asked once they were inside as he was turning the car on.  
  
“Exactly what I expected,” Sho said.  
  
Jun connected his phone to the speakers and they spent the drive in silence, The Beatles’ Hey Jude playing in the background.  
  
When they reached Donki, Jun led him straight to the clothing department, taking a pick of the boxers while glancing at Sho’s low jeans every now and then.  
  
In the end, Jun settled for three pairs of boxers: white, gray, and red. He asked for Sho’s size wordlessly, raising the item between them as Sho gave a nod or shook his head.  
  
Sho noticed that they were bright and light colors, and when Jun handed over the items to him after paying for them, he could confidently say he was expecting what Jun was about to say.  
  
“I want you to wear those the next time we see each other,” Jun said on the way back to his car.  
  
“May I ask why?” It was still Saturday, and he needed still needed Jun’s permission.  
  
“You were wearing black earlier,” Jun told him as they reached the road, now on the way to Sho’s apartment. Jun had asked for his address beforehand, and Sho noticed him using a navigation app to point him to the right direction. “Black’s good, I’d say it even makes you look sexy, but it didn’t give me much of what I wanted to see.”  
  
Jun stole a glance in his direction, meeting his eyes briefly before turning back to the road. “So wear those next time.”  
  
“Understood.”  
  
The rest of the drive was silent, with Sho humming to The Beatles’ every now and then. He had the purchased boxers on his lap, right on top of his jacket. By the time they reached his place, it was nearly midnight and their time was almost over.  
  
Jun unlocked the doors just as Sho unfastened his seatbelt. “Good night, Sho-san.”  
  
Sho opened the doors and inclined his head. “Good night,” he said, meeting Jun’s gaze, “Matsumoto-san.”  
  
He shut the door behind him after, not looking back, but he could swear he felt eyes watching him as he entered his apartment building.  
  
Just before Sho went to bed (he was sufficiently exhausted and feeling sleepy), he made sure to send Jun a message in their LINE thread.  
  
_Thank you for tonight._  
  
The reply came minutes later, after Sho had just finished brushing his teeth and changing into his pajamas. _You’re welcome._  
  
_I look forward to next Saturday._  
  
Sho placed his phone on the nightstand and succumbed to sleep.  
  
\--  
  
Sho woke up to a reply from Jun that had mirrored his desires. _I look forward to Saturday, too._ The relief and happiness washed over Sho in waves. If Jun wanted to see him, it meant that he did good the night before.  
  
Jun’s words became the only validation that mattered as their arrangement continued. The Saturday of that week was almost a repeat of the first one, except that Jun had touched him through the material of his boxers, and Sho came at the feel of his erection trapped between Jun’s thigh and the heel of Jun’s palm. The Saturday after that had Sho arranging Jun’s bookshelf according to library specifications.  
  
It was an odd request, but when he was done, Jun’s slacks had a noticeable tent that Sho couldn’t look away from. Jun’s service kink, how could he forget?  
  
That night, after he’d straddled Jun’s lap as per Jun’s orders, he was commanded to rub himself against Jun’s erection with his cuffed wrists resting on Jun’s nape, his arms around Jun’s neck. It marked the first time Sho witnessed Jun unravel before him—Jun’s eyes sliding shut, his mouth parted as a groan escaped from him, a husky rush of breath that fanned Sho’s face.  
  
Jun made him come half a minute later by showering him with praises for his efforts, and they stayed there, sticky and sweaty but not claustrophobic.  
  
Saturdays had Sho creating a routine according to his strict way of scheduling things. He’d board the train thirty minutes before Jun’s appointed time, and as soon as he had Jun’s key inserted in the keyhole, he became Jun’s.  
  
It was easy to adapt to, surprisingly.  
  
They were in their fifth month of their arrangement when Jun had to cancel for the first time.  
  
The cancellation happened days after Sho had sent his reply regarding the emailed scenario, and the rush of disappointment in Sho was something he couldn’t ignore.  
  
_I have to attend a company function. I wasn’t informed beforehand, and I’m sorry._  
  
Jun had sent the message in their LINE thread, another proof of its abruptness. Jun always opted for an email before Saturday, or at least before their scheduled meetup.  
  
Sho wanted to say it was all right, but it felt insincere. Wasn’t honesty the foundation of their arrangement? He was disappointed, and he wanted to Jun to know.  
  
_So you’re still at work?_ was what he chose to send instead.  
  
_No. I’m still at home. I have to leave soon though. Why?_  
  
Something inside Sho was telling him what he thought of was perhaps a bad idea, that he was likely pushing against the boundaries, but he couldn’t help himself.  
  
_Can’t I come with you?_  
  
Jun’s reply was immediate: _Why?_  
  
Sho shot a glance at the door of his fridge, at the reminder he’d stuck there. _Because I’m visiting my relatives next weekend. In Gunma. I won’t be able to meet you._  
  
_How long will you be in Gunma?_  
  
_Just next weekend. But I can’t be sure; I haven’t seen my aunts and uncles from there in so long that they might ask me to come back._  
  
It was true—it was why Sho was rather upset by tonight not working according to his plans. He wanted to spend tonight with Jun in Jun’s apartment, then tell Jun personally that he wouldn’t be able to commit for the following Saturday.  
  
_It’s exactly 7 right now_ , was Jun’s next message, and Sho didn’t dare hope, but he held his breath anyway as he waited for what else Jun had to say.  
  
_Be here in thirty minutes. Use your key._  
  
Sho hurriedly grabbed his jacket and moved to leave, barely registering the train ride and the walk to Jun’s apartment. He paced his steps evenly after checking his watch, and on exactly 7:30, he was able to insert the key into the slot.  
  
Jun’s email for this week had instructed Sho to wear the same slippers as the last time and that they’d be watching a movie while having dinner.  
  
Sho found Jun waiting at the genkan, sitting at the step and looking up at him. Jun was in his suit, though his jacket still hung from the rack. He had his phone in his hands, and he let out a breath after silence had lingered between them.  
  
“The party starts at eight,” Jun told him. Sho remained where he was, his back nearly pressed against the door. “Do you remember what we were supposed to do tonight?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho answered with a nod.  
  
“Minus the movie, the dinner, and that we’d be doing it here, what else is left?”  
  
Sho licked his lips. “The gag.” Tonight was supposedly the first time Jun would gag him, but Sho didn’t know if Jun would push through with it. He didn’t know what was about to happen with the abrupt change of venues.  
  
Jun stood and grabbed his jacket, shrugging it on. “The scenario changes, then. You’re here and it’s Saturday, so the same rules still apply. However, as soon as I’m done talking, we’ll head to the parking lot and I’ll drive us to the building. We will attend that party.” Jun studied his face. “Any questions?”  
  
“We?” Sho repeated.  
  
Jun gave a stiff nod. “Yes. We. You wanted to come with me so you are going to. Does that make you happy?”  
  
“Yes. May I ask another question?”  
  
Jun only tilted his head in acceptance.  
  
“Are you allowed to bring someone with you to this party?”  
  
“Technically, I am not,” Jun said with a smile. “Come. I’ll show you when we get to the car.”  
  
Sho followed, and as soon as they reached the vehicle and Jun had the doors unlocked, he saw it on the backseat. It was a mascot costume, of an icon he assumed to be connected with one of the companies Jun was advising.  
  
He gave Jun a look. “I said no to crossdressing.”  
  
“It’s a bird,” Jun told him, grabbing the mascot head. It was indeed a bird with sky blue feathers, a ship captain’s hat on top of its head. It sported a happy smile and its eyes were thick slits. “It’s not crossdressing.”  
  
“I’m supposed to wear that?” Sho asked. He was aware he didn’t ask Jun for permission, but he couldn’t help it. He’d be a mascot for tonight? It wasn’t how he’d envisioned attending a party with Jun would be like.  
  
“I’m supposed to find someone who can wear that,” Jun said, inclining his head as a gesture for Sho to get in the car. Sho did, fastening his seatbelt. “I know we didn’t discuss this.”  
  
“It’s Saturday,” Sho said as a reminder, his voice coming out with conviction. Despite his earlier outbursts, wearing a costume as fluffy as the one in the backseat didn’t sound so bad.  
  
He heard Jun exhale. The next time Jun spoke, his tone switched from conversational to commanding. “Wear that when we get there.”  
  
“I understand,” Sho said, and Jun started the car.  
  
The drive was mostly silent, save for the random songs on the radio. The streets leading to Shinjuku were illuminated and populated; the night was young. The location of Jun’s workplace remained a mystery until now, and Sho took in what he could.  
  
Jun had his own designated parking space under a tall building amidst a couple more buildings. Jun turned off the car but didn’t unlock the doors yet, and he turned to study Sho’s face.  
  
“This party is until midnight,” Jun told him. “If you want to go home, tell me. I’m allowing that tonight, on account of this being a spontaneous meetup. But I’m only allowed to leave once the clients I presently work for have left, so I can’t make any promises.”  
  
Sho gave a nod. “I understand.”  
  
Jun unlocked the doors. “Go grab the costume and wait for me outside.”  
  
Sho obeyed, and they took an elevator ride up to the twelfth floor of the building. Jun led him to the back entrance of an event hall that led to a narrow corridor. They crossed paths with waiters and waitresses, and a few feet ahead, Sho could hear loud music and bass booming.  
  
“This way,” Jun said, and they entered what seemed to be a janitor’s closet.  
  
Sho deposited the costume on the nearby table and faced Jun, awaiting further instructions. The room was small and cramped, lined with shelves containing tools and rags, and the floor had stacks of pails and a few mopheads.  
  
The space was not even much of a space, giving Sho very little room to work with.  
  
“Get dressed. Lose the jacket and the jeans, but keep your shirt and boxers on.”  
  
Sho did as he was told, and as he was unbuckling his belt, Jun spoke again. “As the client’s mascot, you just have to pose for photos. If you’re hungry, tell me.”  
  
Jun fished for something in his pocket, and Sho saw a piece of cilantro inside a tiny ziplock. His eyes widened; his safeword was right in Jun’s hands, but what did that mean?  
  
“I’m putting this here,” Jun told him, inserting the small plastic inside the breast pocket of his suit. “If you need to use your safeword, tap this once. If you’re hungry or thirsty, tap it twice. Do you understand?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho said. He had lower half of the fluffy bird costume on and was in the middle of zipping up the top part.  
  
Jun crossed the distance between them and batted Sho’s hands away, undoing the zipper before pulling it up once more. This close, Sho could smell Jun’s aftershave. “Do you remember what’s left in the email I sent you after we did away with all the things we couldn’t do according to plan?”  
  
Sho’s heart leapt in his throat. “The gag.”  
  
As soon as he said it, Jun pulled out a modestly-sized ball gag from his jacket pocket. The red ball shone under the light, and Sho’s breath hitched at the sight of it.  
  
He wore the red boxers today, and it was like the gag was the finishing touch to how he’d end up looking tonight.  
  
Jun wordlessly held the gag in front of his face, and Sho licked his lips once, twice.  
  
He closed his eyes as he let his jaw relax, but he didn’t miss Jun’s sharp intake of breath.  
  
Jun strapped the gag on him, fastening it behind his head and taking care not to snug any of his hair. Jun cupped his chin after, tilting his head side-to-side, as if appraising how he looked. Sho opened his eyes and found Jun’s with pupils fat, eyes staring at him intently. He was unable to keep himself from shivering when Jun thumbed at his cheekbone.  
  
“You look perfect,” Jun told him. “Perfect, and just for me.”  
  
Jun grabbed the mascot’s headpiece from the table, and at Sho’s reassuring nod, put in place.  
  
Clad in a stuffy costume and wearing a gag that came from Jun’s personal collection, Sho did a mental count to calm his breathing. It was only eight in the evening and he had to make it through hours of his jaw going slack.  
  
“You will drool and make a mess,” Jun said, as if reading his mind. Jun placed a hand over his heart where Sho’s safeword was. “This applies at all times.”  
  
Sho could only nod, the gigantic head of the colorful and happy bird moving accordingly. Any attempt to speak would make him drool soon, and he knew he was bound to be uncomfortable to please Jun.  
  
But seeing Jun so pleased with him, hearing Jun say that he was perfect, it felt...exhilarating. Sho wanted to prove himself, to do better than the last time.  
  
“Come,” Jun said, leading him out. “It’s time to socialize.”  
  
The function hall wasn’t as spacious as Sho had expected, but it still housed more than thirty people to Sho’s estimate. Most were still seated, but one of them rose from their chair to greet Jun as soon as Jun entered the hall.  
  
“J!” the person said. He seemed to be a little younger than Sho, his smile wide and charming, highlighting his youthful features. “You sounded so pissed on the phone earlier, I was thinking you couldn’t make it.”  
  
“I can’t leave our clients in your hands, Nino,” Jun answered, and Sho was seeing a side of Jun that existed beyond their arrangement. A change of venue showed a different aspect of Jun, one that Sho had never met before. “They might change their minds after.”  
  
Nino laughed, and Sho tried not to jump in place when Nino wrapped an arm around him despite being shorter than him. “Honestly, we thought you’d just send the mascot over.”  
  
Jun’s eyes flitted to Sho’s, just beyond the fabric that covered the bird’s eyes. “You forget how much I like these things.”  
  
“Ah true,” Nino said with a laugh before projecting his toothy smile at Sho. “Did he try to jump you before this? Our J likes to jump mascots because he loves them.”  
  
Sho couldn’t respond; the gag was preventing him to. He casted a glance in Jun’s direction and gave a tiny shake of his head as an answer.  
  
Nino clapped his back. “Well, it’ll only be a matter of time. When the guests are gone, maybe.”  
  
Somehow, a part of Sho knew that to be true.  
  
Jun delivered a light slap on Nino’s arm. “Don’t keep him from his work.” To Sho, he only gave a brief nod before turning back to Nino. “Now tell me, who arranged for this and didn’t inform me earlier?”  
  
Sho heard nothing else after; he walked away as per instructions. Some of the guests stopped him for photos, and Sho was eventually handed a couple of balloons by the event organizer. He handed some to two American children who ran off as soon as they’d gotten the color they’d preferred from the bunch Sho was holding.  
  
His attention was grabbed when Nino from earlier spoke on the microphone and cracked some jokes that made the audience laugh before he called for his “partner Matsumoto Jun, who is the spirit of what we stand for”.  
  
Sho didn’t miss Jun rolling his eyes at the introduction, but he inclined his head graciously at the applause.  
  
Jun commanded presence with each perfectly paced stride, his hair now swept back. He must’ve fixed it as soon as Sho turned to his mascot duties, and Sho found himself staring as Jun began reading a short speech. Jun wasn’t looking at any of the index cards in his hands; he was merely holding them and was focusing on the audience.  
  
“I wasn’t informed that this was happening tonight,” Jun was saying, “and I’ve already made plans.”  
  
“And that made you cranky,” Nino answered loudly, earning a few laughs.  
  
“Indeed,” Jun agreed. “Yet, here I am anyway. As a business advisor…”  
  
A young mother carrying a baby stood in Sho’s view, and Sho’s attention shifted to her.  
  
“May I have a photo?” she asked with a smile.  
  
Sho choked on his yes, and he felt himself drooling a little. He gave a nod instead, and the baby was passed on to his hands. He cradled the bundle (he couldn’t fathom why anyone would bring a baby this young to an event for people with money, but who was he to judge?) close to his chest and posed for a photo.  
  
The flush creeping up his body was hard to suppress with each photo request, which seemed to come one after another when the guests noticed him adequate to hold an infant and not have the child cry in his arms. With each photo taken, Sho was filled with an odd sort of pride, that no one knew what he wore underneath, that under the costume, he was Jun’s.  
  
Jun, who was sweet-talking the audience and mingling with ease, charming one important guest after another. Every time Sho’s jaw ached, he’d steal a glance in Jun’s direction, and he’d be overcome with the desire to prove himself once more. He was salivating and sweating under the costume but he held his ground, giving out balloons and posing appropriately for photos.  
  
Soon the guests were all invited to eat, and after Sho’s last photo with two Chinese businessmen, he saw Jun approaching him.  
  
“Come with me to the back,” Jun said, and Sho trudged after him. The guests were queueing for the buffet tables, and it was easy to get unnoticed as he and Jun disappeared once more inside the janitor’s closet.  
  
Jun was tugging the headpiece off him as soon as they had the door shut, and Sho was ordered to sit on the table.  
  
Jun reached behind him and unclasped the gag, and Sho gasped as he snapped his jaw shut.  
  
“Tilt your head back,” Jun ordered, and Sho did, his eyes widening a bit when he felt Jun press a piece of scented wet wipes under his chin, wiping away the glistening tracks left by his saliva. “Are you hungry?”  
  
Sho reached up and tapped Jun’s breast pocket twice.  
  
Jun smiled. “I thought so.” He was using another wipe to clean Sho’s face, the material now placed over Sho’s forehead as Jun removed trails of his sweat. “Look behind you.”  
  
Sho did, and he saw that the table he was sitting on already had a platter of food. His stomach growled, and he looked down in embarrassment.  
  
Jun laughed. “Hand that over to me.”  
  
Sho picked up the platter and placed it in Jun’s waiting hands. The used wet wipes were now crumpled at Sho’s feet, and Sho watched Jun pick up a piece of clubhouse sandwich sliced in bite-sized pieces.  
  
Jun’s hand hovered over his lips and Sho parted his mouth in obedience, allowing Jun to feed him. He felt pampered with each bite Jun pressed against his lips, and soon, when he finished nearly everything in the platter, he was sucking on Jun’s fingers to clean off the traces of oil and sauce that clung to the tips.  
  
“Eager,” Jun commented, but he wasn’t pulling his hand away, instead letting Sho suck one finger at a time, until Sho reached his thumb. “Thirsty?”  
  
Sho tapped on Jun’s breast pocket twice.  
  
Jun reached inside his slacks, pulling out a small bottle of water. Instead of using both hands to open it, however, Jun bit on the cap and twisted the bottle to have it off, not taking his other hand away from Sho’s mouth.  
  
The bottle was soon tipped against Sho’s lips and he drank greedily, seeking to rehydrate himself after hours of doing his best.  
  
When the bottle was now an empty, crushed piece of plastic in Jun’s hand, Jun studied his face.  
  
“Want to go home?”  
  
At that, Sho shook his head. He still had Jun’s thumb between his lips, and when he felt pressure, he opened his mouth obediently, Jun’s thumb resting right over his bottom teeth.  
  
“Only I get to see you like this,” Jun said, and there was pride in his tone. He started to trace Sho’s lips.  
  
Jun stepped away from him, and Sho saw him holding the gag by one of its straps. “There are still two hours and a half to go,” Jun said, checking his watch.  
  
“I know,” Sho said, speaking for the first time, and his voice came out hoarse.  
  
“You will go back there and entertain the guests,” Jun said.  
  
“I will,” Sho affirmed.  
  
Jun moved to leave the closet, but not before telling Sho that he’d be right back. He took the empty platter of food with him as well as the used wipes, and Sho remained there, waiting. He massaged his jaw a bit, opening his mouth every now and then to exercise the muscles.  
  
When Jun returned, Sho was more or less ready. Jun raised the gag between them and it looked clean, like Jun had left to sanitize it again. How, Sho didn’t know, but he found that he didn’t care.  
  
As soon as Jun stepped in his space, he let his jaw go slack, allowing Jun to strap the gag once more. Unlike the last time, Sho was now used to how big it forced his mouth to open, and he knew he’d last longer.  
  
When the gag was fastened securely, Jun’s hands cupped his face and he couldn’t help leaning to the touch, at the affection Jun was showering him with. He was hungry for it, too desperate that he let out a tiny moan once Jun began stroking his cheekbones.  
  
“You’re doing very well so far,” Jun said, and there was admiration in his tone. “I will have to reward you if you do really good.”  
  
Sho let out another low moan, one that got cut short when one of Jun’s hands strayed lower and cupped him despite the thick material of the costume. He was hard, had been that way since Jun had started to feed him, and it was taking all of his concentration not to thrust against Jun’s hand.  
  
“Is this for me?” Jun asked, squeezing for emphasis.  
  
Sho nodded, eyes drifting shut.  
  
“Can’t hear you.”  
  
“Yes,” Sho slurred, feeling himself drool. His hands were fisted inside the wings of the damn bird mascot, but he kept them at his sides, using them as anchor while Jun continued palming him.  
  
“Who owns this?” Jun asked, and Sho received another squeeze.  
  
Sho shivered as he breathed out his answer: “You. Jun.” It came out garbled and incomprehensible to Sho’s own ears, but he saw the shift in Jun’s eyes.  
  
Jun leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “You don’t come until I tell you.”  
  
Sho gave a quick nod.  
  
“You don’t come unless it’s by my hand.”  
  
Another nod.  
  
“No one else can see you like this,” Jun hissed, and Sho moaned as Jun squeezed his erection again. “This is all for me.”  
  
Another nod, and he groaned at the loss of contact when Jun extracted himself away. Jun was breathing hard, his pupils dark—Sho wasn’t the only one affected. Sho allowed his sight to stray down, seeing Jun having an erection of his own.  
  
Jun checked his watch, running a hand through his hair to sweep it back into place. “Come,” he said, his tone conversational despite the tent in his trousers. “Wear the headpiece. The party’s waiting.”  
  
Sho shakily did as he was told, and he was once more guided outside, the janitor’s closet bearing no evidence of his earlier encounter with Jun.  
  
\--  
  
The succeeding hours felt like torture, with Sho wanting to count down to the second until he’d get relief. His erection had subsided, but he became hyperaware of Jun’s stare on him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand despite Jun being on the other side of the room.  
  
He felt his every movement observed, even if Jun was being discreet about it. They reached the hour in which most of the guests began to head home, and Sho’s thoughts drifted back to what had occurred in the janitor’s closet.  
  
He was sweating profusely in the costume, feeling too hot under it. And yet he maintained his stance, giving polite bows and waving his hands at children who waved goodbye, handing over some of the leftover balloons to older kids.  
  
The hall was almost empty with only the catering staff shuffling about and tidying up. Sho could hear Jun’s hearty laughter from the other side of the hall and he willed himself not to turn. He shivered under the costume; his drool had finally reached his chest, and he knew his shirt was soaked in sweat and spit. He felt disgusting, and yet, he didn’t take a step to approach Jun to tap on Jun’s breast pocket.  
  
Sho felt a soft punch on his arm, coaxing him from his thoughts, and he met Nino’s eyes.  
  
“Thanks for your hard work,” Nino said with a tiny smile. “Whoever you are. J wouldn’t tell me what company you were from. He knows I’d tease him about his mascot contacts.”  
  
Jun’s words echoed in Sho’s head: no one else would get to see Sho like this.  
  
Sho simply inclined his head in response, hoping it would deter Nino away.  
  
Nino clapped him on the shoulder once, flashing him a two-fingered salute. “Speaking of the devil.” Nino was looking past Sho’s shoulder, and Sho didn’t have to turn to know that Jun was there.  
  
“Did Nino tell you about my appreciation for mascots? Again?” Jun asked, giving Nino a disapproving look.  
  
Sho only managed a minute shake of his head.  
  
“It’s late,” Nino said, glancing at his watch. “Thanks for showing up tonight, J. I was worried you’d leave me alone to handle the Americans.”  
  
“You weren’t worried about the Americans,” Jun said with a snort. “You were worried about the Chinese because they kept inviting you to visit Hong Kong for your next vacation.”  
  
“I’m a stay-cation type of person,” Nino replied with a wink. “I want long days with my bed. So I’m leaving now; I think I haven’t seen my bed for too long.” Nino gave them a tiny bow. “Take care on the way home.”  
  
Jun waved his hand in dismissal, and as soon as Nino was sufficiently far from them, Jun stood in his space and whispered, “Do you want your reward now?”  
  
Sho nodded repeatedly.  
  
“Come with me,” Jun said, and Sho followed him to the janitor’s closet once more. Fortunately, no one had been in the corridor, and as soon as Jun got the door shut and barred with a mop handle, his voice had a husk to it when he spoke.  
  
“Remove the headpiece. Let it drop to the floor.”  
  
Sho followed, almost too hastily, but when he’d expected Jun to laugh, Jun didn’t. Instead Jun moved to circle him, eyeing the mess on his chin before unzipping the top half of the costume. It revealed Sho’s shirt soaked in combined saliva and sweat, and Sho quaked in place once air hit his skin.  
  
Jun moved behind him, wrenching one of his arms behind and up his back before pushing him forward, until he had to brace himself against the barred door with one hand.  
  
Jun’s other hand was making quick work on the lower half of the bird costume, and Sho nearly sobbed when it dropped to the floor and pooled at their feet. He rested his forehead against the door, trying to catch his breath. The gag still effectively muffled his noises, even his moan when Jun finally popped open the button of his boxers to pull out his length.  
  
Sho was hard and precome was already pearling at the tip of his cock, and he trembled when Jun began to give him a few strokes.  
  
“You’ve been so good tonight,” Jun told him, and Sho resisted the temptation to fuck Jun’s hand. “Do you have any idea how happy you’ve made me?”  
  
Sho could only respond with a groan, his toes curling inside the fluffy bird shoes.  
  
He felt Jun’s tongue lick the shell of his ear and he almost sagged against the door, hips thrusting helplessly into Jun’s hand, wanting more friction but unable to say it, unable to beg for it.  
  
“So good and so perfect,” Jun was whispering in his ear, his hand moving faster. Slick sounds along with Sho’s gasps and garbled groans pierced the silence, the air in the janitor’s closet turning stuffy and heated. “You’re going to come for me right here, while there are people outside and running in the corridor. You’re going to come and you’re not going to hold back, instead let them all hear how much of a good boy you are.”  
  
Sho nodded in succession, hips moving in tandem with Jun’s fist.  
  
“You’ll let them know how much you deserve this reward.”  
  
Sho gave another nod, but Jun squeezed the base of his cock, making him arch.  
  
“Can’t hear you.”  
  
“Yes,” Sho responded, despite the gag turning it to another slur that resulted to more drool that covered his chin.  
  
“Yes what?”  
  
“Yes, Matsumoto-san.”  
  
Jun didn’t hold back anymore, stroking Sho in an almost brutal pace, wrist twisting to smear precome all over Sho’s length. When Jun pinched the head of Sho’s cock, that was it. Sho came with a shudder, moaning loudly around the gag, half of his face pressed against the door as his vision whited out.  
  
Sho barely registered Jun’s fingers fumbling for the catch, and he groaned in relief when the gag was removed, the ball falling right onto Jun’s waiting palm. He flexed and extended his jaw, trying to get used to the feel of his mouth once more.  
  
Jun soon guided him back to the table after making him step out of the costume’s trousers that had pooled around his feet. Jun helped him maneuver his shoulders to take the top off which they discarded to the floor. Jun fingered at the hem of Sho’s shirt and Sho raised his arms in cooperation, and he bared his neck as per Jun’s instructions while Jun began cleaning him off.  
  
Sho remained there on the tabletop, watching Jun tend to him (as he always did after he had made Sho come) while having an erection that strained inside his slacks. Sometimes Jun would allow Sho to touch him back, but Sho had a feeling that Jun wouldn’t, not tonight.  
  
Especially since it was no longer Saturday.  
  
Checking his watch showed that it was seven minutes after midnight, and yet he didn’t move, allowing Jun to clean him with his stack of packaged wet wipes. Sho was only clad in his underwear, his cock still hanging out as Jun moved to his chest, doing away with traces of Sho’s sweat and saliva.  
  
Looking past Jun’s shoulders revealed that streaks of his come were still stuck on the door, undeniable evidence that he’d been rewarded graciously for his hard work tonight.  
  
“I’ll drive you home,” Jun said after, his fingers running through Sho’s hair, combing the strands.  
  
Sho hummed in agreement.  
  
“I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” Jun stepped back and began picking up the costume, saving the headpiece for the last.  
  
Before Jun could leave, Sho called after him. “Actually, can you drop me off at a soba place instead? I’m hungry. I’ll just take the train after.”  
  
“No,” Jun said, and Sho blinked in confusion. “We’ll have soba, then I’ll take you home.”  
  
Jun left, but not without staring at the come drying on the door. Jun wrenched the door open after, not bothering to wipe its surface, and because he was finally alone, Sho allowed himself a happy smile before tugging his clothes back on.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Sho had to ditch his shirt and zip up his jacket that early morning, and instead of the usual _I look forward to Saturday_ as a parting message from Jun, he received something that felt more personal.  
  
_Have a safe trip to Gunma._  
  
That Saturday, after his parents had picked him up and they’d run out of things to ask Sho, Sho scrolled through his LINE messages with Jun to have something to do.  
  
Which was a bad idea, because it made him wish he’d be in Toshima tonight. He’d probably enjoy the warm kotatsu and sleeping with his kaimaki on for tonight, but he’d gotten accustomed to spending Saturday nights with Jun.  
  
Usually, by this time, Jun would be sending him reminders about their scheduled meetup and ask him about his day so far. Sho would ramble about the coffee machine and the Arabica beans that were too bitter for his liking, and sometimes he’d sent photos to Jun to give him a better idea of what he’d meant with his claims.  
  
Today, he held his phone in a mixture of expectation and disappointment. He didn’t know what to make of it.  
  
To pass the time, Sho took photos of his hands and sent them in the thread without any captions. He recently trimmed his nails, but he was yet to completely do away with the habit of biting them when he got nervous. Every time he’d almost do it, though, he’d remember Jun.  
  
His phone vibrated in his hands, and he hurriedly scrolled down to the bottom of the thread when the notification indicated that he had a new one.  
  
_It’s cloudy today_ , was Jun’s message, but there was a Read notification beside the photos Sho had sent.  
  
_Not in Gunma_ , was Sho’s reply.  
  
_You’re there already?_  
  
_Close. When I get there, do you want any souvenirs?_  
  
Jun sent him a sticker of a cat smiling.  
  
Sho didn’t know what to make of it. _Is that a yes?_  
  
_It means do whatever you feel like doing._  
  
That made Sho frown. _It’s Saturday today._  
  
Jun remained silent for a good two minutes, and Sho decided he couldn’t wait anymore so he typed another message: _What do you want me to do?_  
  
Wasn’t that their agreement? That on Saturdays, he was Jun’s. For Sho, regardless of whether they had an agreed scenario or not, that rule was absolute on Saturdays. He could type cilantro any moment he wanted to back out, but it was the furthest thing from his mind.  
  
Jun’s response came a minute later: _Tell me your schedule for today._  
  
And Sho did, outlining every hour he would be spending with his relatives. He was expected to attend a family dinner at eight, and he estimated that would last until ten in the night; the children would have to be sent to bed.  
  
He had to wait for a few minutes for Jun’s response, but when he got it, it was difficult to suppress a smile.  
  
_I’ll call you at 10:30 tonight. FaceTime._  
  
Just to annoy Jun a bit, Sho sent the same cat sticker from earlier.  
  
_Sho_ , was the only reply he received, sent with the proper punctuation. He interpreted it as Jun getting impatient.  
  
_10:30_ , Sho keyed in, _got it._  
  
Sho and his parents arrived in Gunma close to noon, and he was automatically sent away to run errands after greeting and mingling with his relatives for a short while. It kept him occupied, barely able to check his phone. He then had to babysit the kids of his cousins, taking selfies with them as they put on funny faces.  
  
By the time the family dinner happened, Sho was sufficiently exhausted. A glass of cold beer served as his reward for today’s hard work, coupled with hilarious stories and anecdotes of lives that were far from the capital.  
  
10 PM that night had Sho retiring to the room his cousins had recently cleared for him. It was an old stock room, cramped and stuffed with boxes that had been shoved against the walls to have a space on the tatami that was sufficient enough to have one futon.  
  
Sho accepted his new quarters graciously anyway, since they also had his beloved kaimaki all ready for him, waiting by the time Sho had finished brushing up and changing into his pajamas.  
  
At exactly 10:30, his phone rang, the kanji for Jun’s full name as the caller ID.  
  
“Hello,” Sho greeted the moment he accepted the call.  
  
On the other side, he saw Jun with a glass of wine, his phone perfectly capturing the view from the chest up. Sho assumed Jun was using a phone stand, and from the view behind him, Jun appeared to be in his dining room.  
  
“Hello. You have your own room in Gunma?” Jun asked.  
  
Sho checked the view he had in the tiny screen at the corner. He was lying on his side and behind him were stacks of boxes containing who knows what.  
  
He adjusted a bit, trying to get comfortable. “They cleared a small room for me.” It was beginning to get cold so he pulled the kaimaki up to his chin.  
  
“Is that a blanket?” Jun asked with a frown.  
  
“It’s a kaimaki,” Sho answered with a smile, lifting the material for emphasis.  
  
“I thought it had a different design than most blankets,” Jun said. “No wonder. Why do you have one?”  
  
Sho looked away in embarrassment. “I can’t sleep without one.”  
  
He only turned back to his phone when he heard Jun laugh. It sounded a bit distorted through the call, and Sho wished he was in Toshima right now so he could hear it in person. “Do you wear it traditionally, then?”  
  
“I have it on my lap, usually,” Sho explained.  
  
“Usually?”  
  
“Well, it’s a bit cold right now.”  
  
“Is it?” Jun asked, and there was an unmistakable shift in his tone.  
  
Sho looked around despite knowing he was alone in this corner of the house. His parents had the upstairs bedroom and his siblings were sharing with their cousins. He was alone, but it wasn’t exactly private. Anyone could walk down the corridor for a glass of water and hear him should he make too much noises.  
  
When he faced his phone once more, Jun had a grin behind his wine glass. “Done panicking?”  
  
“I don’t panic,” Sho retorted immediately.  
  
“You do when there’s a chance of us getting caught,” Jun pointed out, taking a sip of his wine. “Now tell me, is there?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho said quietly. “The corridor outside also leads to the kitchen.”  
  
“Excellent,” Jun said, and Sho’s breath got caught in his throat. “Show me your futon.”  
  
Sho did, but he had to sit up to be able to capture his surroundings and accommodations. He lay back, the kaimaki now only rising up to his navel.  
  
“I like your polka-dotted pajamas,” Jun told him.  
  
“Thank you,” Sho said, fighting the urge to blush. He still had the tiny lamp overhead on, and he was suspecting he wouldn’t be able to turn it off soon.  
  
“I like them, but now I want them off,” Jun said, and Sho nearly dropped his phone.  
  
Sho situated the phone on top of a box, having it lean against a corner so it’d be inclined. The angle wasn’t perfect, but it should be enough: Jun could see him on the futon and he could hear what Jun had to say.  
  
He didn’t miss Jun’s smile as Jun set down his glass of wine on the table. “Start unbuttoning from the bottom. Show me. Go slowly.”  
  
Sho did, fingers fumbling a bit as he attempted to regulate his breathing. He shivered when cool air touched his skin but kept at it until he had his pajama top completely opened.  
  
“Have you been working out in the past two weeks?” Jun asked, his tone now curious.  
  
Sho nodded. “But I gain muscle quickly so I only work out moderately.”  
  
“Scoot up a bit,” Jun ordered, his fingers beckoning Sho as if Sho was right with him. “I want to see the mark on your bellybutton.”  
  
Sho obeyed, moving to sit up and straightening his back against one of the boxes. He had to readjust the phone again, and now he was farther from it so he had to up the volume a bit.  
  
“Someday you should put back that piercing and show me,” Jun said.  
  
“I tried once but it hurt,” Sho admitted.  
  
Jun laughed. “Oh you’re such a baby sometimes.” Jun took another sip of his wine before he continued, “Bare your left shoulder. Don’t remove the top, but I want to see your shoulder.”  
  
Sho only had to shrug said shoulder for the material to fall off it—the advantage of having sloping shoulders that he’d never considered before.  
  
For a couple of moments, there was nothing but silence. Jun was simply looking at him, drinking his wine every now and then, and Sho felt like a specimen under careful scrutiny. He tried to fight the flush that crept up his form, but the longer Jun stared at him without saying anything, the harder it had been to do so.  
  
“Are you blushing?” Jun asked. “It’s hard to tell with just a camera phone.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Jun leaned forward, his face now closer to the camera. “Oh you’re so red. Why are you so red? Are you embarrassed?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
It reminded Sho of their first meeting, back when Jun had been hidden under a fedora that he hadn’t removed until he’d had his fill of taking in Sho’s appearance.  
  
“Because you’re staring,” Sho said almost breathlessly.  
  
“I don’t like repeating myself,” Jun said, voice stern and making Sho flinch a bit. “I told you once that I like what I’m seeing. Do not ask me to say that again; it remains true every time I look at you.”  
  
Sho had to bite his lip as he heard that—the unadulterated praise sent warmth all over his body and made him tremble.  
  
“Touch your nipples,” Jun said, and Sho opened his eyes to find Jun leaning back on his seat. “Start with the right then the left. Touch them as you think I would if I were there with you.”  
  
Sho hissed the moment his fingertips made contact with his pert nipples, his back arching as he began running the backs of his fingers over them. The idea of Jun seeing this, Jun watching him, made his blood boil and turn south, his cock responding to his stimulations.  
  
“What are you thinking of? Tell me,” Jun said, his voice cracking due to the connection.  
  
“Your ring,” Sho admitted, imagining the studded silver, the one Jun had on his middle finger frequently.  
  
“What about my ring?”  
  
“It’d be cold.” Sho hissed again, envisioning the studs running over his sensitive nipples. “It’d be cold against my skin, so—”  
  
“So?”  
  
Sho welded his eyes shut, his thighs coming together as he tried to keep quiet. “So I’d like to warm it in my mouth.”  
  
He imagined sucking Jun’s fingers up to the knuckle, Jun using his saliva to make his touch warmer and eventually turn cooler. He thought of Jun’s hands on his body, touching him when he couldn’t touch himself because with Jun, it was next to impossible that his hands weren’t cuffed or tied where he couldn’t use them.  
  
“Are you hard?” Jun asked, and it sounded clipped.  
  
Sho only nodded.  
  
“Show me. Shove your pajama bottoms down to your thighs and show me.”  
  
Sho pushed the garter of his pajamas down, lifting his hips to have them around his thighs. He usually didn’t wear his boxers under his pajamas or sweats, and he arched a bit when the air from his surroundings made contact with his sensitive skin.  
  
His cock was leaking precome, thick and curved over his abdomen, and perfectly within Jun’s view.  
  
“Do you want to touch yourself?”  
  
Sho’s cock twitched at the question. “Yes.”  
  
“And if I tell you to stop, what will you do?”  
  
“I’ll stop,” Sho answered instantaneously. He looked at his phone and found Jun watching him, the wine glass pushed aside and untouched.  
  
Jun cast aside his precious wine for Sho, and Sho was determined to make this good for Jun.  
  
“Please Matsumoto-san,” Sho began shakily, and he caught Jun’s eyes widening. “Please let me.”  
  
“You will stop when I tell you,” Jun said, voice firm, and Sho nodded. “Lick your palm and begin.”  
  
Sho obeyed, and the first touch of his slick palm around his cock had him gasping. He tried to set a steady pace, but it was becoming more difficult to keep it slow and quiet as his cock responded to his own touches.  
  
“Please,” Sho found himself muttering in the middle of his strokes, “please.”  
  
Jun’s voice cut through the haze, and Sho moaned. “Please what?”  
  
“Please say something,” he requested helplessly, shivering as his entire body reacted. He only needed Jun’s voice and he’d overcome the hurdle that was him masturbating on camera for the first time.  
  
“You are so desperate for it,” Jun husked, his voice so low. “Look at you. So hungry for it. Touching yourself while thinking of me, knowing I can see you, hear you. Determined to put on a show.”  
  
Sho reddened all over, hips lifting to meet his fist. He had to bite onto the back of his hand to muffle his noises as he got closer. “Jun. Jun, please.”  
  
“Are you close?” Jun’s voice was deep, almost a groan.  
  
“Yes. Yes, Jun.”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
Sho was certain he’d have indentations of his teeth on the back of his hand as he bit down hard. He kept his hand wrapped around the base of his cock to prevent blood to flow and he shivered, thighs tingling because of the impending orgasm cut short.  
  
He sagged against the stack of boxes, not minding their pointed edges digging into his back as he attempted to catch his breath. He was panting like he’d run a mile, sweating like he was in a sauna instead of in a room in Gunma.  
  
“Good boy,” Jun said, piercing through the haze.  
  
Sho whimpered, his cock twitching in his grip.  
  
“Good boy,” Jun repeated. “You’re only going to come when you’re with me, do you understand?”  
  
Sho managed a nod, planting his heels on the futon so his legs would stop shaking. His cock was still fully hard, still curving up his stomach, swollen and thick in his hold.  
  
“I can’t hear you,” Jun told him. When Sho checked, he saw Jun looking at his cock and at the fierce way he was gripping it so he wouldn’t come.  
  
“I understand,” Sho uttered breathlessly.  
  
“Good. Clean up, then. Don’t go to bed sticky and sweaty. I’ll wait.” Jun now reached for his wine, drinking the rest of it.  
  
It took Sho a while but he got himself to move, pushing away thoughts of Jun and his orgasm to the back of his mind. The nearest bathroom was only a few paces away from Sho’s room and he washed up as instructed, tucking his now-half-hard cock back into his pajamas before padding back to his room.  
  
Jun was still on the line as promised.  
  
“Show me your face,” Jun said, and Sho picked up the phone as he settled himself under the covers. He felt so exhausted, but also content for reasons he couldn’t name.  
  
“You are still so red,” Jun said, and he sounded amused. “Touch your lips for me.”  
  
Sho ran the fingers of his other hand over his mouth, lingering on his bottom lip. His ministrations were getting slower as he got drowsier and soon, he was barely able to keep his eyes open.  
  
“Don’t cut the line,” Jun said softly. “You can go to sleep. But don’t cut it.”  
  
Sho let his phone lean against another box, his face already half-buried under his kaimaki.  
  
“Good night,” he said groggily, eyes sliding shut.  
  
Whether Jun returned it or not, he didn’t know.  
  
\--  
  
Sho woke at six in the morning because his parents wanted to leave as early as possible. He checked his phone and saw that his call log with Jun lasted for two hours and thirty-seven minutes.  
  
Which meant that Jun had ended the call at 1:17 AM of that Sunday.  
  
He opened their LINE thread because it had one notification for him, and he was surprised to find a voice message from Jun.  
  
Sho pulled up the kaimaki to cover his entire body before he played it.  
  
“Good night, Sho-san.”  
  
Sho pressed the phone close to his face, unable to describe what he was feeling. He felt like a teenager, his gut doing somersaults at hearing Jun’s voice first thing in the morning. A part of him wanted to consider that possibility, that idea of having Jun’s voice wake him up the morning after, and he had to let out a breath to steel himself.  
  
He was certain Jun was still asleep at this hour, but before Sho could get ready to return to Tokyo, he knew he had to type up a message.  
  
_I have a request to make._  
  
He sent it and started making his futon, folding it appropriately before heading to the bathroom to start his day. He was in the middle of rinsing his hair when he heard his mother call for him to hurry up, and that resulted to Sho speeding through the rest of his bath, hastily scrubbing his arms and legs.  
  
He was only able to check his phone once he was in the car and they were out on the road, and finding no messages, texts, or emails that demanded his attention, he napped through the rest of the trip in the backseat.  
  
Sho was back at home and sifting through his bills when his phone vibrated with a LINE message.  
  
Jun.  
  
_What is it?_ was the reply, and Sho wasted no time in typing back a response.  
  
_We’re nearing six months since we started this._ According to Sho’s calculations, the Saturday of this week would mark the sixth month since they’d began this arrangement.  
  
_I am aware._  
  
Sho exhaled, squaring his shoulders. _Won’t we make it special?_ He didn’t mean to sound so hopeful, but with almost six months of having Jun in charge of him...surely it had to mean something.  
  
_Getting impatient now?_  
  
Sho sent a dog sticker, one that jumped around in place.  
  
_Funnily enough,_ Jun’s next message read, _I’ve already made plans for next Saturday._  
  
_No sudden parties or cancellations?_ Sho joked.  
  
_You’re not returning to Gunma, are you?_  
  
Sho sent a sticker of a dog shaking its head.  
  
_Good. Wait for my email then._  
  
Sho allowed the Read notification express his agreement, but he was surprised when his phone vibrated with another message.  
  
_And Sho-san?_  
  
_Yes?_  
  
_You snore like a bear._  
  
Jun sent a bear sticker after that, one that was laughing on the ground.  
  
Sho buried his face in his hands, embarrassed. _I’m sorry about that._  
  
_I was wondering why you had your own room and finally had the answer when I watched you sleep. I should have recorded it._  
  
Sho groaned. _I’m really embarrassed right now._  
  
Jun sent a laughing emoji. _Not to worry. No matter how loud you were, it’ll be our little secret._  
  
Sho focused on the last word of Jun’s message, and he had to shush the thoughts in his head. Secret. Was that their status for each other? Sho’s Saturday secret, Jun’s Saturday secret? It made Sho feel uncomfortable so he only tapped on a noncommittal cat sticker for a response.  
  
_Work hard today_ , was Jun’s next message, something Sho didn’t see fit to reply to.  
  
He had to ignore the questions formulating in his head regarding their arrangement. They’d been clear and honest from the beginning—Jun with his expectations, Sho with his. Jun had given his rules and Sho had given his agreement. They’d negotiated, compromised, and discussed, each of their moves done with consent.  
  
Sho was contented with that setup. Or at least he thought he was.  
  
So why did he find himself wishing for more?  
  
\--  
  
The email Sho had received for that week contained the same basic rule as its predecessors: he was not to kiss Jun unless Jun ordered him to or initiated it. The change this time was that he was permitted in Jun’s bedroom, but only after Jun gave him a gift.  
  
The gift part was what made Sho wait for Saturday in anticipation. Was it a new gag, recently purchased just for Sho? Or did Jun finally decide to use fuzzy handcuffs on him instead of the padded leather that Sho often wore? Was it a bullet vibrator or a set of anal beads? A shiny cock ring?  
  
It could be anything.  
  
But Jun had indicated that it was a present to commemorate the Saturday that marked the sixth month of their arrangement. Had it been any other kind of relationship, the length of time they’d spent with each other would have indicated stability.  
  
Sho viewed his arrangement with Jun as a professional relationship that existed only at the end of the week. But he wasn’t that oblivious; Jun had a particular effect on him that he wasn’t ready to address yet. He treated his need for Jun’s presence as an extension of his needs in the bedroom—on having someone be in charge of him, someone who had the reins but only because Sho had willingly handed them over.  
  
With Jun, Sho was comfortable enough to make requests, knowing that if they weren’t negotiable, Jun would tell him. Honesty was the foundation of their relationship, and for Sho, for someone who had been inexperienced before Jun came along, it was the reassurance that he had needed.  
  
So Sho was mainly curious about Jun’s present and less worried about what it might be. He was more fascinated with the myriad of possibilities of what it might be—Jun was a particularly creative individual, finding ways and methods with his toys and bondage paraphernalia that Sho had never considered before but had been more than willing to try.  
  
That Saturday, after he arrived in Jun’s place and had his feet tucked inside the beige slippers, Jun told him to remain in the genkan, at least for a few moments.  
  
Sho stood in place, head tilted to the side in question.  
  
“It’s been six months since we started this,” Jun began, looking at him with a soft expression in his eyes. Jun was in his suit—an ordinary sight for Sho on Saturdays—minus the jacket and the tie, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had his hands behind him. “And seven months since I sent you a private message.”  
  
“Lucy-san,” Sho said, smiling as he remembered.  
  
“Zeus-san,” Jun acknowledged, the corner of his mouth lifting up in a smirk. “Given your inexperience, frankly, I never expected us to make it through in all those months. We’ve had to cancel and compromise or settle for a video call, but here we are.”  
  
If Sho didn’t know any better, he’d say Jun was a bit emotional. But Jun’s face gave nothing away save for his obvious amusement.  
  
“I have a present for you,” Jun finally said, stepping forward until they were only an arm’s length away from each other. “Since it’s a present, it’s not mandatory that you wear it. But it will make me very happy if you do.”  
  
Sho’s heart hammered inside his ribcage, breath coming out rushed as he waited.  
  
“Congratulations on our sixth month,” Jun said, and he pulled out a black leather collar, holding it in his hands.  
  
Sho stared, his breath stilling.  
  
It was obviously made of the finest leather, but it had no bells or rings. It was a simple black coil that stood in contrast with Jun’s pale complexion, with a silver buckle that shone under the light.  
  
Sho lifted his eyes to meet Jun’s, and for the first time, he saw a dash of uncertainty in Jun’s eyes.  
  
“Regardless if you want to wear it or not, it’s still yours,” Jun clarified. “However, if you’d rather have it here with me until you’re ready, l’d understand. You don’t have to bring it home with you. But it’s for you.”  
  
Sho had to swallow a lump in his throat before he could speak. “Did you buy this for me?”  
  
“I had it made for you,” Jun said, hands still outstretched in offering, the collar sitting on his palms.  
  
“When?” Sho found himself asking.  
  
“After the party,” Jun answered.  
  
Sho took a deep breath. It wasn’t just for him—it was _crafted_ for him. Despite its simple design, Sho doubted there was anything like it. Knowing Jun, there had to be something in it that made it solely Sho’s, something identifying that it could never be for anyone else.  
  
He met Jun’s gaze again, and without a word, bared his neck.  
  
Jun’s almost hissing intake of breath was hard to miss.  
  
“As soon as I put this on you, we will begin,” Jun told him, stepping closer.  
  
Sho flashed Jun a small smile. “Happy sixth monthsary, Lucy-san,” he said instead.  
  
Jun let out a soft chuckle, fingers undoing the buckle. “Undress. Start with the shirt. Fold it neatly and put it on the nearest table. Do the same with the jeans. Remove your boxers too.”  
  
Sho obeyed but kept his movements evenly paced, knowing Jun would ogle his ass once he had the underwear off. Jun seemed to like his ass more than any part of his body, constantly groping and touching him whenever their Saturday was almost over.  
  
Right now, their Saturday was just beginning.  
  
Completely naked, Sho willed himself not to shiver. He was still in the genkan, being scrutinized by Jun who stared at his nakedness openly.  
  
“Do you remember the email?” Jun asked.  
  
“I do,” Sho replied.  
  
“Do you remember your safeword?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Turn around.”  
  
Jun lifted his hands and Sho allowed him to put the collar on him. It was warm, the leather snug around his neck but not compressing his windpipe. He couldn’t tilt his head as much as he had been able to, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.  
  
“Face me,” Jun ordered.  
  
Sho spun on his heel and Jun’s fingers immediately stroked the leather, lingering on the buckle.  
  
“Too tight?” Jun asked. Sho caught him looking at his neck, his eyes dark now.  
  
“No,” Sho said, shaking his head. The collar was resting right on his Adam’s apple which grazed the inside with each word he uttered. “It’s fine.”  
  
“Come,” Jun said, extending his hand. Sho accepted it, and as Jun guided him towards the bedroom, Jun’s thumb kept stroking his knuckles in soothing circles.  
  
As soon as they crossed the threshold, Sho looked around, committing the appearance of Jun’s bedroom to memory. He’d never been here before and he was half-expecting for Jun’s toys to be easily accessible on top of the nightstand.  
  
Instead there was only a paperback novel beside a digital clock that was there. Jun had a king size bed, stripped of the covers save for the fitted sheet. The pillows were out of their cases, and on the center of the mattress lay two handcuffs, both made of metal.  
  
Sho’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of them, blood rushing to his cock.  
  
“I want you to lie down with your head hanging on the edge of the bed,” Jun said, leading Sho to the foot of the bed before taking a seat. Jun patted the spot beside him. “Right here.”  
  
Sho obeyed, placing one knee on the mattress followed by the other. He was a bit startled with the dip he felt as soon as he climbed the bed—he wasn’t expecting Jun’s mattress to be this soft.  
  
He got into position, turning his head to the side and finding Jun’s thigh right in front of him. He looked up and Jun ran a hand over his forehead, combing the stray strands of his hair.  
  
Jun’s hand traveled to the side of his face, stroking slowly until he reached the collar and he lingered on the smooth leather surface. Then Jun stood, grabbing the handcuffs, the material clinking against each other.  
  
Sho licked his lips and waited.  
  
“Bend your legs at the knee and grab your ankles,” Jun said.  
  
Sho did, his breathing turning labored. He was exposed, cock hardening at the idea of how completely bared he was for Jun who remained clothed. Sho had nothing on him.  
  
Except the collar.  
  
Jun cuffed his wrist to his ankle and used the other handcuff to do the same on the other side. When Jun pulled back, it was to place his hands on Sho’s knees and push them apart, exposing more of Sho and how open he was.  
  
Jun‘s hands were warm when they roamed. He began with featherlight and ticklish skims of his fingers over Sho’s abdomen, climbing up to his chest. Jun circled both of his nipples with a forefinger and Sho gasped, body writhing on top of the sheets.  
  
His groin felt heavy, cock beginning to swell.  
  
He was aware he was flushing and he shut his eyes when he heard Jun’s voice.  
  
“You’re blushing,” Jun noted, his knuckles brushing against Sho’s chest. “Is it because you’re embarrassed? Again?”  
  
Sho shook his head, eyes still closed.  
  
“Why? Tell me.”  
  
“Because you’re staring,” Sho replied.  
  
“Me staring embarrasses you?” Jun asked, fingers now tracing Sho’s jaw.  
  
Sho shook his head once more.  
  
“Then what is it?”  
  
Sho kept his feet firmly planted on the mattress and thrusted his hips in response.  
  
“Ah,” Jun said knowingly, and Sho half-buried his face against the sheets. “You like it.”  
  
A quiet moan escaped from Sho, and he felt knuckles running over his cheekbones.  
  
“You’ve never looked more appealing than you do now,” Jun husked, now tracing his lips, gathering moisture by having Sho suck at two of his fingers and smearing Sho’s saliva over Sho’s lips, leaving them glistening.  
  
Sho’s eyes snapped open when he heard a zipper, and he licked his lips, looking up at Jun as Jun pulled out his cock, gave it a few strokes.  
  
It was the first time Sho had seen Jun’s cock out of his slacks. He couldn’t take his eyes off it, watching as Jun smeared the precome around the tip using his thumb.  
  
Jun stepped closer to him, cock hovering right in front of his face. Sho’s mouth watered at the sight of it, and he moistened his lips once more.  
  
“Close your mouth,” Jun said, eyes half-lidded.  
  
Sho did, and he resisted the temptation to dart out his tongue when Jun pressed the head of his cock over Sho’s lips, painting Sho’s mouth with his precome.  
  
The desire to taste Jun made Sho feel hot all over, body flushing as a reaction. He wanted to lick his lips, savor Jun using his tongue.  
  
“Open,” Jun said, and Sho parted his lips instantly, eagerly.  
  
Sho moaned the moment Jun inserted the head inside his mouth, giving it a tiny suck and humming in appreciation and gratitude. Jun pulled back, gave himself a few strokes, and fed his cock into Sho’s mouth once more, going slowly and allowing Sho to take it inch by inch.  
  
When the tip grazed his uvula, Sho’s eyes watered and he gagged.  
  
Jun stepped back and stroked his cheek, his now-wet cock dangling in front of Sho.  
  
“Open,” Jun said again, and Sho did.  
  
Moaning around a mouthful of Jun, it took Sho a few tries before he was able to have all of Jun inside him by flattening his tongue. Jun pulled out and he gasped, threads of saliva clinging from the head of Jun’s cock to his mouth.  
  
He parted his lips, and he hissed when Jun delivered a light slap across his cheek.  
  
“You will only open your mouth when I tell you to,” Jun said.  
  
Sho’s cock twitched as he nodded, snapping his mouth shut.  
  
“Do you want my cock?” Jun asked, the slick sounds of him stroking himself ringing in Sho’s ears.  
  
Sho nodded repeatedly.  
  
“Beg me for it. If you want it so much, beg me.”  
  
Sho’s hands were clenched into fists, and the cuffs bit at the skin of his wrists as he tugged at his binds. “Please.”  
  
He caught Jun’s eyebrow quirking.  
  
“Please, Jun.”  
  
“Please what?”  
  
Sho’s eyes drifted shut. “Please,” he whispered, “fuck my mouth.”  
  
“Open,” Jun said in response, and Sho eagerly did, moaning happily when Jun fucked his mouth again. Jun rested one hand on the collar, using it as leverage to control his thrusts, going slowly before increasing his pace.  
  
When Sho was getting used to the tempo, he couldn’t help groaning at the loss when Jun pulled out again.  
  
Closing his mouth had him drooling, half of his face now wet with his own saliva, a trail of it tracking down his cheekbone and making him shiver, a low groan escaping from him.  
  
He gasped when Jun delivered another slap across his cheek. “Did I tell you to open?”  
  
“No,” Sho said, knees shaking. He wanted to close his thighs to feel even just a bit of friction on his cock, but he wasn’t allowed to, wasn’t ordered to.  
  
“What if I leave you like this?” Jun asked, voice stern. If it wasn’t for the sensation of his hard and wet cock resting right against Sho’s cheek, Sho would have considered the possibility of Jun leaving him hanging.  
  
Still, he played along. “Please don’t.” He turned his head to the side to have Jun’s length touch his lips, giving it tiny sucks. He wanted it in his mouth, wanted Jun’s cock to grow thicker and heavier with his lips around it.  
  
Sho received another slap that made him inhale in surprise.  
  
“Look at you, so hungry for it,” Jun said, one hand gripping the base of his length before dragging it over Sho’s face, precome and saliva smeared on Sho’s cheeks. Instinctively, Sho followed where Jun dragged his length until Jun rested the tip over Sho’s philtrum.  
  
Sho had to extend his neck further to have his lips touch the cockhead, but it was worth it. He tasted Jun’s precome when he tongued at the slit, and his body involuntarily writhed on top of the sheets.  
  
“Do you want it?” Jun asked. “Do you want it in your mouth?”  
  
Sho nodded repeatedly. “Yes,” he uttered shakily, the vibrations of each syllable transferring to Jun’s length and making it twitch excitedly over Sho’s mouth.  
  
Sho was salivating, tongue darting out eagerly to give kittenish licks at the foreskin. “Yes, please.”  
  
“Beg,” Jun whispered, and Sho saw the way Jun was clenching his jaw. “Beg for my cock.”  
  
“Please, Matsumoto-san,” he choked, mouth trembling in anticipation. Jun tightened his grip on his cock, eyes widening fractionally. “I want your cock. Please give me your cock.”  
  
Jun stepped forward, keeping his hold firm around the base of his length and angling it upward so he could rest his balls over Sho’s mouth. “Lick.”  
  
Sho was more than happy to, protruding his tongue and lapping at Jun’s balls. He wanted to suck at each, but he wasn’t ordered to so he contented himself with getting just a taste of Jun.  
  
Jun was panting when he leaned back. “Open,” he grunted, and Sho was ready to.  
  
Jun pushed all the way in, not easing himself out even as Sho choked in surprise. Then once Sho was able to overcome his gag reflex, Jun began thrusting.  
  
“Hollow your cheeks,” Jun said, voice growing deeper and breathier with each snap of his hips. “Fuck, Sho.”  
  
Sho was pulling at his restraints, not caring if the metal would leave red marks around his wrists and ankles. His cock demanded attention as it got harder with the obscene sounds of Jun fucking his mouth steadily.  
  
Sho’s spine curved when Jun reached over to pinch a nipple, twisting it in his fingers. He moaned around Jun’s cock, relishing the feel of his mouth being thoroughly used, savoring the taste and feel of Jun inside, fucking him as Jun saw fit.  
  
Jun’s breaths came out in gasps now, head thrown back as he lost himself in using Sho to find release. Sho kept his throat open, letting Jun go as far as he could, then finally, Jun pulled out with a hiss, stepping into Sho’s space as he jerked himself to climax.  
  
“Bare your neck,” Jun commanded, his voice strained. “Show me. Show me your neck.”  
  
Sho tilted his head to side in cooperation. He focused on the sounds Jun was making, on the sight of Jun about to come on him, all over him.  
  
“Come on me,” Sho uttered, wanting it, back arching at the thought of it. “Please come on me.”  
  
Slick sounds were the only things Sho could hear apart from his raging heartbeat. There was a brief moment of him meeting Jun’s line of sight, then Jun’s eyes slid shut, face contorting in pleasure, a low moan escaping from his full lips as he came. His release covered most of the collar, though streaks of it landed on Sho’s chin and chest. Sho couldn’t help himself from moaning when he felt the warm semen touch his heated skin, his sore lips throbbing as he ran his tongue over them.  
  
He felt used, and his body thrummed in happiness.  
  
He kept his eyes open and looked up, watching Jun as Jun struggled to catch his breath. Jun was flushed, an attractive red bloomed right over his high cheekbones, making him more alluring in Sho’s eyes.  
  
When his gaze met Jun’s, he saw something akin to pride in Jun’s eyes.  
  
Without warning, Jun ran his hand over the collar, getting most of his own release on his hand. Sho’s body lifted from the bed when Jun began touching his cock, using his come earlier as lube.  
  
“You’re so good,” Jun was saying, jerking him off quickly, messily. It didn’t matter—Sho was close; his toes were curling. “Perfect as always. So good and perfect, and all mine.”  
  
Sho nearly whimpered, biting his bottom lip, hips lifting to meet Jun’s slick hand.  
  
“Come for me,” Jun said, his other hand reaching to squeeze Sho’s balls. “Come for me, Sho. Only for me.”  
  
Sho needed no other push, body arching as his thighs trembled. He spilled all over himself, his come hitting his stomach, some of it getting in Jun’s hand. He found himself not caring about the stickiness, his mind still trapped in a state of bliss.  
  
When Sho acquired his bearings back, Jun was stroking the inside of his thighs and watching his face. Jun had zipped up, but his dress shirt was drenched in sweat, giving Sho a view of his muscular chest underneath.  
  
Jun was merely looking at him, eyes never straying from his face. Sho was aware he looked like mess—mouth swollen and red, half of his face drenched in his own spit, his entire body flushed and sweating, come crusting on his chin, chest, and abdomen.  
  
He was the perfect depiction of debauchery, and he was thrilled that Jun was the only person who could see him like this.  
  
Without saying anything, Jun began unlocking the cuffs. Sho immediately stretched his legs on the bed as soon as he was free, humming in contentment as Jun moved to massage his wrists and ankles.  
  
“You’re filthy,” Jun told him, but he didn’t sound displeased.  
  
“I can’t feel my lips,” Sho admitted.  
  
Jun’s face broke into a smile, then Jun coaxed him to a sitting position. “Come,” Jun said, his mouth resting right on Sho’s temple, “let’s get you cleaned up.”  
  
Jun ushered him to the bathroom and inside the bathtub. Jun perched himself on a stool as the two of them waited for the tub to fill.  
  
“Lower your head,” Jun said softly, and Sho felt him unbuckling the collar.  
  
“Can I see it?” Sho asked once the collar was off him and was in Jun’s hands.  
  
“It’s yours,” Jun told him, handing it over.  
  
Sho’s earlier suspicion proved to be true: hidden from view was the kanji of his name debossed on the inside of the collar. Sho ran his fingers over it, liking how it felt under his touch.  
  
“I will have to clean that though,” Jun said as he reached for a bath sponge, soap, and shampoo. “When you’re done with your bath.”  
  
Sho handed the collar back to Jun, smiling. “Clean it,” he said, his grin growing wider at Jun’s eyes narrowing, “so I can wear it again.”  
  
Jun said nothing, but as he began lathering soap on Sho’s back, Sho caught him smiling.  
  
“Hungry?” Jun asked when he was massaging Sho’s scalp after applying shampoo on Sho’s hair.  
  
Sho hummed in agreement.  
  
“How does omurice sound?”  
  
“Perfect,” Sho said with a grin, “that sounds perfect.”  
  
“Later then,” Jun promised. “After this.”  
  
Sho sat in the tub, shutting his eyes and sinking into contentment as he allowed Jun to finish bathing him.  
  
“Lean back,” Jun said later, when Sho was clean and Jun started draining the tub.  
  
Sho did, and his eyes snapped open when he felt Jun’s palms lathering shaving cream on his jaw.  
  
“Felt a little rough earlier,” Jun explained, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He reached for the razor and dragged it slowly over the angle of Sho’s jaw.  
  
Sho wanted to speak, but he waited when Jun put the razor down to wipe it off. “Are you going to shave my pubes too?” he joked, laughing a bit.  
  
Jun shot him an unamused look. “You can do that yourself.”  
  
“Do you prefer me shaved or not?” Sho asked with a grin. “I never asked.”  
  
“Well, in the event that I put my mouth on you,” Jun began, voice dropping suggestively and making Sho lick his lips nervously, “I would prefer not to be tickled by any coarse hair.” Jun lifted the razor once more. “Now shut up and let me finish this.”  
  
“I can do it myself,” Sho uttered quietly.  
  
“I know,” Jun said, giving him another look.  
  
Sho leaned back in defeat, allowing Jun to shave what was left of his barely-noticeable stubble. When Jun was done rinsing off the leftover shaving cream and was applying aftershave—Sho tried not to be too thrilled at sharing Jun’s scent, but it was difficult when Jun did everything with the same deliberateness—, Sho felt Jun’s thumbs lingering on his lips.  
  
The temptation to press chaste kisses on Jun’s fingerpads was overwhelming.  
  
“I like your mouth,” Jun murmured, then he blinked as if he was surprised that he’d declared that out loud, thumbs halting right over Sho’s lips.  
  
“Because of what it can do?” Sho asked quickly, trying to lighten the mood. He gave a tiny smile.  
  
“Overconfident?” Jun asked back, withdrawing.  
  
“I was able to take all of you a while ago,” Sho recalled.  
  
One of Jun’s eyebrows arched. “After gagging a few times.” Jun patted his cheek thrice. “I won’t be so lenient next time.”  
  
Sho moistened his lips at the thought of a next time.  
  
After his bath, as promised, Jun made omurice, which Sho finished every bite of. Sho waited for Jun to begin collecting the used plates and glasses before he pulled out the pack of silken socks that he had in the back pocket of his jeans.  
  
He handed it to Jun who accepted it with a frown.  
  
“Souvenir,” Sho said, trying to make it casual despite being unable to look at Jun. “From Gunma.”  
  
Jun opened the pack in front of him, feeling the material under his fingertips. “It’s very fine.”  
  
“It’s silk,” Sho explained. “You do wear socks to work, right?”  
  
“That’s right,” Jun said, placing the socks back in their packaging. “Thank you. It’s a lovely gift.”  
  
Not as lovely as Jun’s, Sho thought.  
  
Sho gave the briefest of head tilts for a nod.  
  
“Do you want dessert?” Jun asked suddenly. “I have cheesecake.”  
  
Sho perked up, smiling. “I love cheesecake.”  
  
\--  
  
If someone were to ask Sho to name a few of his favorite things, Jun would rank high on his list. Not that he saw Jun as a thing, but he had this...thing with Jun that never failed to satisfy him and make him happy.  
  
It wasn’t dating, but they weren’t just fucking either. In fact, despite the duration of their arrangement, they never came close to actually fucking, save for last Saturday in which Sho’s first actual encounter with Jun’s cock had him taking all of it down his throat.  
  
Which he didn’t mind.  
  
What he had with Jun wasn’t something that bothered him; he wasn’t particular with labels. But whenever he’d let his thoughts drift to it during his boring work shifts, he’d come to realize that no other word felt as appropriate as _Saturday_.  
  
On Saturdays, particularly in the evenings, he was Jun’s.  
  
It was one of those things that had become a constant in Sho’s life.  
  
He was having lunch with Ohno when the man addressed Sho’s signup for _In the Room_.  
  
“Do you still use that website?” Ohno asked, watching him drink his latte.  
  
“No,” Sho said. He’d gotten a couple of email alerts, telling him that he had some private messages awaiting reply, but while he did check them, he hadn’t felt like replying to anyone.  
  
“Oh. I thought you still were because you no longer look sex-starved,” Ohno said nonchalantly, making Sho choke on his drink.  
  
Sho looked around before hissing, “Must you really put it like that?”  
  
“It’s true though,” Ohno told him, shrugging his shoulders. “You don’t whine about finding an awful profile on Tinder anymore. Is there someone now? Someone stable?”  
  
“Stable, yes,” Sho replied. “Having someone, that depends.”  
  
Ohno was frowning now. “Depends on what?”  
  
Jun wasn’t his boyfriend. Jun was, to put it simply, Sho’s Saturday Dom, someone who often cooked for him and sometimes brought him to good restaurants after their meeting. Jun had recently given him a gift, but it wasn’t the kind of gift that Sho could disclose to anyone.  
  
“Depends on what you mean with ‘someone’,” Sho clarified.  
  
“Ah, you’ve got a fuck buddy?” Ohno asked, smiling a bit.  
  
“Not exactly,” Sho said, face scrunching a little. He and Jun had never even kissed.  
  
“Friends with benefits?”  
  
Sho chuckled. “Close enough.”  
  
“Are you happy?” Ohno asked suddenly, expression shifting to concern.  
  
That question made Sho remember the nights he’d spent in Jun’s place, all the good food and great wine that he’d consumed, all the things Jun had him do because he’d consented to them.  
  
He was satisfied with their setup.  
  
He was happy, but only to a certain extent.  
  
“I think so,” Sho said anyway, not ready to address his true feelings until he was sure.  
  
“That’s great,” Ohno told him with a small grin. “If you think you’re happy, that sounds good enough.”  
  
“And yet,” Sho started, and immediately Ohno’s expression shifted to a frown, “sometimes I find myself wanting more.”  
  
“More?” Ohno repeated.  
  
“But I can’t ask for it because that’s not what we agreed on,” Sho continued, not bothering to explain. With Ohno, he rarely needed to explain; the man often didn’t ask and was content to listen to what Sho was comfortable to divulge.  
  
“I can’t say I understand,” Ohno told him, placing both elbows on the table and leaning forward, closer to Sho. “But sooner or later, you have to address these things, Sho-kun. Once you’re sure, you have to do something about them.”  
  
“I _have_ to?” Sho frowned. “Why?”  
  
“Because you might lose it, whatever it is,” Ohno said simply, like he knew something Sho didn’t. “Something tells me this isn’t something you want to lose, so make your feelings clear once you’re sure of them. I think the other party would appreciate that.”  
  
Sho took a breath, letting all of that sink in.  
  
“I can’t promise anything,” he said to Ohno, who only inclined his head, “but I’ll try.”  
  
Ohno gave an acknowledging nod before flashing Sho a little smile.  
  
“Another cup?” Ohno asked, lips twitching to point at Sho’s empty porcelain.  
  
Sho pushed the cup and its saucer in Ohno’s direction. “Please and thank you.”  
  
\--  
  
The talk Sho had with Ohno lingered in his head even weeks later. The more Saturdays he got to spend with Jun, the more he found himself wishing the hours would go slower so they’d have more time together.  
  
After their sixth-month mark, Sho got more and more acquainted with Jun’s cock in various ways, though most of it had him on his knees and trying to take all of Jun to the back of his throat in the shortest time possible. He’d gotten accustomed to the taste of Jun and the feel of him growing heavier on his tongue, to hearing Jun’s appreciative sighs and groans.  
  
One Saturday was made special when Jun finally fucked him as a reward. Apparently, Jun had won the favor of one company he had set his eyes on and became their official business advisor. Jun wanted to celebrate, and his email that week had him implying that they’d fuck tonight.  
  
After all, Jun did list condoms in the section that had the items they needed for tonight.  
  
Sho was on his knees, ass raised in the air and face mashed against the sheets until Jun tugged on the rope that held his wrists together to have him lift his trunk from the bed.  
  
The rope served as anchor for Jun as Jun drove into him faster and harder, need intensifying with each erratic movement. The zipper of Jun’s slacks was a foreign feeling against the flesh of his ass but he relished in it, smiling in bliss each time his hips met Jun’s in a loud smack.  
  
Jun finished ahead of him, grunting about Sho feeling so good and tight around him before letting go of his hold on Sho, allowing Sho to collapse back against the sheets. Jun slid out of him and he moaned at the loss, more so when Jun pushed him on his side to have him roll over.  
  
Sho had been so close; he thought he’d be able to come just from the feeling of Jun finally fucking him, but Jun made certain he wouldn’t by putting a ring around his cock even before they’d gotten to the bedroom.  
  
“Spit,” Jun ordered, pressing one of his ringed hands over Sho’s mouth.  
  
Sho did.  
  
With his saliva for lube, Jun got between Sho’s spread legs and fisted Sho’s cock, making Sho arch off the bed.  
  
His hands still bound, Sho planted his feet on the mattress so he could thrust into Jun’s fist, chest heaving as his orgasm neared the surface.  
  
Jun let him go and he groaned in frustration, but he felt Jun’s hands spreading his legs wider and he looked down, finding Jun leaning down, face so close to his cock and looking at him.  
  
“What do you need?” Jun husked, breathing air against his cock.  
  
Sho’s breath caught in his throat.  
  
“Please,” he said between clenched teeth, “please make me come.” He’d settle for Jun removing the ring; he was so ready to come.  
  
“No, that’s what you want,” Jun said. “I’ll ask again but this will be the last time: what do you need in order for you to get what you want?”  
  
Sho moistened his lips, knees shaking under Jun’s firm grip on them as he understood what Jun was offering.  
  
He could ask for Jun to take off the cock ring and Jun would. He could also ask for his binds to be removed so he could tend to himself, and he was positive Jun would untie him as soon as he finished asking.  
  
But seeing where Jun was right now, what Jun was willing to give him provided he asked for it—  
  
“I need your mouth, Matsumoto-san,” Sho said in a rush.  
  
His cock twitched right in front of Jun’s face.  
  
He saw Jun grin before Jun lowered himself, gripping Sho’s cock to guide it inside his mouth.  
  
Sho moaned the moment Jun’s warmth wrapped around him. His heels dug on the mattress in an effort to reel in the orgasm and not to finish so soon, not when he was finally feeling Jun’s mouth gliding over his length.  
  
Jun went slow, hollowing his cheeks purposefully and pulling off with a loud pop that echoed in the room before doing it again and driving Sho mad each time.  
  
The damn red cock ring was preventing him to come, which he figured was Jun’s intention for putting it on him in the first place.  
  
Jun rested one hand around the ring, meeting Sho’s eyes as he went for a thorough lick from base to tip. Sho’s mouth fell open, throat feeling too dry to form any words. Jun was lapping at the precome on the tip, not taking his eyes off Sho’s face.  
  
Sho felt fingers tickling his balls and he nearly jumped, hissing at the feeling of being teased so wonderfully. Jun went back to sucking him, head bobbing steadily between his legs.  
  
There was another obscene pop as Jun withdrew and Sho saw Jun relaxing his jaw.  
  
“Are you ready to come?” Jun asked, licking his now-swollen lips. He gave Sho a few strokes, the filthy sound ringing in Sho’s ears.  
  
Sho kept nodding, hips thrusting into the air involuntarily in hopes of having the bit of friction he needed.  
  
“You’ve been ready the moment I started fucking you,” Jun stated, giving Sho a squeeze.  
  
Sho nearly sobbed.  
  
“You can hold it for much longer,” Jun said, using both hands on Sho now, wrists going in swift revolutions and providing the perfect friction.  
  
“I can’t,” Sho breathed.  
  
“Yes you can,” Jun assured him.  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
“Do you want to stop?”  
  
Sho shook his head fiercely. “No.”  
  
“Then you can hold it.”  
  
Sho shuddered. “Please Jun, please let me come.”  
  
“Soon,” Jun promised. “You can hold it.” Jun smeared his precome over the head, hands not stilling in their movements. “Hold it for me.”  
  
If there was one thing Sho was a hundred percent certain about Jun, it was that Jun was a master at edging. Jun knew when to pull back and withdraw to let Sho catch his breath and have Sho’s orgasm subside a little before taking him to the brink again.  
  
Sho knew that was what would happen tonight, especially since Jun had already come.  
  
So Sho held on, clenching his hands into fists as he struggled to stave off his climax. His begging fell on deaf ears, and he tried to focus on regulating his breathing instead of Jun since Jun returned to sucking him off.  
  
The feel of Jun’s mouth was incredible with each smooth glide over his shaft and the corners of Sho’s vision began whiting out every time Jun hollowed his cheeks.  
  
“I can’t,” Sho said again, half-sobbing through each syllable. “Jun, please.”  
  
“You’re doing so well,” Jun husked, licking long lines on his cock. Jun cupped his balls began rolling them in his palm, timing it with a flick of his tongue over the head. “I want you to count.”  
  
“Jun—”  
  
“And when you reach twenty, you can come.”  
  
Jun allowed the tip of Sho’s cock to rest right on the flat of his tongue. “Start from one.”  
  
“One,” Sho uttered shakily, ending in a moan as Jun wrapped his lips around him again. Jun abandoned going slow, instead taking Sho to the back of his throat. Jun’s eyes narrowed, as if he was bragging he didn’t gag unlike Sho had multiple times.  
  
Out of breath, Sho kept counting, heat pooling in his groin as he got closer to twenty.  
  
He was on nineteen when Jun pulled off him, shoving two of his own fingers in his mouth before reaching down. Sho’s hips lifted from the bed the moment Jun’s fingers breached him. He was still loose from earlier but he wasn’t expecting Jun to fuck him with his fingers, locating his prostate with little trouble and stroking it in circles.  
  
“Twenty,” Sho choked, moaning Jun’s name when Jun finally removed the ring off him. He came in spasms, sobbing Jun’s name over and over as his vision snapped away and his mind blanked out.  
  
He gasped when he felt a sharp sting on the inside of his thigh and he immediately looked down, finding Jun sucking at the spot he bit at mere moments ago.  
  
Sho’s mind was still in a state of bliss to fully comprehend what was happening. Jun was still sucking on the meat of his thigh, nipping at the flesh, and by the time he moved to loom over Sho, Sho was still attempting to catch his breath.  
  
Jun brushed away the strands of his hair that had stuck to his face. The inside of Sho’s thigh tingled and he now realized that what Jun had done would undoubtedly leave a mark on him.  
  
Something for him to admire later.  
  
“Roll over,” Jun said softly.  
  
Sho did, eyes sliding shut the moment he had his face against the sheets. He felt Jun untying him and once he was free, he rolled to his back and found Jun looking at him.  
  
Sho was overcome with the desire to cuddle, to have Jun’s clothed body pressed against his own since he was beginning to feel so sore.  
  
But he didn’t know how to voice that out.  
  
Jun was eyeing his thigh and Sho shifted slightly to get Jun’s attention.  
  
“What do you need?” Jun asked softly, eyes snapping back to Sho’s face.  
  
Instead of replying, Sho opened his arms in invitation, heart thundering wildly in his ribcage.  
  
The look on Jun’s face registered pure shock, and for a few moments, they stared at each other unblinking.  
  
Until Jun turned away. “I’ll prepare the tub,” Jun mumbled, getting off the bed.  
  
Sho watched Jun walk away, trying to barrel through the sharp sting that had sliced through his chest. He lowered his arms in disappointment and hid his face behind his hands.  
  
What had he done?  
  
Instinctively, his body curled in on itself in shame at the blatant rejection he’d received from Jun.  
  
He could hear the water running and the tub getting filled, and as soon as the soreness began to ebb away, Sho picked up his clothes from where he’d left them, putting them on with haste and not minding how sticky he felt.  
  
He wanted to be away from here.  
  
Sho lingered on the bathroom doorway, wondering if he could look at Jun in the face. He felt so stupid and pathetic, but he didn’t want to be rude.  
  
He knocked on the door and only pushed it open halfway. “I have to go,” he managed to say. “I can get home on my own. You don’t have to drop me off.”  
  
He could hear the faucet being turned off and he gripped the doorknob tight. Jun was approaching the door but Sho kept his gaze down. “Thank you for tonight. I’ll go.”  
  
“Wait, Sho-san,” Jun said, but Sho pulled the door shut and made his exit, body operating on muscle memory.  
  
Sho was able to reach the train platform before he registered the discomfort. His jeans grazed the inside of his thigh and he hissed, realizing that the mark Jun had left on him had already chafed.  
  
He checked his watch and the time read 12:03.  
  
It was Sunday.


	4. Chapter 4

There were no messages from Jun after that night. Sho didn’t have the courage to send a casual text after what had happened; he could still recall the look in Jun’s eyes and how Jun had turned away from him.  
  
It hurt, being rejected like that.  
  
He waited for an entire week but he received no email, at least none from Jun, and on the Saturday of that week, once he was certain Jun would never send him anything, he went to the café after his shift in the library and asked for Ohno’s best latte.  
  
Ohno brought it over with a foam art of Totoro smiling, and Sho managed a weak smile at the sight of it.  
  
“Bad day?” Ohno asked. He slid into the chair across Sho’s, concern evident in his eyes.  
  
“It didn’t go well,” Sho said, finding that he couldn’t lie, not to Ohno.  
  
Ohno was frowning. “What didn’t?”  
  
“I was so sure,” Sho said, shaking his head at the memory. Ohno always had that uncanny ability to make him talk despite asking minimal questions. “I had been so sure, Satoshi-kun. So I went for it.”  
  
Ohno’s eyes were narrowed, an expression of confusion etched on his face.  
  
“It didn’t go well,” Sho repeated, a snort escaping from him. He sampled his latte and not even its rich taste could make him smile. “I shouldn’t have done it. But I kept thinking if I didn’t, I’d never know.”  
  
It took a while for Ohno to speak, but when he did, Sho couldn’t take his eyes off him.  
  
“Did you ever tell them?” Ohno asked quietly. “How you really feel?”  
  
“Not verbally,” Sho clarified.  
  
Ohno’s head was tilted to the side. “You made it sound that you were rejected even if you didn’t.”  
  
“Because I was.”  
  
“Without them knowing how you truly felt?”  
  
Sho shook his head. “In spite of that, I was still rejected. It was so...humiliating. I wanted to flee. So I did.”  
  
“And since then, you never saw them?”  
  
Sho knew it was a Saturday today. Usually, after his shift, he’d be preparing himself to meet Jun come evening. He was so used to having his Suica card ready in his pocket as he waited for their appointed hour to arrive that now, he had no idea what to do since he couldn’t do that anymore.  
  
“No,” Sho replied.  
  
“I think you should tell them,” Ohno said after a brief moment of silence.  
  
Sho stared at the man. “What else is left for me to say?”  
  
“The truth,” Ohno answered simply. “If they’re as important to you as you think they are, you have to tell them. Even if they are going to reject you. You’d feel better, having said it out loud.”  
  
“That’s...a strange way of approaching it,” Sho said, imagining the scenario.  
  
Ohno shrugged. “Well, I don’t exactly know what’s going on here; I’m just going with what I’m picking up from you. But in our past conversations, you made it clear you’ve got good communication going on with this person. So I thought that maybe you could use that to your own advantage.”  
  
Sho fished out his phone from his pocket, finding no messages in any apps. He hesitated on tapping on his LINE thread with Jun, but Ohno’s words rang in the back of his head.  
  
“I’m going to regret this,” Sho said as soon as he tapped on the text box.  
  
“Maybe,” Ohno said unhelpfully. “But who knows?”  
  
 _I have something to tell you_ , was what Sho keyed in. He deleted the last two words and replaced it with _say_ before deleting that again and retyping the original.  
  
He reread his message until he got sick of it and tapped Send.  
  
“There,” Sho declared, meeting Ohno’s gaze, “I sent a message.”  
  
Ohno pointed to his lip. “You’ve got foam.”  
  
Sho wiped it away using the back of his hand.  
  
“And with that, I wish you good luck,” Ohno said with a smile.  
  
Sho thanked Ohno, figuring he’d need it.  
  
\--  
  
For the next two weeks, Sho received nothing save for the Read notification in the LINE thread, indicating that Jun had seen his message but had chosen not to reply to it.  
  
The sting Sho felt at that reality was hard to ignore. Weeks ago, for more than seven months in fact, he’d exchange messages with Jun and they’d plan their weekend together. While those weekends had mostly revolved around sex, there had been nights wherein Jun had tried out recipes for Sho and cooked Sho’s favorites. They’d even watched some of their favorite movies together, especially whenever they’d finished early and had hours left of their Saturday.  
  
Jun had become a part of his routine and it was difficult to shake him off despite his absence. Jun haunted him, and sometimes, Sho dreamt of Jun and everything they’d done.  
  
Only for him to wake up feeling more awful than before since things hadn’t ended in the right way between them.  
  
He was wallowing in self-pity and perhaps moping when he finally received a response. It was on a rainy Saturday, a month after his message and since he’d last seen Jun.  
  
 _What is it?_ was Jun’s overdue reply.  
  
 _In person_ , Sho clarified, but he made sure to wait for ten minutes before typing and sending it so he wouldn’t look too eager. Did Jun only check the thread because he felt lonely? Rainy days tend to make people lonely, Sho thought.  
  
Was Sho only a fallback?  
  
 _I don’t think it’ll be wise for us to meet again. We can’t see each other anymore_ , was Jun’s response after almost five minutes.  
  
Sho gripped his phone tight, reining in the bubble of burning rage that coursed through him. _I don’t care what you think. I have something to say to you. And I won’t stop until you get to hear it._  
  
Stop running, Sho wanted to scream if only Jun were right in front of him. Stop running away from me.  
  
His phone vibrated with another message. _9 PM tonight. Same bar. I’ll be waiting._  
  
Sho checked the time and saw that Jun’s appointed time was only two hours away.  
  
He let the Read notification become his response and began counting down to the hours.  
  
\--  
  
As payback for the last time, Sho arrived in the private booth reserved under Jun’s name fifteen minutes later. He had to stop by the door for a moment to reel in his emotions; he hadn’t seen Jun in what felt like so long.  
  
Jun wore another fedora that was as ugly as the one he’d worn the first time they’d officially met. He had the thick-rimmed glasses on, not the rounded ones that he often wore when he was at home.  
  
Sho hated how much he was able to remember. Jun felt like an imprint, as striking and as vivid as the mark he’d left on Sho’s thigh on the last night they’d been together.  
  
Sho slid into the seat across Jun without so much as a hello, opting to say nothing until his specified drink arrived and the waiter politely shut the door.  
  
“I won’t apologize for making you wait,” was what Sho decided to say at first. “And no, I had no printer problems to speak of.”  
  
“So you enjoyed making me anxious, thinking you might not arrive at all?” Jun asked, and his voice sounded hollow and devoid of emotion.  
  
“Yes,” Sho said, not bothering to lie. “It was how I felt the first time we saw each other. I gathered you enjoyed doing that so I wanted to give it a shot.”  
  
“I didn’t do that out of cruelty,” Jun said slowly, pointedly.  
  
Sho simply met his gaze. “You’re the one who took more than two weeks to respond and you’re calling me cruel?” A laugh managed to escape from him, dry and sarcastic. He took a deep breath. “As soon as I get to say what I have to say, I’ll be going.”  
  
Jun’s eyes narrowed under the brim of his hat, but Sho merely continued, “You said it wasn’t wise for us to meet anymore. So I’ll try not to take too much of your time.” He squared his shoulders before taking a generous sip of the scotch he’d ordered. He needed the burning rush of alcohol. “The last time…”  
  
“You mean the last time we’ve been toge—we’ve seen one another?” Jun asked.  
  
“Yes.” Sho gave Jun a look. “Please don’t interrupt.”  
  
“Sorry,” Jun said, extending his palm as a gesture for Sho to continue.  
  
“That time, I did what I did because I hoped,” Sho admitted, keeping his eyes on the amber liquid inside his glass. He could feel Jun’s stare on him and he willed himself not to react. “I hoped despite knowing it was a stupid thing to do.”  
  
“Why did you do it then? If you knew it was stupid?” Jun asked, but he spoke in hushed tones, like he was holding something in and was afraid someone would hear them despite the impossibility of that happening.  
  
“Because I liked you,” Sho said plainly, stupidly. He’d file this moment as another huge mistake as soon as he leaves this place, but he had to say it. Ohno had been right; he had to make things clear. “I liked you too much that for a moment, I forgot what we really were to each other.”  
  
He lifted his gaze and stared at Jun’s face, taking it in for the last time. “I still do, by the way. Which is stupid, but I’ll get over it soon, hopefully. I just had to say it. I read somewhere that declaring things as they are was the first step in letting them go so here I am trying that out.”  
  
Sho picked up his glass and finished whatever remained of his drink. “So there. I’ll go now. Our time together was...informative, I guess. And fun. I don’t regret a thing.”  
  
“Are you saying goodbye?” Jun asked quietly.  
  
“What else is left for me to say?” Sho sighed, hating the compression he was feeling in his chest. It felt too tight and suffocating; every breath was a task. “I didn’t come here looking for an answer. I just needed you to hear me out and you already did that.”  
  
“Why are you talking as if you already know what I have to say?” Jun asked, and now he sounded frustrated and borderline angry. He took off the hat and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
Sho had to look away. “One rejection was enough, Matsumoto-san.” He didn’t want to use Jun’s name; he was afraid of the effect it still had on him. “You don’t need to add another nail in the coffin. You did say we can’t see one another anymore.”  
  
“And I stand by that,” Jun said stubbornly.  
  
Sho wanted to hit him; his chest ached at every word.  
  
“We can’t see each other anymore,” Jun stated. “We can’t...do what we’ve been doing. Not anymore.”  
  
“And you said I’m the cruel one,” Sho said, managing a weak laugh. Jun knew Sho liked him. He knew, and he still said such a thing to Sho’s face.  
  
Sho wondered how desperate he must look that Jun saw fit to remind him of how things stood between them since that night. They used to have a good relationship, but it fell apart in a moment of vulnerability. Sho blamed himself, but he also couldn’t help hating Jun for being so heartless with his statements.  
  
Sho tried to muster some strength in his legs so he could move and get as far away from here as possible. Why was he sitting here and enduring such a harsh thing from a person who had rejected him multiple times?  
  
Jun wasn’t worth all this.  
  
Sho fished Jun’s key from his pocket and toyed with it for a few moments. “Can I just ask a few things before I go?” he asked, keeping his eyes down. He’d return the key once he had his answers.  
  
In his periphery, he caught Jun nodding.  
  
“What made you say such a thing to my face? Did I ever do something that warranted it? Have I hurt you unknowingly? Is this...payback?” His voice cracked, and he released a shuddering breath.  
  
Pathetic, Sho thought. He was downright pathetic. He wanted to forget this night.  
  
He sneaked a glance in Jun’s direction and saw Jun looking so lost.  
  
“Sho-san,” Jun said, and Sho shook his head.  
  
“Please don’t say my name,” he begged, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to remember the way Jun uttered his name. “Please just answer the questions so I can take my leave.”  
  
Jun shook his head slowly. “No. In all the months we had together, you’ve never done anything wrong.”  
  
So Jun was simply a cruel person? Sho liked to think otherwise despite the situation. Jun had been nothing but honest to him from day one. Exacting in his demands but unfailingly honest, unless he was deliberately being obtuse in an attempt to hide something.  
  
“I was happy in those months,” Jun said, flashing him a sad smile. Sho stared; he was struck with the sincerity he could hear in Jun’s tone. “I was happy every Saturday. Our arrangement was that we’d meet every Saturday, and you’d hand over everything to me.”  
  
Jun paused, giving him a soft look.  
  
“On Saturdays, you belonged to me,” Jun muttered. “And I’ve never been happier.”  
  
It was Saturday today, and Sho exhaled in a rush as he remembered. “If you were happy with it, why say that we can’t do it anymore? What’s stopping you from making a commitment now?”  
  
Jun sighed, a shaky puff of breath that made his bottom lip tremble.  
  
“Saturdays are no longer enough,” Jun answered, his eyes shut.  
  
Sho stilled, more so when Jun opened his eyes to look at him.  
  
“That’s why I didn’t,” Jun explained, the angle of his lips quirked upwards. “That night, when you opened your arms in invitation, I didn’t accept because I knew if I did, I’d be breaking what we agreed on.”  
  
“Breaking how?” The teeth of Jun’s key were biting onto Sho’s palm because of how tight he was gripping it.  
  
“Because I wouldn’t let you go,” Jun admitted. “And that’s selfish; I only take whatever you give me, nothing more.”  
  
“I was giving it,” Sho insisted. “Look at me.”  
  
Jun did.  
  
“I was giving it,” Sho repeated, meaning every word. “I opened my arms because I wanted you. Not because you gave me this mind-blowing orgasm—though it was a huge factor and what pushed me into going for it in the first place. But I did it because I wanted you. I offered that willingly.”  
  
“I’m selfish,” Jun almost whispered, eyeing Sho warily. “You don’t even know how much.”  
  
Sho arched an eyebrow. “I have more than seven months of experience; I think I know how much we’re talking about here.”  
  
Jun shook his head fiercely. “That’s nothing compared to how it really is. Do you understand? I called it off because you were entering something you had no idea about. You were in this just for the experience.”  
  
“That was before I liked you,” Sho pointed out. “Why are you making this so difficult? Why are you holding yourself back?”  
  
When Jun turned his head away, Sho resisted the temptation to slam his hand down the table’s surface.  
  
“Honesty, Jun,” he said instead. “You promised me you’d be honest with me as long as I did the same. And right now, I am. So won’t you reciprocate?”  
  
Jun leaned back in his seat, and under the light, he looked so fatigued and weary.  
  
“I want you to be happy,” Jun said plainly, seriously. It caught Sho by surprise. “Always. Our agreement worked as long as you were happy; you being happy was enough for me. Until it wasn’t and I wanted more from you, and I lost control.”  
  
Sho’s hand flew to clutch at the inside of his thigh. The mark Jun had left on him had already faded, but the feeling of Jun sucking the skin sore had lingered.  
  
“You left a hickey,” Sho said, reeling in his smile at the sight of Jun’s ears turning pink. “In the most inconvenient of places at that; it chafed. But I liked it.”  
  
Jun’s confused expression only spurred Sho to go on. “I liked the feeling of it. That night didn’t end well, but the morning after, no matter how much it stung, I treasured it. That was your mark. You left it on me and I liked it. I felt yours, like you truly wanted me. Is that still true?”  
  
Jun gave an almost imperceptible tilt of his head for an answer.  
  
Not wanting to give up, Sho placed both elbows on the table so he could lean forward and see Jun’s face. “Do you want me?”  
  
He didn’t miss how Jun’s jaw clenched. “Yes. Always.”  
  
Molten heat pooled in Sho’s gut—a familiar feeling he hadn’t had in a while. “It’s still Saturday.”  
  
Jun’s eyes fluttered shut. “We can’t.”  
  
“Why not? Why not when it’s a Saturday?”  
  
“Because you never agreed to any of this,” Jun reminded him. “You were mine, but only for as long as you don’t say cilantro. Outside the scenarios and whatever we agreed on, the Saturday rule doesn’t hold.”  
  
“I’m older than you, Jun,” Sho pointed out. “I may not be as much of an expert like you when it came to this, but I’m an adult. I know what I want and am asking for it, which is why I’m asking you: do you want me back?”  
  
“And I already told you that I do,” Jun said, sounding frustrated. “But we can’t.”  
  
“Because you’re selfish and you think I can’t handle it?” Sho crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m selfish too, you know. We weren’t monogamous, but I never wanted anyone else since I started this with you.”  
  
Jun let out a small chuckle. “Is that right.”  
  
“Don’t gloat, and don’t try to escape the discussion.”  
  
“I’m amused because I haven’t been with anyone else since I had your Saturdays, and it took me three months of being with you before I even realized that I didn’t want to have anybody who isn’t you.” Jun was shaking his head now. “Do you know what you’re asking for?”  
  
“Yes,” Sho said. “I’m asking for you to take what you want because I’m giving it.”  
  
Jun inhaled sharply, and Sho saw how he got his hands clenched into fists.  
  
“Meet me halfway, Jun,” Sho said with a small, hopeful smile. “Is that so hard? We managed to do that once; we can do it again.”  
  
“I won’t give you to anyone,” Jun declared, eyes locked on to Sho’s. “That’s how selfish I am.”  
  
“I don’t mind,” Sho said honestly. “I don’t want anyone else.”  
  
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Jun was looking at him as if he was gauging how serious Sho was, and Sho met his stare head-on to clear any doubts from his mind.  
  
“Come home with me,” Jun whispered, and Sho caught the hope in his voice, the fear of rejection with the way his voice trembled.  
  
Sho couldn’t help the smile that crept up his face. “Absolutely.”  
  
\--  
  
Sho was expecting Jun’s car, but instead Jun led him to the train platform. They could’ve taken a taxi, but Sho figured Jun was trying to give him an out in case he changed his mind.  
  
Jun had been so confident in all those other nights, but right now he was a bundle of nerves and uncertainties, and Sho wanted to do away with each so Jun would stop overthinking their situation.  
  
They didn’t exchange a word inside the train, but Jun kept sending him furtive glances, as if he was checking that Sho was there and had every intention to get off in the same station.  
  
The trip to Jun’s place was unhurried, and instead of the elevator, Jun opted for the stairs, leaving Sho with no choice but to follow. The climb was as quiet as the rest of their trip, and when they reached the door of Jun’s apartment, Jun let out a breath.  
  
Sho decided to speak before Jun could. “If you’re giving me an out, I’m not taking it. I want this. I’m serious about this.”  
  
He caught Jun smiling as Jun unlocked the door. “You’ll always have an out. I’ll always give you one.”  
  
“Then I’ll always reject it,” Sho declared simply, stepping inside after Jun and shutting the door behind him. He inhaled and smelled nothing but Jun, and he felt at home.  
  
Jun removed his hat and jacket, depositing them on the hooks of his coat rack.  
  
“This isn’t so simple,” Jun said, facing him. Behind his glasses were tired eyes, bags nearly reaching the level of his nasal bridge.  
  
Sho laughed. “Nothing ever is. Not with you.”  
  
Jun gave him an unamused look, but it only made him laugh more.  
  
“It’s true,” Sho said, shoulders shaking in mirth. “Who made this rule that we can’t contact each other unless it was to talk about our meetup? Do you have any idea how inconvenient that was?”  
  
“Inconvenient?” Jun frowned.  
  
Sho merely nodded. “I wanted to tell you so many things. But no, all I could show you was photos of my fingernails as proof that I wasn’t biting onto them out of nervousness. I really wanted to show you the library’s book acquisitions; I know you like books. I wanted to recommend titles to you.”  
  
Jun removed his glasses and folded them, fingers moving slowly and gracefully. He was smiling. “Do you still have these titles?”  
  
Sho tried not to look too affected. “Yeah,” he said as nonchalantly as he could manage.  
  
“Tell me later then,” Jun said before handing the glasses to him. “Hold these.”  
  
Sho took them.  
  
“Hold them as I undress you.”  
  
That made Sho’s grip around the frames tighten—Jun had never undressed him before. Jun had always ordered him to strip, always contented himself with watching Sho lose one article of clothing after another, but that was then.  
  
How long did Jun suppress the desire to undo each button, to pull zippers down in his own pace?  
  
Jun took things slowly, pushing Sho’s jacket off his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. Jun took one step back, towards his flat since they were still at the genkan, but his hands remained on Sho, clutching at Sho’s shirt.  
  
They took steps together—Jun going backwards and Sho forwards—each time they discarded a piece of Sho’s outfit. Sho helped Jun by moving his limbs accordingly, and by the time they made it to Jun’s bedroom, Sho was naked and only had Jun’s glasses in his hand. Jun took the glasses from him and placed it on the dresser before facing him once more.  
  
Jun placed one palm flat on Sho’s chest, right over the skin of his heart. Instinctively, Sho reached for Jun’s pulse, grasping the bones of Jun’s pale wrist as Jun continued to feel for his heartbeat.  
  
For a minute, Sho simply _felt_. Jun’s pulse was quicker and stronger in amplitude—a proof of his nervousness. No matter how hard Sho’s heart thumped in his ribcage, Jun’s heart rate exceeded his.  
  
“I can feel your heart,” Jun whispered, eyes soft. He looked like he didn’t fully comprehend what he’d just said.  
  
“I’m just as scared as you,” Sho said instead, and Jun’s eyes instantly focused on his. He tightened his grip on Jun’s wrist in case Jun would think of pulling away. “But I want this. I really want this.”  
  
“I want you,” Jun admitted. “I’ve always wanted you.”  
  
At that, Sho let Jun go, only to take Jun’s face in his hands. He’d always wanted to hold Jun like this, to have the texture of his skin beneath his fingertips. As attractive as Jun was, he wasn’t perfect; he had tiny craters on his face left by acne and Sho wanted to kiss every mark that littered his face.  
  
Jun felt real under Sho’s touch, human and vulnerable, and Sho’s heart swelled at the raw emotion on Jun’s face.  
  
“You have me,” Sho said. “You can do anything you want to me.”  
  
Jun shuddered, his long eyelashes fanning his cheeks as his eyes fluttered shut.  
  
“But I don’t know what to do,” Sho continued, and Jun looked at him once more, expression fond and affectionate. “So guide me.”  
  
Jun held his wrists, gently prying Sho’s hands from his face. Sho could only watch as Jun kissed his knuckles, the slow brushes of his lips a little ticklish. Jun’s mouth traveled until he reached Sho’s wrists, repeatedly kissing the whites.  
  
“Do you trust me?” Jun asked softly.  
  
Sho didn’t hesitate. “Yes. Of course.”  
  
Jun stroked the side of his face. “Get on the bed.”  
  
“On my knees?” Sho asked; whenever Jun would ask him to get on the bed, it was either on his hands and knees or with his head hanging off the edge.  
  
Jun smiled, shaking his head. “I want you to lie on the center of my bed, your back against my sheets,” Jun said against his ear. “It’s been too long since I could smell you off them.”  
  
“You did miss me,” Sho concluded, grinning. “How often—?”  
  
“Every time I had to drop you off after driving you home,” Jun answered. “Happy?”  
  
“Very,” Sho said; his smile could split his face. “You’re hard to read most of the time because of your features, so hearing these things make me happy.”  
  
Jun nudged him towards the bed and he finally relented, fluffing the pillows before resting his back comfortably on them. Jun’s sheets were crisp and smelled like fresh linen, the intricate pattern sewn into them was something Sho’s fingers followed like a path.  
  
He turned to his left when he heard the bedside drawer opening, and he immediately lifted his arms in cooperation as soon as he saw the cuffs.  
  
“How do you want to use them on me?” he asked.  
  
“I want to strap you to my headboard,” Jun said.  
  
Sho maintained both of his arms raised above his head, relishing in the soft clink emitted by the cuffs locking into place. His arms strung up had him completely bare before Jun, and Jun straddled him despite being fully clothed.  
  
“How come your jeans have slits on the knee?” Sho asked curiously. Jun wore tight-fitting ones, a pair which encased his thighs gloriously, but the knee slits were something Sho didn’t expect.  
  
“It’s called style,” Jun told him, hands flat on his chest. “These are YSL.”  
  
Sho laughed, loud in the silence of Jun’s apartment. He didn’t even flinch when Jun pinched his side. “I’m not even surprised it’s that expensive.”  
  
“I’ll have you know I won’t be a cheap date,” Jun informed him, hands roaming over his torso, marking territory.  
  
“The silk socks weren’t cheap,” Sho said, hissing when Jun pinched his nipple, causing it to harden.  
  
Jun cupped Sho’s jaw, tongue clucking against his palate. “How come you weren’t so talkative in the other times we did this?”  
  
Sho blinked. “Aside from the fact that you had me gagged eight times out of ten so every word I tried to say was incomprehensible?”  
  
“Aside from that.”  
  
Sho shrugged his shoulders, or at least as much as he could with his arms raised. “I wasn’t that nervous. Talking helps.”  
  
“But now you’re going to shut up and watch me,” Jun said, placing a finger over Sho’s lips. “I’ve long wanted to do this.”  
  
Sho was about to ask “do what” but Jun ducked and began raining kisses on his skin, licking up bony prominences and sucking noisily at any dip his mouth came across. Sho squirmed under Jun’s mouth, at the attention Jun was lavishing him with. Jun had never been this patient and explorative. Sho sighed happily, biting his bottom lip when Jun started to suck at his nipple.  
  
“Jun,” Sho gasped, spine curving under the heat of Jun’s mouth. “I want you.”  
  
“You’ll have me,” Jun promised, running a teasing thumb over Sho’s clavicle.  
  
Jun moved off him and Sho watched open-mouthed as Jun began taking off his shirt, tossing it behind him. Jun’s torso was as muscular as Sho had imagined, his chest and shoulders taking up most of his bulk.  
  
Sho licked his lips, eyes fixated on the beauty mark beside Jun’s left nipple.  
  
“Like what you see?” Jun asked, sounding smug.  
  
Sho rolled his eyes. “Forgive me for staring, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen you naked.” If Sho would be asked to enumerate all the parts of Jun’s body that he’d seen aside from Jun’s face, neck, and hands, Jun’s cock was the only body part he could answer.  
  
Which he was looking at right now, smirking at the sight of it tenting in Jun’s tight jeans.  
  
Jun, having noticed Sho’s line of sight, began palming himself through his pants. Sho moistened his lips unconsciously; it had been too long since he’d tasted Jun.  
  
“What do you want?” Jun asked.  
  
“You,” Sho answered in a rush.  
  
Jun smiled. “Be more specific.”  
  
“Let me suck you off,” Sho said.  
  
Jun climbed over his chest as he unzipped his jeans, and Sho wasn’t even surprised at Jun’s lack of underwear. A pair of jeans that tight—of course Jun went commando.  
  
Sho was grateful for it, lips parting the moment Jun took hold of himself and husked above him, “Open.”  
  
Having Jun’s length sliding against his tongue was a familiar but a sorely missed feeling. Sho couldn’t help moaning in appreciation, hearing Jun’s quiet “fuck” as vibrations ran through the shaft. Jun began with shallow thrusts, pulling back just to have Sho gasping and drooling.  
  
Sho was aware that Jun’s precious YSL now had his saliva, but a glance on Jun’s face told him Jun didn’t mind. Jun’s eyes were dark and zeroed on his mouth, at the way he opened the moment Jun had the tip of his cock touch Sho’s lips.  
  
Determined to satisfy Jun, Sho hummed around each suck, hollowing his cheeks whenever Jun would go as far as he could, till he could reach Sho’s throat. Sho missed being used by Jun like this and his body thrummed in happiness.  
  
Jun had the muscles of Sho’s throat clenching and unclenching around the tip before he withdrew, making Sho gasp as a thread of glistening saliva clung to Sho’s bottom lip. His mouth felt sore but the throb was welcomed, and from the way Jun was eyeing his lips, Sho was certain the mess on his chin wasn’t an issue.  
  
Jun left the bed to shuck off his jeans, and finally, he was completely naked. His cock was hard and wet thanks to Sho’s mouth, curving prettily up his navel, and Sho gave himself time to appreciate everything he could see: Jun’s thick, pale thighs, his flushed cock, the lack of hair on his lower extremities.  
  
A dip on the mattress signalled that Jun had rejoined him on the bed, and Jun positioned himself between Sho’s legs, hooking an arm under his knee to expose his hole.  
  
He was expecting Jun to reach for the lube and start preparing him, but instead Jun anchored his ankle over a broad shoulder and planted kisses on his calf.  
  
Sho felt loved, sighing contentedly as Jun littered his skin with soft kisses. It served as a distraction; he was a bit startled by the feeling of a cold and slick finger circling his hole but he relaxed eventually, allowing Jun to begin stretching him.  
  
He settled for a quiet sigh as Jun added another finger, both moving in and out of him with ease. He found Jun looking at him, watching his face as a finger grazed his prostate. Sho’s hips lifted off the bed, but Jun’s hold on his leg pulled him back down.  
  
At three fingers, Sho was nearly mewling. “Please,” he begged, riding Jun’s fingers. “Please, Jun.” He was ready, so ready that he was dripping for Jun’s cock, clenching around Jun’s digits.  
  
Jun shifted to reach for the nightstand, but Sho shook his head.  
  
“Don’t,” he said. “I want to feel you.”  
  
Jun’s eyes widened, hand freezing mid-air. “Are you sure?”  
  
“You asked me earlier if I trust you,” Sho said. “I’ve never been so sure.”  
  
Instead of replying, Jun put down his leg and ducked, his mouth latching onto the crest of Sho’s hip, repeatedly sucking on the bony part with the intention of leaving a mark. When Jun seemed satisfied with his latest creation, he rested his cheek against Sho’s stomach, hands clutching territorially on Sho’s hips.  
  
“I like you,” Jun whispered against his navel, kissing the small hole left by Sho’s former piercing.  
  
Sho sniffed, feeling overwhelmed. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”  
  
Jun kissed his navel once more. “I won’t keep you waiting anymore.”  
  
Jun grabbed the lube and squirted a generous amount on his palm, reaching down to slick himself thoroughly. Sho spread his legs without any prompting, allowing Jun to line himself up, sighing as soon as Jun slid inside him.  
  
He hooked his legs around Jun’s thighs, taking measured breaths as he bottomed out. Jun had braced himself by placing both palms beside his head, and Sho gave him a nod to indicate that he was ready.  
  
Jun moved. It was slow but every thrust had Sho groaning; Jun was pulling out until only the head of his cock was inside before slamming all the way in. His thrusts were evenly paced, like he wanted to savor each time his body collided with Sho’s.  
  
Sho turned his head to the side, breathing hard as he tried to meet each snap of Jun’s hips.  
  
“Look at me,” Jun grunted above him, and Sho did. “I didn’t get to see your face the last time.”  
  
Jun punctuated his order with a sharp thrust, one that had Sho tugging at his restraints. The metal chain of the cuffs clinked and Jun increased his tempo, his brows coming together as he focused on fucking Sho.  
  
Seeing the concentration on Jun’s face and the fiery look in Jun’s eyes, Sho couldn’t help gasping between his groans. “I wish,” he tried, ending in a moan when Jun hit something that sent electricity down to his toes, “I wish I was wearing the collar right now.”  
  
He heard Jun inhale sharply, retaliating by not holding back. Sho almost laughed, except that air felt trapped in his lungs with each movement.  
  
“Imagine it. If I wore it, every time you open your eyes, you’re going to see what’s yours,” Sho grunted, meeting Jun’s frenzied movements halfway with each buck of his hips.  
  
Jun cursed, and he reached up, fingers fumbling for the lock of the cuffs. One of Sho’s wrists got freed in its binds, dropping to the mattress before Sho’s fingers gripped the sheets tight.  
  
“Choose,” Jun husked, mouthing wetly at the shell of his ear. “Either you touch yourself and make yourself come or you touch me as I fuck you.”  
  
Sho’s cock twitched at the offer, demanding friction now that Sho could give it.  
  
The choice was easy.  
  
Sho wrapped an arm around Jun’s back, nails digging into firm muscle as Jun drove into him. He bared his neck, letting Jun nip at his rushed pulse. He scratched and left scarlet lines when Jun lost his rhythm, making Jun hiss as he mindlessly chased after his pleasure.  
  
“In me,” Sho choked, refusing to let Jun go. He tightened his legs around Jun’s thighs, his free hand clutching at Jun’s shoulder. “Come in me.”  
  
“Sho,” Jun was saying, his orgasm within reach. “Sho, _Sho_ —”  
  
Sho held on, sighing when he felt Jun’s warm release inside him. Jun’s cock slid in and out of him a few more times as Jun rode his orgasm out, before Jun collapsed right on top of him, panting in exhaustion against his jaw.  
  
His nails dug in Jun’s biceps when Jun reached for his cock, jerking him off in fast, sure strokes.  
  
“Come for me,” Jun demanded breathlessly, teeth nipping at the curve of his jaw. “You’ve been so good. You’re such a good boy, come for me like a good boy.”  
  
Sho’s body shook as his thighs tingled, cock twitching in Jun’s grip as he spilled between their bodies. His release hit his abdomen and Jun’s, but he felt so out of it, pleasantly floating someplace else.  
  
When his high had subsided, his wrists were both free and Jun was lying on his side, one hand stroking his cheek tenderly.  
  
Despite the bone-deep exhaustion Sho could feel, he pushed himself up a bit and shut his eyes, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jun’s mouth.  
  
Jun gripped his jaw tight, eyes searching his.  
  
Sho froze and time seemed to have stopped—did he get carried away again?  
  
Jun tugged his face close, and Sho squeaked in surprise when Jun bridged the gap and kissed him.  
  
This was the first time.  
  
On instinct, Sho reached up and grabbed what he could. Jun’s hair, Jun’s nape, the sides of Jun’s face—he just wanted to know if it was real. They’d never kissed before; Jun had never taken the initiative and Sho had stuck with the rules all this time.  
  
He parted his lips for Jun’s tongue and moaned against Jun’s mouth, melting against the sheets as Jun kissed him thoroughly, staking a claim over this part of his body, stealing all the oxygen from his lungs.  
  
Sho tugged Jun on top of him, meeting every kiss eagerly, enthusiastically. Jun tasted like wine and cigarettes, but each swipe of his tongue against Sho’s was a feeling Sho wasn’t used to yet, and he wanted more even if he found it difficult to breathe.  
  
Jun broke the kiss eventually, panting against his mouth. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you.”  
  
“Why didn’t you?” Sho asked, giving in to another kiss. “You knew I’d let you do anything you wanted to me.”  
  
Jun’s laugh sounded better when he did it right over Sho’s overused and sore lips. “That’s precisely why I didn’t. I never kissed you because I knew you’d let me on a Saturday. I wanted to do it once I had the knowledge that you were kissing me back not because you had to, but because you wanted to.”  
  
“I do want to,” Sho assured him, pressing his mouth against Jun’s once more. “I don’t know if I can stop.”  
  
Jun’s chuckle was infectious. “You’re being ridiculous. Of course you can stop.”  
  
“Not anytime soon. Kiss me.” Jun did, a rather noisy peck that had Sho wanting more. “Kiss me again.” Jun obliged, and Sho linked his arms around Jun’s nape. “Again.” They shared another, one that was longer than the previous. “And again.” Jun nipped on his bottom lip before he withdrew, but he didn’t go far, brushing his lips over Sho’s in featherlight touches. “To make up for all the times we didn’t when we both wanted to.”  
  
Jun grabbed his shoulders and rolled to his back, and being on top, Sho was given more control. He kissed Jun the way he’d always wanted to, not caring if he could no longer distinguish Jun’s taste from the feel inside his mouth. They kept at it for a long while, until Sho had to pull away.  
  
“My lips ache,” he complained.  
  
Jun laughed, brushing away the hair that concealed his forehead before dropping a soft kiss there. “Then I did my job.”  
  
Sho felt Jun’s arms looping possessively around his waist. They were both sticky, sweat cooling off their skin and on the drenched sheets, but for once, Jun didn’t seem to mind. Jun was touching his face, looking at him like there was something he hadn’t seen before.  
  
“Next Saturday,” Jun began, and Sho hummed in question, “I want us to go to this seaside restaurant. They have your favorites: abalone, clams, oysters, scallops—you name it. We can even grill it ourselves.”  
  
Sho couldn’t hold back his delighted smile. “Jun, that sounds like a date.”  
  
“It _is_ a date,” Jun said. “You can say no if you’re not ready. I’ll understand.”  
  
Sho shook his head, burying his face in the junction of Jun’s neck and shoulder. “Why would I say no?” He kissed the beauty mark under his lips. “I want it. I want it all. I want to be with you.”  
  
Jun held him tight, nosing his hair. “I’m sorry for that time.”  
  
“Forgiven,” Sho said, smiling against Jun’s neck. “But only if you make good on that dinner promise.”  
  
Jun snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “I’ll make a reservation.”  
  
Sho said nothing, instead settling into the comfort provided by Jun’s arms around him and the bulk of Jun’s body under his. The discomfort of their coupling from earlier was easy to ignore, at least for a few moments.  
  
“Jun?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
Sho had to swallow a lump in his throat in order to say what he’d realized. “It’s no longer Saturday.”  
  
Jun made no move to let him go, keeping him close. “I know.”  
  
“May I stay?” he asked, daring to hope.  
  
Jun kissed his hair.  
  
“You don’t have to ask.”  
  
Sho hid his smile and pressed closer, trying to find the way his body would slot perfectly against Jun’s. He didn’t rush though; they’d always have a next time.  
  
It was Sunday, and Sho was right where he wanted to be.  
  
\--  
  
They shared a tub that night and watched The Godfather after their prolonged bath. Jun made popcorn and kept trying to choke Sho by shoving too much in Sho’s mouth, eyes crinkling in laughter whenever Sho coughed some popcorn bits out.  
  
They ended up having sex on Jun’s couch as the credits rolled in, the popcorn set aside in favor of more pressing matters. Sho sat in the space between Jun’s spread legs and Jun edged him until he couldn’t take it anymore, begging through clenched teeth as Jun left another mark on the spot where his jaw met his neck.  
  
Jun merely eyed the mess Sho made and pressed a kiss to Sho’s temple. “Go get cleaned up and ready for bed.”  
  
It was past three in the morning by the time they retired to bed, Sho immediately finding sleep as soon as his cheek hit the newly-replaced sheets. He woke up in the afternoon of that Sunday and padded his way to the dining room to find Jun making omurice.  
  
It wasn’t the kind of morning after (or afternoon later, whatever) that Sho had been expecting, but Jun was a welcome and wanted sight. It was something he was willing to adjust to.  
  
Jun drove him home after a soba dinner, but Jun was only able to leave his place two hours later because Sho had been able to seduce Jun into his bed.  
  
Over time, the Saturday schedule had been mostly abolished. He could see Jun any day of the week just by sending a quick text or a hastily typed message via LINE. Jun’s LINE ID changed from Massan to Macchan—one of the nicknames Sho jokingly gave him but it caught on, especially when Sho felt like making requests.  
  
Only one thing remained on Saturdays. While Jun was still sexually dominant and Sho remained sexually submissive, they decided they couldn’t adapt such roles into a lifestyle and mutually agreed to save Saturday for such activities. They still had sex (lots of it, in fact) outside Saturdays, but every new thing they wanted to try was reserved for the weekend.  
  
The collar became a frequent accessory whenever they found time with each other. Jun wasn’t into vanilla that much, and Sho discovered that the surefire way to have Jun agreeing to a quick fuck was for him to wear the collar and make his demands.  
  
The first time he’d tried it, he had Jun riding him while Jun’s hands remained clutching at the coil of leather around his neck.  
  
Nothing turned Jun on more than the collar, so eventually, Sho decided to keep it with him.  
  
Overall, it hadn’t been easy. Sho had to adjust to the mindset of having Jun as a boyfriend and not just a Saturday secret, and it took him some time to be able to do so. Jun had habits that surprised Sho, owned things that had Sho looking at him disbelief. Sho couldn’t do away with his snoring and it was often a cause of complaint for Jun, who never held back in voicing out what was on his mind.  
  
But despite that, it worked. Not smoothly, but it did. Sho remained honest, talking things out with Jun, the two of them compromising until they come to an understanding or an agreement. It wasn’t perfect, but Sho wouldn’t have it any other way.  
  
A year into knowing each other, Jun presented to him a thin silver bangle with a simple dotted pattern for a design. Sho thought it was Jun’s nondescript way of gifting another collar to him, but Jun pulled out a matching bangle and put it on his own wrist as soon as Sho had the jewelry on.  
  
“This is a couple bracelet,” Sho declared, enjoying the way the tips of Jun’s ears flushed pink.  
  
“It’s a bracelet,” Jun corrected.  
  
“But you have the same one,” Sho pointed out. “That makes it a couple bracelet.”  
  
“You’re annoying,” Jun said, which meant that he’d conceded and Sho was right.  
  
Sho laughed, leaning over to kiss Jun’s cheek. “Thank you. I love it.”  
  
Jun merely inclined his head in acknowledgement.  
  
To return the favor, Sho decided to have Jun meet Ohno and sample Ohno’s lattes. They met up for lunch in the café across the library, and Sho noticed the way Ohno’s eyes lit up at the sight of him bringing a companion.  
  
“Are you Sho-kun’s boyfriend?” Ohno asked outright, not paying any mind to Sho’s flustered reaction.  
  
Jun extended his hand in greeting. “Matsumoto Jun. I heard about your latte art.”  
  
Ohno shook his hand, beaming. “Ohno Satoshi. Do you have any requests on what you’d like to see in your cup?”  
  
“Surprise me, Ohno-san,” Jun said, returning Ohno’s smile. “Sho-san told me you have a knack for creating odd caricatures.”  
  
“Well, I guess you’ll find out later.” Ohno faced Sho, tilting his head to the side. “The usual, Sho-kun?”  
  
“With extra sugar,” Sho said, nodding.  
  
Ohno excused himself with a polite bow, disappearing behind the café counter. Across Sho, Jun was observing their surroundings, resting his hands on the polished oak table.  
  
“This is a quiet place,” Jun told him, understanding evident in his eyes. “No wonder you like it here.”  
  
“The library is quieter,” Sho said, glancing at the direction of the old edifice for emphasis. “But sometimes I need the smell of coffee beans instead of old books.”  
  
Jun rested his chin over his knuckles, observing Sho now. “Only sometimes? I thought you eat lunch here frequently.”  
  
“Well, when Satoshi-kun invites me,” Sho explained.  
  
“I find him intriguing,” Jun said, gaze flitting to the counter where Ohno was busy preparing two lattes. “Maybe I should bring Nino here sometime.”  
  
“Maybe,” Sho said, wondering how that would go. He’d met Nino when Jun had held a Christmas party and introduced him to the guests as his boyfriend. If Nino had any suspicions that he and Sho met months prior, he’d given no indication of it.  
  
Ohno approached their table, carefully placing the lattes he’d worked on. Sho’s cup had a drawing of what he’d assumed to be Doraemon.  
  
“Is this Hamtaro?” Jun asked, pointing to his cup.  
  
“I always thought he had similar cheeks with Sho-kun,” Ohno said as a reply, and Jun cracked a smile.  
  
“We don’t,” Sho retorted. “My cheeks are not furry.”  
  
“For what it’s worth, I find Hamtaro cute,” Jun said, flashing Ohno a friendly smile. “Thank you.”  
  
“Enjoy your latte. Nice meeting you,” Ohno said, giving another bow before taking his leave.  
  
Sho was grumbling about being compared to an animated hamster when he felt something brush his leg, nearly making him jolt. Across him, Jun had his phone out and was taking photos of his latte (another addition to his instagram, perhaps), but Sho felt the unmistakable brush of a clothed toe climb up under the hem of his slacks.  
  
“Macchan,” he said in warning.  
  
Jun blinked in question.  
  
“That tickles,” Sho said, hoping it would make Jun cease playing footsie with him. Their table was at the corner of the café but there was no tablecloth to hide what Jun was doing—anyone could see it provided they looked down.  
  
Jun’s toe brushed up his shin and he let out a breath.  
  
“Are you wearing the socks I gave you?” he asked. Whatever it was that was constantly rubbing against him, it felt fine and expensive.  
  
“Fine silk, wouldn’t you agree?” Jun said, face breaking into an innocent, boyish smile.  
  
Sho sighed and removed one shoe to have his toes climb up Jun’s pant leg, and he didn’t miss how Jun’s pupils dilated the moment he made contact.  
  
They drank their lattes mostly in silence, feet still touching under the table. Sho fought the blush that threatened to creep up his cheeks—they were in public and one of Sho’s friends could see them.  
  
“Say,” Sho started, licking his lips to chaste away the remnants of the espresso, “what time do you head back to the office?”  
  
Jun glanced at his watch for show. “I still have almost thirty minutes.”  
  
“How long is the taxi ride?”  
  
“Eight,” Jun answered. “Why?”  
  
Sho did the math, assuming Jun would need ten minutes to call for a cab and wait for it. He had the library to himself, though it was the intern Fuma who was manning the desk in his absence.  
  
“Assuming you need ten minutes to arrange for a taxi to take you to work, that leaves us more than fifteen minutes,” Sho said, voice dropping in pitch.  
  
Jun grinned. “Getting ideas now, Sho-san?”  
  
“Well, I do have to head back and go straight to the delivery storage room after this.”  
  
“Fifteen minutes?” Jun clarified.  
  
“How fast can you get undressed?” Sho whispered.  
  
“My record? Thirty seconds,” Jun bragged.  
  
Sho’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”  
  
“We had a relay during one of the company’s Christmas parties. We had to lose everything save for the boxers, and it took me twenty-eight seconds to stand in that event hall in just my underwear.” Jun’s eyebrow quirked—a familiar sight. “I only need a minute to get undressed and dressed.”  
  
“Then we have fourteen minutes,” Sho concluded, putting his shoe back on. “Would you like to see our storage room?”  
  
Jun laughed, finishing his latte before standing up and buttoning his suit jacket. “I’d love to.”  
  
\--  
  
Their quickie in the storage room had Jun clamping his hand over Sho’s mouth to muffle Sho’s groans. It was eleven minutes to one in the afternoon by the time Jun had finished buttoning up his dress shirt, and Sho reached over to help him with his tie to make the process faster.  
  
“I’d like to try something this weekend,” Jun said while shrugging on his suit jacket. He still had the healthy flush brought by sex coloring his cheeks, and Sho was tempted to kiss his cheekbones.  
  
“Okay,” Sho said before giving in and leaning forward.  
  
“I’ll email you,” Jun promised. They were at the door, and as soon as Jun makes his leave, Sho would return to work and to cataloguing outdated serials that had been unaddressed for weeks.  
  
Sho nodded, and Jun reached for his wrist, thumb stroking the bracelet possessively.  
  
“Until then,” Jun said, stepping back.  
  
Sho watched Jun go, but not before telling him the truth.  
  
“I look forward to Saturday.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, there are a lot of references in this story and I come with receipts:
> 
>   * “Massan” was from [Jun’s letter to Sho in the AYH backstage](https://twitter.com/saku___rai_/status/818348215472820224).
>   * In the 01/16/2012 Date FM Miyagi that Sho and Ohno did together, Sho admitted that he often bit his nails. [Here's a transcript of that broadcast](http://keshigomiu.livejournal.com/3378.html).
>   * The use of kaimakis in this story was based on Sho's 03/11/2009 Waratte Koraete guesting, where he admitted he couldn't sleep without one. I believe he also talked about this in one of this year's VS Arashi openings.
>   * Sho and Jun’s official meeting in this fic, the one in the bar, was a legit thing that happened on September 2016. [Here’s the mokugeki for that happening](https://twitter.com/kurea_chi/status/773795512612851714) which also says that Sho waited for Jun for 15 minutes.
>   * Jun’s outfit in the bar meeting was based on [this paparazzi photo](https://twitter.com/unleashthegeek/status/798058736258383872).
>   * Jun calling cilantro/coriander a "disgusting grass" was lifted from the 04/09/2016 Shiyagare with Matsuko Deluxe and the Sekamuzu cast.
>   * Jun’s “I won’t give you to anyone” is, ofc, a rip-off from Suppin’ Arashi.
>   * His YSL jeans are [the jeans he wore in his Johnny’s All Stars Island guesting](https://twitter.com/burber74/status/827523470665789441). People on twitter are speculating that he got the pair from the VS Arashi episode with Perfume as the Plus One (or three), aired 02/23/2017.
>   * 4chan told me Jun drove a BMW after he'd driven an Audi (sponsor my studies, MJ).
>   * The bracelet is based on [this tweet](https://twitter.com/banbi0125rap/status/740168871672315904) from twitter Japan. Apparently, the longer I stay on twitter, the trashier I become with my references.
> 

> 
> Lastly, this fic was inspired by two Of Monsters and Men songs: Wolves Without Teeth which is probably its theme song, and Organs which helped me complete the “he just wanted a hug” scene. Said scene was also inspired by Jun’s refusal to “overlap” in last year’s WWG.


End file.
